Monday, May 30, 2011

Memorable Monday?

Yes, I know that it is Memorial Day today. This is not about what Memorial Day is supposed to be, it's about what it has become.

The day took a bad turn early when one of the busboys called to tell me that he didn't know if he would be able to get to work today. I explained that he was fifty minutes late at the time he called and he should hurry in to work. He never made it! Someday in the future, he will be talking to friends and it will go something like this, "Hey, Bro! Remember when I got fired on Memorial Day?"

The Marine Corps League stages a flag raising ceremony at the shopping center on Memorial Day. After the ceremony, they come to the restaurant for breakfast. This morning we had about 45 show up for breakfast. As they were leaving after breakfast, I was up at the register helping the cashier. One man was paying his check and said "Where's the guy who paid all of our checks a couple of years ago? I could sure use him now." I explained to him, "First, it wasn't a guy, it was a woman and she's not here this morning." He responded with the stupid question of the day. "Are you sure that it was a woman?" I explained it a little more, "Yes, SHE is a woman. She's a regular customer and I will bet the farm that she's a woman. Got any more questions?" His wife was laughing. She said, "Some of these guys have been trying to figure out who their benefactor was. They all figured that it was probably some old guy or a retired Marine. I guess that they were all wrong." She was still taunting him as they headed out the door.

In the good news department, one of the cashiers showed up an hour early. Since we needed a cashier earlier than scheduled, this worked out well. Thanks, Pat.

Memorial Day is the unofficial start of summer. It is also when those who are more stylish than I am start wearing lighter colors and whites. Pink shirt, yes. White pants or shoes, not a chance!!

Speaking of fashion, let's work on bringing back the concept of modesty. Evidently, today marked the start of some kind of "breast-athon". There were more low cut blouses on women today than I could stand. Hey girls!! How about leaving a little to the imagination?

Don't worry guys, there's some room for improvement in the way that you are dressing also. Fat guys, small t-shirts, what more can I say? If you can't look down and see your feet, give up on the muscle type shirts. Or get some muscles.

On the way home, I had to stop at Target and Harris Teeter. Both stores were busy and filled with customers who made those folks at the restaurant look good. Can we get a law outlawing spandex? I'm only grateful that I didn't go to Wal-Mart.

If you are a professional who specializes in laser hair removal, please go to either store and hand out some business cards or coupons. I don't think that those people will need all that hair to get through the summer.

What was the best thing for me about today? Breyers ice cream, 2 for $5 at Harris Teeter. I'm not fat, my body retains ice cream.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Does God Exist??

For more than the last forty years, I have enjoyed those periodic debates and arguments than you can get into on the subject of "Does God Exist?" Before you jump to a conclusion, I will tell you that I have argued both sides of the issue. Given my debating skills, I have covered both sides successfully. If you read this blog regularly, you know that I have recently joined Buffalo Presbyterian Church. So you would assume that you can count me in on the "Yes, God exists" side. So why am I writing this? As with everything else in my life, there's a story.

My keyboarding skills are abysmal, so I will give you a brief background. We have a retired military guy at the restaurant who works a couple of days a week. He has worked off and on for more than fifteen years. We have problems with him losing his temper sometimes, but on Wednesday night he went over the edge. I genuinely like him, so it is a little difficult for me to tell this story. Rather than type the whole story, I am just copying the body of an e-mail that I sent a friend in which I related the story. I was on the phone with this friend when the incident started. I have omitted the cook's name and changed the other names.

"We have had some problems with #### and his temper in the past, but nothing like today. He was a maniac!! He was yelling at me about Bill being in the kitchen. I explained that Bill was fixing his meal like all of the other cooks. Then he started yelling at me telling me that Bill was not on the schedule and that he had a problem with him. I responded that Bill was on the schedule and that he (####) needed to get over his problem. At that point, he went berserk. He approached me and shoved (hit, pushed) me in the chest with both of his hands. He hit me hard enough to knock me back a couple of feet to where my back hit the wall. My chest is still a little sore now, several hours later.

Here's the fascinating part for me. When I called you a few minutes earlier, I sat down in the office. My gun was in my back pocket, so I moved it to the front pocket to be more comfortable sitting while we talked. After #### shoved me, I stepped back towards him and put my hand on my gun. #### was standing less than a foot from me with his fists balled up. I realized that if I pulled my gun out, I would have to shoot him. A threat to shoot would not stop him, I was going to have to shoot him. At that range, with the type of bullets that I shoot, he would have died. Incredibly enough, at that point I became unbelievably calm. I took my hand off of my gun. I told him to go home and not to come back. He continued to scream, but I paid little attention. By that point, I was more concerned about employees and customers than I was about ####. He stormed out.

What does all of this mean? It means that #### is alive and others unhurt because at the instant my hand went to my gun, something calmed me. I was able to maintain control of the situation and keep everyone safe.

Was it God? For most of my life I have been able to debate, on an intellectual level, whether God exists. Don't worry, I have always been able to win either side of that argument. Tonight's incident eliminated that argument for me. God was in that kitchen tonight. I don't know if he was watching out for #### or Bill or me, but he was in that kitchen."

Well, that's my story. Yes, I believe that there is a God.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Obama and The Queen

Barack Obama is in Europe again trying to build his support for the 2012 election. The other day at Westminster Abbey he signed the guestbook and dated his comments with "24 May 2008". He had asked someone what the day was, they must have erroneously assumed that he knew the year. So the man celebrated by the media as "brilliant" doesn't know what the year is.

In a conversation with The Queen the other day, she mentioned the issue and her explanation for the failure of the "brilliant" one to know the year. Her explanation was simple, "No teleprompter!!!" Thanks for the laugh, Queenie.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

What Rapture??

Apparently the predicted rapture failed to take place yesterday or at least no one I know was taken. The Queen was in for breakfast and if she wasn't gone in the Rapture, I guess that no one went.

So if you read my last post and I said something nice about you, "You're welcome." If I said something bad about you, "That's life!"

Just when you start to lose hope, you realize that there really is one born every minute. Some retired transit worker in New York spent his $140,000 retirement savings putting up signs and posters about the May 21 world ending. I guess that he didn't have a Plan B.

I think that there is another "The world will end today" on tap in 2012. I'm not sure if that is scheduled for Election Day or not. I will just start work on my post for that day anyway.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

If the World ends today

According to Harold Camping, the Rapture will occur today. Do I have a bucket list?? No, but I do have a few loose ends to tie up. So here are a few random thoughts about the last 57 years.

Maybe I should have taken that last job offer.

To Jim, Harry, Robert, Darrell, Charlie, and Chuck at Bay Mexican Foods, everyone knew you guys were all gay. I was the only one with the nerve to talk to you about it.

If you are someone whom I have fired in the last 35 years, stop being angry, I have.

Grace, I should have fired you sooner.

Ed W., thanks for all of the advice. Some of it is starting to come in handy.

Jim L., I still wake up some nights with the urge to find you and kick your butt.

Anna, You were right. I should have given up plaid shirts years ago.

Several waitresses, Hey Girls! Maybe Mom never told you, but stop wearing black bras under white shirts.

Lots of women, Your breasts aren't that attractive. Try leaving a little to the imagination.

Duncan G., Did you ever sleep with Jeanette?

Erdy, You were a great girl. It's a shame that you were 4" taller than me.

P.A. Russo, You were the BEST teacher in my educational experience.

To the guys at Sysco Charlotte, Thanks for all those stays at the Grove Park Inn.

To the Sons of Confederate Veterans, it is 2011, write this down! The war is over!

Jeff, Walter, William, Bart, It took me this long to be the tall, skinny manager. Thanks!!

Mary, Thanks for dumping me. Life's been better.

Lacy, One day....

Joel, Thanks for the sarcasm pointers. Thank God, I didn't follow the hair advice.

Roland, Thanks for the letter!

To almost all of the women I dated, I'm sorry!

Vonda Kay, your parents knew as soon as they saw the air freshener hanging from the mirror.

Elaine, thanks for sharing your stories.

Bart, thanks for the job.

Rick, Ed, Gary, Alan, Thanks for the support.

John Brown, I'm taking the jam recipe with me.

John Taylor, Thanks for being the first to quit.

Charles, CBS cut out my comment about you. Yes, it was good.

Buffalo Church, I did enjoy cooking those dinners. Thanks for making me feel welcome.

Jesse, Good listener, thanks.

Barry, 28 years and you couldn't come 100 miles??

The Queen, Thanks for listening. You are the best. Almost nothing left to say.

Mom, I love you!!

Walter, William, Sorry about that middle name thing. The guns are hidden in the..

Susan, Thanks for your love and patience. I won't mention the dog. Should I go in that pink shirt??

Friday, May 20, 2011

Hey Arnold!!!

Hey Arnold!! Could you have been just a little more stupid?? You had an affair with your housekeeper?? Did it cause any scheduling problems when your wife and housekeeper gave birth at about the same time?? I realize that things are a little different in California, but this may be past my tolerance level.

Don't worry about your acting career Arnold, it's over. What husband is going to suggest to his wife that they go to one of your movies? One mention of your name and the rant on infidelity begins. Women are saints, men are scum, I am sure that you have heard the story. If not, turn on any of those television talk shows.

Arnold, there is some hope for your acting career. Was your baby's mama carrying a video camera like John Edwards' friend? Maybe your future is in low budget adult films. I have already seen a couple of references to you as The Pervinator and The Sperminator. Act fast while there's still some interest.

Speaking of John Edwards, there's a guy with class. Running for President, wife dying of cancer, still squeezes in a little time for an affair with a nutcase. What would it have been like if he had won the election?? Can you picture that woman as the First Lady? She would have made Mary Todd Lincoln look good. We would have all been sitting here missing Bill and Hillary Clinton.

Arnold, what was the hurry to tell Maria about the child? I hear that the Rapture is happening on Saturday. If I were you, I would have waited a week just on the chance the world was going to end. I realize that it's a long shot, but it beats the heck out of telling your wife that you knocked up the housekeeper. But I guess that based on your track record, you were pretty sure that you would not be among the raptured. By the way, at which Taco Bell did you meet your future love interest?

Rather than believe that all of the classless guys are Americans, read about Dominique Strauss-Kahn, head of the IMF. I understand that he is French, but even in France, I doubt that the hotel maids are there for sex. It's room service, moron. They are there to clean.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn is not only giving men a bad name, he's killing the International Monetary Fund. I got an e-mail yesterday suggesting that in his case, IMF may have another meaning. You will have to decode that one on your own or wait until it shows up in your e-mail. I have committed not to use at least one of those words in this blog.

I would cross racial lines and mention Tiger Woods, but there is no sport there. He hasn't played a decent round of golf since his problems all became public. I can't believe that he even had the energy to play golf. There had to be some kind of drugs involved with that.

I'm nothing, if not fair. How about a little recognition to our Islamic brethren? Osama bin Laden, three wives and a porn collection?? Who has that kind of time or energy? How could he be plotting terrorist activities with three wives around? His to-do list had to be filled before he got started in the morning. I am trying to picture any man telling three wives something like, "Hey girls. Go do the laundry while I watch a couple of videos." I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out that one of his wives grabbed a gun from one of the Seals and shot him herself!

If you are a public figure and are engaging in the same kind of things these morons are doing, STOP!! It's getting tougher for the rest of us to be treated fairly with schmucks like you guys running loose.

Hey fellows! Cut me some slack, I have enough in life to do without having to stop and defend our gender. I've got the dog to walk and a pink shirt to iron!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Thoughtless Thursday

Democrats and hair stylists everywhere are breathing a sigh of relief since Donald Trump announced that he will not run for President in 2012.

Critics of the Hairball claimed that Trump's business experience had been tainted because of some bankruptcies. Hey guys! Have you heard of General Motors?? Wait!! The government still owns most of that one.

Trump claimed that his television show, which I have never even wanted to watch, was more critical than running for President. At least he was honest about his priorities. Obama doesn't even have priorities.

Trump criticized Obama about the birth certificate thing. It must have worked as the White House released another version of his birth certificate. Obama's birth certificate is kind of like a computer program. They keep releasing improved versions until they get it right. We're on Birth Certificate 5.2 right now.

As long as we are talking birth certificates, how about one for that swirl of hair on Trump's head? As a long time bald guy, I can assure you that hair does not grow on anything with that result. It reminds me a little of Sam "One strand Sam" Donaldson when he was on ABC. He had one strand of hair covering most of his head. If he had combed it out, that one strand would have reached his knees.

On a related topic, Mike Huckabee announced that he will not be a candidate in 2012. Apparently, television shows are more lucrative than the Presidency.

The Chosen One recently visited the Mexican border and attacked the Republicans for wanting a "moat filled with alligators". Actually, Mr."I can't prove I was born", I was thinking more of a moat filled with piranha.

I saw that the price of gas has dropped almost TWO cents a gallon. That's our government at work!

The economy must be getting better. I hired two college students for summer jobs. That's the first time that we have done that in years. Of course, we have hired regular employees who didn't make it through the summer, so what do we have to lose??

My older son's future wife does not like pink shirts on men. All I need to do now is find a matching tuxedo to wear to their wedding. He doesn't want me to do that. He thinks that it will clash with the orange ensemble that he wants to wear. My younger son is ordering kilts for us to wear. I guess that I can finally carry that dirk properly. We will see how it all looks when the music starts!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

It's more than a place to eat

I have been the General Manager at Tex & Shirley's for twenty years. Before that I managed corporate restaurants, franchised restaurants, and a couple of independent restaurants. T&S is unlike anywhere that I have worked before. T&S is an institution in Greensboro. It is not however, the institution where many believe I should be. That may only be half a joke!

Being entrusted with an institution is a tough job. Our customers have standards that they expect us to meet everyday. We go to work everyday with that as our goal.

Why after almost six years of blogging am I finally writing about Tex & Shirley's? Excellent question, I am considering answering it. Two incidents this week caused me to be pause and take a look at what I like about T&S.

Everyday of the week has its own set of regular customers, in particular at breakfast. I am at the restaurant almost every day. But I open the restaurant almost every Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. The Sunday group is obviously pretty large. While I know many of our Sunday customers, most of my time on Sunday is spent in the kitchen. Most of the Sunday customers with whom I interact are there early. Monday and Tuesday customers are a different story. I usually have the time to talk with many of those folks. On Wednesday and Thursday nights, I work the evening shift and close the restaurant. While we don't have as many regulars in the evening as we do at breakfast, we still have a pretty good group.

The daily regulars are like an extended family. There's a different family for each day. It is interesting to watch because most of these people know each other only through T&S. It works like a real family does, only sometimes better. If someone is out sick or on vacation, everyone wants to know about it. You're a regular and out sick? Somebody is passing a card for you around for people to sign. In the hospital, someone is coming to see you. One customer compares T&S to a neighborhood pub, but I guess that's without the beer.

My favorite morning group is the Tuesday morning group. Among others who come in early on Tuesday are Craig & Mary, Charlie, the Mikes, Oatmeal man, the Queen, Frank, Joel, funeral director Danny, the toy store lady, and the College Park Guys(Frank, Dan, Denver and anyone brave enough to meet them). This Tuesday was a little strange. The Queen had told me on Monday that she would not be in on Tuesday. I appreciate the notice, but I'm not sure which of us has the other trained. On Tuesday morning, my day fell apart. Not only was the Queen missing, but at least three or four others were not to be found. Until Tuesday, I did not realize how much of a routine I had in the morning. One customer, who falls into the semi-regular category, asked where everyone was. I shrugged my shoulders and responded "#**#, I don't know." I was a little out of sorts all day. My day changed a little for the better when Craig and Mary finally showed up at lunch. I'm beginning to wonder if I need to get into some kind of 12 step program for this addiction!!

Wednesday night, Elaine and her husband Dick were in for dinner. Elaine actually reads this blog, so she may not be as smart as I think she is. Anyway, I went to talk to them and told her my story about the naked man and the dog. I'll tell that story here some time in the future. Elaine was laughing so hard I was afraid that she might fall out of the booth. She told me that she had needed a laugh that night, but had not expected to get it at T&S. Hey Elaine! What are friends for?? Do you think that Wednesday night is just for cheap pancakes?

So what's my point with all of this? Tex & Shirley's is where you can find friends, extended families, good conversation and some bad jokes.(See Craig) We are more than just a place to eat.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Tough day for a Tuesday

First, let's talk about the price of gasoline. When the price of crude oil was increasing, gas stations were changing gas prices daily. Prices were being changed in the middle of the day, no need to wait until the end of the day. Now that the price of crude oil is dropping, what's happening to the price of gasoline? If you guessed NOTHING, you are correct. The price of crude has dropped 15%, the price of gasoline has not moved. Why isn't O'bummer's Justice Department investigating this?

I read that the Arnold Schwarzenegger, and his wife Maria Shriver are divorcing. She's a member of the Kennedy family. No political position, no marriage. Given the life expectancy in the Kennedy family, this could increase Arnold's life expectancy.

I fired a busboy today. He was cleaning the ladies restroom and had been in there for several minutes. After a couple of women complained about how long it was taking him to clean the restroom, I opened the door. He was standing there talking on his cell phone. I exploded and told him to meet me in the back of the restaurant. Once in the back, he told me that he had been talking to his probation officer. Hey, this is a great time to tell your boss that you are on probation. It's not often that you get to tell someone that they are just too stupid to work for you. How angry was I?? My son came in the back door during this and stopped near the door. I can't decide if he was afraid to come any closer or was covering me in case it got ugly. Give someone a chance and they screw up. Call me when something changes.

If you are one of the four people who haven't seen the following picture online, here's bin Laden's tombstone.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

What I learned this week

On Saturday I toured the Caswell County Courthouse with the Chapman Society. I learned that there are still some young people with an interest in history. The flip side is that at lunch I learned that there are women with way too many piercings and tattoos. Why does anyone get their tongue pierced??

This morning I was reminded that you don't have to be smart to use the telephone. Around 7:30 A.M. the phone rang at the restaurant. A woman asked, "What time do you open?" I responded, "We opened at 6:00 A.M." She said, "So you are open now?" I fought off the urge to ask what time zone she was calling from and simply responded "Correct."

Wednesday night, I learned that people don't ask all of their senseless questions in restaurants. A lady at the church covered dish supper started telling me how no one bothered to read the large sign that said "Sweet" by the tea. Instead they preferred to ask her if the tea was sweet. I suggested that she could come hang out at the restaurant for a couple of hours if she really wanted to see people who couldn't read.

Wednesday, I also learned two lessons about desserts. First, there are a lot of good desserts at a covered dish dinner. Second. If you leave four pieces of lemon pound cake in the refrigerator when you go to bed, there will not be four pieces there when you get up in the morning. Thanks, Will.

This morning I learned that some things just don't happen unless I cause them to happen. Employees will empty a box in the stockroom and just leave it there. They will work around it rather than move it. We may need to redefine lazy.

Expanding on that thought is the realization that many people go to work everyday terrified that someone else is going to do less than they are going to do. I'm sorry, but in some cases that might require one party to be dead.

This happens often, but it is still worth a mention. A waitress comes up to me and asks, "We don't have any chocolate milk in the refrigerator or any in the walk-in cooler. Are we out?" Sounds like it to me!

Wednesday at work, I was reminded that burgundy shirts and bleach don't mix. A customer suggested that I could wear the shirt again in the winter when I could wear a sweater over it hiding the spot. Honey, thanks for the idea, but I'll just give it to Goodwill instead.

Last Sunday I learned not to bet with a professional gambler. Then again, it wasn't that big a bet and I enjoyed the scones anyway.

Saturday morning Jeff and I learned that you should keep a closer eye on the Queen's table early in the morning. That one's an inside joke!

Just a few minutes ago, I learned that my wife's puppy isn't completely housebroken. I also learned that my dog walking days aren't over yet.

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Love Letters??

Today I received an interesting comment/question from an anonymous reader. Normally I send anonymous comments straight to the trash, but this one was pretty tame. Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous wrote, "Under "interests" in your profile, you list "love letters". Are you serious??"

Apparently, Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous knows me personally. I have a few suspects in mind already, but I digress. To answer the question, the answer is yes. I also understand that it will stun many people who know me to find out that I am interested in love letters. I actually mentioned this in a program that I gave to a Sons of Confederate Veterans camp several years ago. To my amazement, one of the members spoke to me after the meeting about his collection on the subject. We were the last two guys in the group that I would have imagined would share that interest.

Over the last 42 years, I started at 16, I have written more than my share. I also have several books that are collections of love letters and a couple of books that are how-to books about love letters. I mentioned this in a post in March titled "We don't write anymore". I also mentioned a Valentine's Day story that I would write later. Several close friends, probably including Mr./Mrs. Anonymous, have heard this story, but I will tell it anyway.

In January, 1977 I was working for the Waffle House. I was sent to Atlanta from my home in Tampa to fill in for a district manager who would be out a month for surgery. A couple of weeks before Valentine's Day, I realized that I might not be home in time for it. So I decided to write my girlfiend some love letters. I went to to store and bought envelopes and stationery. I went to the Post Office and bought a roll of 100 stamps. Then I settled in at my room at the Holiday Inn and started "100 reasons I love you". Over a two week period, I finished the project. I mailed a few everyday, so that she would not get them all at once. I actually got back to Tampa late on February 13. I had arranged to take her to dinner on Valentine's Day. I picked her up at her home and we headed out to dinner. As we crossed the high center span of the Howard Frankland Bridge on the way to St. Petersburg, she turned to me and said "I got your letters". My head almost exploded!! Dozens of hours of work and all of the money spent and all she could say was "I got your letters." Are you kidding me? She didn't break up with me for several months, but I could see the handwriting on the wall.

In my briefcase, I carry an article about love letters taken from Reader's Digest in 1977. I later bought the book the article referenced, but I still read that article periodically.

Who is my favorite love letter writer? Hands down, it is Napoleon. He wrote incredible letters to Josephine. I am fascinated by his relationship with her. She was a few years older than he and came from a completely different background but, they shared a relationship of intense love. Maybe even a love-hate relationship, but that is the danger of intensity.

In one 1797 letter Napoleon spent most of the letter chastising Josephine for not writing to him. Then he closes with these two paragraphs;
"In truth, I am worried, my love, to have no news from you; Write me a four-page letter instantly made up from those delightful words which fill my heart with emotion and joy.
I hope to hold you in my arms before long, when I shall lavish upon you a million kisses, burning as the equatorial sun.

In a 1796 letter, Napoleon wrote; "The day when you say 'I love you less", will mark the end of my love and the last day of my life. If my heart were base enough to love without being loved in return, I would tear it to pieces."

In the same 1796 letter, Bonaparte writes;
"I have not spent a day without loving you; I have not spent a night without embracing you; I have not so much as drunk a single cup of tea without cursing the pride and ambition which force me to remain separated from the moving spirit of my life."

"Burning as the equatorial sun." "The moving spirit of my life." "If my heart were base enough to love" If I could write stuff like that, I could give up my current job. Yes, Mr./Mrs. Anonymous, I am interested in love letters.

Friday, May 06, 2011

Obama been lying about Osama bin Laden??

This week's big story is the reported death of Osama bin Laden or as the story will eventually develop, Osama bin Elvis.

The Obama story is that upon his direct orders, Navy Seals attacked a compound in Pakistan and killed bin Laden. They then buried the famed terrorist at sea. How thoughtful! I'm part of the group that believes that we should have kept his body so that we can prove that he is dead. Let's face it, there are still people who think that Elvis and JFK are alive. I think that they were in the Krispy Kreme when I last stopped for donuts. John Wilkes Booth may have been with them.

Would it have been too insensitive to place bin Laden's head on a stake at the White House or Pentagon? How about at the World Trade Center? Why bury him at sea? There are people who think that we have aliens from Roswell stored at Wright-Patterson. How long before the conspiracy theorists start on this one? They have plenty of time, a lot of them don't have jobs.

Why didn't we stage a large state funeral for bin Laden? All of his friends could have come to see him off. There's an intelligence gathering opportunity for the CIA. After the festivities, we could have buried him in a garbage dump somewhere. Why defile a perfectly good garbage dump? Put him in a large box, add about 10,000 gallons of jet fuel and let it burn for days. Add followers to the fire as they arrive.

Obama "ordered" this attack just a few days after releasing the fourth or fifth copy of his birth certificate. Yes, the Presidential campaign of 2012 is underway. I don't believe in coincidence. What will the Obama campaign bring next week ?? Will someone get a job? Will the price of gas drop a nickel? Will the Republicans find someone to send Obama back to Chicago to work as a community organizer??

Did Obama time his "direct orders" to help his campaign? Did he wait a couple of days so as to not conflict with the Royal Wedding? Or after a couple of years on the job, did he lose his tee time at the golf course and decide to do a little work instead? If I were Obama, I would call George W. and ask to borrow the infamous "Mission Accomplished" banner, just in case that's not bin Laden feeding the fish. How long will it be before someone claiming to be bin Laden appears on television?

How long has the US known where bin Laden was? We have been looking for him since the first Trade Center attack in 1993. This guy is a 6'4" Arab. How hard could this be? Looking for a 6'4" Arab is like looking for Shaquille O'Neal in Mexico City. They could have spotted him from a spy satellite.

The Pakistanis have threatened to end their co-operation with the United States in a counter terrorism operation if the United States mounts another unilateral operation like the bin Laden raid. Hmmm! Let's see. Osama bin Laden is found in a town less than an hour's drive from the Pakistani capital. He lived about a mile from a military academy. I don't think that the Pakistanis are on board for the counter terrorism thing anyway. Screw them!(or stronger words to that effect, you choose) In that part of the world, people are loyal to whoever gave them their last dime or dime bag, as the case may be. I think that the Obama administration would find huge public support for the immediate end to any aid for Pakistan. Why are we borrowing money to give to Pakistan??

The Obama administration attributes the conflicting stories from the raid to the "fog of war". Why didn't they get everyone back safely, debrief them, prepare a report, and then tell us about it? What was the hurry? Were they afraid of the Pakistanis telling the world that someone had sneaked in and killed the terrorist they were protecting? Was Obama afraid that the French would claim the credit? It's taken four years to find a birth certificate, suddenly he wants everyone to know the all of the details on a raid?

Obama says that to release the photos of the "dead" bin Laden would endanger national security. What did killing him do? They will end up releasing photos, they should have checked with the guy handling the birth certificate thing.

Memo to Obama: When you get ready to release all of the photos and details on the raid, rather than dribbling it out day by day, let me know in advance. If you can really prove that the bastard is actually dead, we can stage a little party at the restaurant. We can set up a TV, put out a few tablecloths, bake a few scones, maybe give out door prizes. In short, it would be much more interesting than your presidential inauguration or a Royal Wedding.

Racism in Guilford County Government??

This morning's News and Record has a story about The Conservatives for Guilford County wanting to meet with the County Commission about the budget. Skip Alston, the famous racist, weighed in with this comment published in the News and Record.

"But Alston said he didn't consider the group to be informed about county finances and said their suggestions — which he called “irresponsible” and “slash and burn” — don’t interest him. He also said the group isn’t racially diverse, claiming he had yet to see a black member of the group.
“Therefore, my constituents are left out,” Alston said.

Before a mob forms to argue with my labeling Alston as a racist, allow me to point out that those who make judgments based on skin color are by definition, racists. Imagine the reaction if a white commissioner had said that he didn't want to meet with a group because they were all black. The NAACP would be marching in the streets. It's strange how quiet they are about Mr. Alston's comments.

Skippie's comment that his constituents are left out would lead one to believe that his all of his constituents are black. I don't believe that this is true. Mr. Alston's job is to represent ALL of his constituents. Try doing your job, Skip.

Sunday, May 01, 2011

Sunday Stuff

I officially became a member of Buffalo Presbyterian Church today. I was more than a little nervous about it this morning. Don't bother asking why, I don't know. It's a good church, lots of nice people. I seem to fit in pretty well. The Queen was in for breakfast and was entertained by my level of anxiety. She later sent an e-mail that began "Stiff upper lip..." One wedding on Friday and suddenly we are all British again?? What's going on with that?

I arrived at church a little early and relayed my anxiety level to Jesse. He assured me that he had never lost a member at this point. I reminded him that there was a first time for everything. By the time the service ended, I was the most relieved guy in the church. I had checked my blood pressure at about 8:30 A.M. It was pretty high. I checked it again at 12:30, down 30 points. Whew!!

On Saturday, I received word that the NC Employment Security Commission had ruled that the prep cook caught stealing at the restaurant was NOT eligible for unemployment compensation. Finally, one goes my way!

My best dishwasher returned to work on Friday. Just out of a 45 day stint at the Guilford County prison farm, he was happy to be at work. Friday morning, I saw him eating pancakes with a spoon. I told him that he was free now and could use a fork.

I used to tell people that I loved to see employees buying new cars. It meant that they wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. With my dishwasher, it's a little different. One of his "baby's mama" is great with child again. He's not going anywhere. For him, it's work or jail for child support.

Finally, a word of thanks to all of the people at Buffalo Church for their warm welcome today. From Loretta shocking me with a loud "You're in!!" and being the first to welcome me to Ray making me feel petite with his hearty handshake. Jesse, I was looking for the emergency exit until that final prayer!! Bill, thanks for wearing a louder shirt than mine. Clyde, sorry that I didn't recognize you with the choir robe on. Barbara and Clyda, I'll let you know about the Wednesday night volunteer thing. Thanks to Wayne, Nancy, Arlene, Anne, Joe and all of the other people who relieved my anxiety today. If I omitted your name, I'm sorry.