Thursday Thoughts

The news is filled with stories about budget cuts coming from the federal government. Is there anyone with more than a room temperature IQ who doesn't think that they spend too much??

To end the argument about how much damage a 5% budget will do to the economy, I will invoke Jones' rule of circumcision. You can take 10% off of anything and it will still work.

How did it cost the taxpayers for Michele Obama to appear on the Academy Awards show to present an Oscar the other night?

Today is National Tooth Fairy Day. There's some information that you can't get everywhere!

Tried working the ##@@**## Sudoku puzzle again. The News & Record has changed sources on their Sudoku puzzle. It hasn't made any difference to me. I stil can't solve it.

College basketball peaks this month. March Madness will soon be in full swing. Someone wake me when it's over.

I received a picture of Alice (my granddaughter) today. The caption read, "Walking and drinking water at the same time." That's great!! I still can't do that.

Dear Barack

Open letter to Barack Obama:

Mr. President,

 While you and your friends were playing golf at a private resort in Florida over the weekend, the price of gasoline went up between ten and fifteen cents a gallon. I'm telling you this because I know that you can't read those gas station signs from Air Force One or from the tinted windows of the limo.

 I know that it doesn't impact you because we the taxpayers buy your gasoline, but it matters to a lot of us who have to drive to our jobs. Those jobs enable us to keep paying taxes so that you and the rest of the ruling class don't have to get real jobs. So before you start bleeding us for Obamacare, how about a little relief on the price of gas??

It's interesting that you want to regulate health care, but have no interest in the price of gas. I realize that a lot of your supporters don't own cars, but take a look at it anyway.

Don't waste your breath on that carbon footprint crap. When you are riding around in a minivan, we will talk about that. In the interim, remember that real leaders lead by example. You need to park Air Force One and the limo and all of the Suburbans and gain a little credibility. Call if you have questions.

Thanks,
Gilbert Jones

Saturday Satire

I was at the Wells Fargo bank in Graham yesterday and saw a sign that they would be open on Monday, President's Day. They were closed on MLK Day, but they are open on President's Day? We used to celebrate Lincoln's Birthday and Washington's Birthday and then they were combined into President's Day. Now they aren't celebrating that. Apparently holidays have fallen victim to political correctness. Not knowing our history will result in a nation that won't know where it is going. As a closing thought, where would MLK have been without Lincoln??

Last week I stopped at Harris Teeter for cream cheese for some peanut butter pies. Cream cheese was on sale. I had to find that myself online. My friend who sends me the HT sales info forgot about me this week. Anyway I was standing at the cream cheese picking up 4 packs of Philadelphia brand when a woman standing beside me said, “Honey, you probably didn’t see this, but the HT brand is on sale for $1.97 each”. I said, “Yes, but the Philadelphia is 2 for $3.” She said, “Yes, but that’s not as cheap as $1.97 each.” I grabbed my cream cheese and took off!! Where does the United States rank on math tests?

Jesse Jackson Jr. and his wife have agreed to plead guilty in a case involving diversion of campaign funds for personal use. He's going to jail for buying a fedora that belonged to Michael Jackson among other things. Jackson is a product of the same Illinois Democratic machine that gave us Obama.

In the news this morning, Obama is headed to Florida for a "boys weekend" playing golf. Do you think that he is taking any of the 23 million unemployed with him for this taxpayer funded holiday? How many of us have an employer who will send us to Florida to play golf this weekend? It's looking more like the old Soviet Union every day!!!

Olympic Arms is refusing to sell AR-15s to police departments in states where they ban citizens from owning them. They have also refused to advertise the journal of the Fraternal Order of Police because they support the assault weapon ban. Here's a link to more information on that:http://cdn2.cheaperthandirt.com/blog/?p=39531&utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=social&utm_content=chronicle&utm_campaign=20120216social-chronicle-olympic-arms-takes-hard-line-against-gun-grab&utm_source=EmailDirect.com&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=20130216-Chronicle+Campaign

State of His Union

Here's a little rant that I posted on Facebook earlier today. If you aren't my friend on Facebook and not many people are, here it is.

I have watched and read the highlights of last night's State of his Union speech by the President. As all of my classmates at Pierce Jr. High who were in P.A. Russo's Civics class must know, Obama must have failed Civics. Had he stayed awake in class, he would have known that the function of the executive branch is to implement and enforce the laws that the legislative branch passes. Obama is threatening to implement carbon restrictions if the Congress does not pass a law doing that. This from a guy who rides in Air Force One, is chauffered in a five ton limo or rides around in armored SUVs. This is from a guy who has a carbon footprint bigger than his wife's butt. He wants us to ride in some electric car than can only go 50 miles and won't hold your family. This looks a lot like the leadership of the old Soviet Union. No wonder he wants to disarm us all!!!

Hypocrites??

Yesterday, while Joe Biden met with the NRA and other gun ownership, President Obama signed into law a bill giving him, George W. Bush and future former presidents lifetime Secret Service protection. The law also covers spouses of the presidents.

Let's make sure that I have this correct. The Obama administration is deciding how can they can limit my right to protect myself while they give themselves lifetime protection for which I pay.

 This is sounding more like the Soviet Union every day. We have established a "ruling class" that gets everything while the rest of us struggle to survive. In the movie "Enemy at the Gates" there is a great scene where Kruschev explains this concept and how it works to a young commissar.

This reminds me of an incident several years ago. I was talking to the Guilford County Manager and I was voicing complaints about having to go through security checks just to get into the courthouse. I told him that all of these security measures were the result of government officials asking the wrong question. They are asking, "How can we keep people from coming down here and hurting us?" They should be asking, "What are we doing here that is pissing people off so badly that they want to come down here and hurt us?"

In recent memory there has only been one president to end his Secret Service protection. Surely, if Richard Nixon could do without it, anyone can.

I won't bother getting into the lifetime pension issue for all of those crooks at this time. I'll save that for another day. In the meantime think about why we should pay Nancy Pelosi for the rest of her life.

Do What??

I'm not sure if it's a new trend or maybe I'm just late spotting it, but when did people change the way they order food in restaurants?

In my new job, I am constantly listening to customers placing their orders for food. My first thought on the matter is that the average IQ in America is taking a dive. Every day someone comes and says something like, "I'll have the number five." You then have to explain that our meal choices are not numbered and then you must try to determine what they actually want. These folks can't read a menu, but are allowed to vote. More on that another day.

Here's what irritates me the most. It's people "doing" food. Yes, "doing" food. I have been in this business for forty five years and this is the latest trend in stupidity. For more than forty years, I have listened to people order meals. "I will order the .....", "I will take the...", "I'll have the...", "I want the..." were all common ways to order your meal. Now, they are all "doing" food. "I'll do the french fries." "I'll do the two piece chicken." "I'll do the burrito."  It even extends to condiment and drink requests. "I'll do the honey mustard." "I'll do the Diet Coke." Or the ultimate in ordering stupidity, "I'll do the number five."

Maybe I'm just old or set in my ways, or maybe I'm old and set in my ways, but "doing" has a different meaning in my world. Must be that child of the 50's and 60's thing!

So the next time that you are in a restaurant, don't "DO" your food. Please!!!

Web Words

A high school classmate posted this online. It was easier than writing something of my own this evening.

‎23 ADULT TRUTHS

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word, and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than with
Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile, because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble 1) locating their car keys in a pocket, 2) finding their cell phone, and 3) Pinning the Tail on the Donkey. But I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
23. In ice hockey, the “cup" was first used in 1874; the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.