Alice at 18 Months

Fathers Day??

This Sunday is Fathers Day. There aren't many holidays that I dread more than Fathers Day.

My father died more than forty years ago. He and my mother divorced when I was five or six. I only saw him a few times after that. He was a hard working man. I guess that I may have inherited that quality. He was also a heavy smoker and an alcoholic. Alcohol destroyed his life and in the end it caused his death. I have already lived twenty years longer than he did.

Did my father influence my life in the few short years that I knew him? Of course he did. He was a heavy smoker. I have never smoked anything. That's no cigarettes, no cigars, no pipes, no pot. He was an alcoholic. I have had less than twenty drinks in my life, the last one in 1975. I have never had a beer. I march to the tune of my own drum and it's playing "Don't take a chance with that".

We live in a society today where single mothers are raising a lot of our children. This doesn't work and never will work. The role of men has been reduced in many cases to that of "sperm donor". Sometimes that decision is made by irresponsible men and sometimes it is made by women who think that single parent families are the norm.

Vernon Robinson, perennial political candidate in this area, has been preaching on this subject for years. He strongly believes that the biggest problem facing America is the destruction of the family unit. A lot of this is due to government programs that encourage single parent families. Before you waste your time arguing with this, I will remind you that the first rule in modifying human behavior is this: Any activity that you reward, you reinforce.

I would ask my sons about their opinions of Fathers Day, but I will wait to open the gifts first. HA!!!

Redneck Crazy???

Yes, I know that I haven't posted in months. Sorry, but between starting a new job and everything else associated with getting older, I just haven't been able to hack out any thoughts.

A few weeks ago, I was listening to the radio as I drove. A song came on that hit a nerve. I called my older son and asked, "Hey, have you heard "Redneck Crazy" by Tyler Farr?" He had not. I told him, "Been there, done that, bought all of the t-shirts." He just laughed.

A few days later, he and his family came to our house for dinner. As soon as they arrived, he used my laptop to bring up the video of "Redneck Crazy".  It stars the guys from "Duck Dynasty", whatever that may be. The video is funny.

So here's my "Redneck Crazy" story. It was New Year's Eve, 1977. It was 6:23 when the phone rang at my apartment. It was my girlfriend of almost three years. She started rambling about something and talked a few minutes before I said, "Honey, I'm supposed to pick you up at 7:00. What are you trying to tell me?" She replied, "I think that we need to date other people." I responded,"When should we start this?" She said, "I have a date for tonight."

To this day, more than 35 years later, that moment remains my definition of "blind rage". After about three hours, I was calm enough to drive. I went out and ate dinner. After dinner, I rode by the house that she shared with her sister. Parked in front of the house was a Ford truck that I recognized as belonging to a guy who was a regular customer at the restaurant she managed.

I am not a man prone to physical violence so I ruled out destroying the truck with a sledge hammer or by burning it. I did have a plan B. I went home and got a few tools. I went back and removed the tires and wheels and left the truck sitting on the ground. I put the wheels into the bed of the truck. I wanted to make sure that they realized that this was not just some random act of vandalism, so I removed the valve cores from the valve stems on the tires. I duct taped those to the windshield. I headed home.

At home, I gathered up all of her things that were at my apartment and placed them outside by the door. I then went to bed and slept the contented sleep of a satisfied crazed man. My sleep was interrupted by a call at 2:30 A.M. which started with a woman screaming, "Gil Jones, you son of a bitch!!". I replied, "Mary, whatever are you talking about?" The conversation spiraled downhill pretty quickly and ended with her slamming the phone down.

YEP!!! "Redneck Crazy", thirty five years before the song. Art imitates life.

Thursday Thoughts

The news is filled with stories about budget cuts coming from the federal government. Is there anyone with more than a room temperature IQ who doesn't think that they spend too much??

To end the argument about how much damage a 5% budget will do to the economy, I will invoke Jones' rule of circumcision. You can take 10% off of anything and it will still work.

How did it cost the taxpayers for Michele Obama to appear on the Academy Awards show to present an Oscar the other night?

Today is National Tooth Fairy Day. There's some information that you can't get everywhere!

Tried working the ##@@**## Sudoku puzzle again. The News & Record has changed sources on their Sudoku puzzle. It hasn't made any difference to me. I stil can't solve it.

College basketball peaks this month. March Madness will soon be in full swing. Someone wake me when it's over.

I received a picture of Alice (my granddaughter) today. The caption read, "Walking and drinking water at the same time." That's great!! I still can't do that.

Dear Barack

Open letter to Barack Obama:

Mr. President,

 While you and your friends were playing golf at a private resort in Florida over the weekend, the price of gasoline went up between ten and fifteen cents a gallon. I'm telling you this because I know that you can't read those gas station signs from Air Force One or from the tinted windows of the limo.

 I know that it doesn't impact you because we the taxpayers buy your gasoline, but it matters to a lot of us who have to drive to our jobs. Those jobs enable us to keep paying taxes so that you and the rest of the ruling class don't have to get real jobs. So before you start bleeding us for Obamacare, how about a little relief on the price of gas??

It's interesting that you want to regulate health care, but have no interest in the price of gas. I realize that a lot of your supporters don't own cars, but take a look at it anyway.

Don't waste your breath on that carbon footprint crap. When you are riding around in a minivan, we will talk about that. In the interim, remember that real leaders lead by example. You need to park Air Force One and the limo and all of the Suburbans and gain a little credibility. Call if you have questions.

Thanks,
Gilbert Jones

Saturday Satire

I was at the Wells Fargo bank in Graham yesterday and saw a sign that they would be open on Monday, President's Day. They were closed on MLK Day, but they are open on President's Day? We used to celebrate Lincoln's Birthday and Washington's Birthday and then they were combined into President's Day. Now they aren't celebrating that. Apparently holidays have fallen victim to political correctness. Not knowing our history will result in a nation that won't know where it is going. As a closing thought, where would MLK have been without Lincoln??

Last week I stopped at Harris Teeter for cream cheese for some peanut butter pies. Cream cheese was on sale. I had to find that myself online. My friend who sends me the HT sales info forgot about me this week. Anyway I was standing at the cream cheese picking up 4 packs of Philadelphia brand when a woman standing beside me said, “Honey, you probably didn’t see this, but the HT brand is on sale for $1.97 each”. I said, “Yes, but the Philadelphia is 2 for $3.” She said, “Yes, but that’s not as cheap as $1.97 each.” I grabbed my cream cheese and took off!! Where does the United States rank on math tests?

Jesse Jackson Jr. and his wife have agreed to plead guilty in a case involving diversion of campaign funds for personal use. He's going to jail for buying a fedora that belonged to Michael Jackson among other things. Jackson is a product of the same Illinois Democratic machine that gave us Obama.

In the news this morning, Obama is headed to Florida for a "boys weekend" playing golf. Do you think that he is taking any of the 23 million unemployed with him for this taxpayer funded holiday? How many of us have an employer who will send us to Florida to play golf this weekend? It's looking more like the old Soviet Union every day!!!

Olympic Arms is refusing to sell AR-15s to police departments in states where they ban citizens from owning them. They have also refused to advertise the journal of the Fraternal Order of Police because they support the assault weapon ban. Here's a link to more information on that:http://cdn2.cheaperthandirt.com/blog/?p=39531&utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=social&utm_content=chronicle&utm_campaign=20120216social-chronicle-olympic-arms-takes-hard-line-against-gun-grab&utm_source=EmailDirect.com&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=20130216-Chronicle+Campaign

State of His Union

Here's a little rant that I posted on Facebook earlier today. If you aren't my friend on Facebook and not many people are, here it is.

I have watched and read the highlights of last night's State of his Union speech by the President. As all of my classmates at Pierce Jr. High who were in P.A. Russo's Civics class must know, Obama must have failed Civics. Had he stayed awake in class, he would have known that the function of the executive branch is to implement and enforce the laws that the legislative branch passes. Obama is threatening to implement carbon restrictions if the Congress does not pass a law doing that. This from a guy who rides in Air Force One, is chauffered in a five ton limo or rides around in armored SUVs. This is from a guy who has a carbon footprint bigger than his wife's butt. He wants us to ride in some electric car than can only go 50 miles and won't hold your family. This looks a lot like the leadership of the old Soviet Union. No wonder he wants to disarm us all!!!

Hypocrites??

Yesterday, while Joe Biden met with the NRA and other gun ownership, President Obama signed into law a bill giving him, George W. Bush and future former presidents lifetime Secret Service protection. The law also covers spouses of the presidents.

Let's make sure that I have this correct. The Obama administration is deciding how can they can limit my right to protect myself while they give themselves lifetime protection for which I pay.

 This is sounding more like the Soviet Union every day. We have established a "ruling class" that gets everything while the rest of us struggle to survive. In the movie "Enemy at the Gates" there is a great scene where Kruschev explains this concept and how it works to a young commissar.

This reminds me of an incident several years ago. I was talking to the Guilford County Manager and I was voicing complaints about having to go through security checks just to get into the courthouse. I told him that all of these security measures were the result of government officials asking the wrong question. They are asking, "How can we keep people from coming down here and hurting us?" They should be asking, "What are we doing here that is pissing people off so badly that they want to come down here and hurt us?"

In recent memory there has only been one president to end his Secret Service protection. Surely, if Richard Nixon could do without it, anyone can.

I won't bother getting into the lifetime pension issue for all of those crooks at this time. I'll save that for another day. In the meantime think about why we should pay Nancy Pelosi for the rest of her life.