Sunday, November 09, 2014

Presbytery Stuff

I attended the quarterly meeting of the Salem Presbytery today. I got a crash course in why mainline denominations are failing. Bar none, it was the most disappointing moment in my spiritual journey through life. I would not recommend it to anyone. The anger will subside in a few days but I doubt that the disappointment will fade.
Zig Ziglar said it best, "I think that anyone who says, "It's not the money." will lie about other things as well."

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Gay marriage??

As the runaway train that is gay marriage runs rampant through the federal court system, I feel like all is lost. Why do all these gay people want to get married? Do they long to pay child support and alimony? Do they lust to share their property and possessions with someone when it doesn't work out??

Have we lost our sense of right and wrong?? Does a vocal minority make it right?? How many of you want your child to come home and say, "Hey, did I mention that I was gay?"

I am sorry, but I come from a world where homosexuality is wrong. Don't waste your time telling me that it is natural. It will be natural as soon as a man gives birth by popping a baby out his ass.

I have worked with thousands of homosexuals over the many years in the food service business. I like and/or dislike them at about the same rate that I detest the general population.

If you ask gay men what causes homosexuality, most tell you that they were born that way. If you ask lesbians the same question, they tell you that women are more nurturing and they have better relationships with them.Apparently, I am in the diminishing number of men who just want to be men.

If pedophilia grows in popularity as quickly as homosexuality, Jerry Sandusky will be out of prison and operating a chain of daycare centers before I retire.

I going to go vomit, I will finish this rant another day.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Racism??

The NBA has banished Donald Sterling, owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, from the NBA for life for making racist statements. He was also fined $2.5 million for his statements. The statements were made to a former girlfriend on the phone and not publicly made.

In contrast yesterday, Larry Johnson of the New York Knicks made a public statement telling people that black players needed to form their own league with all black players and black owners. There has been no announcement from the NBA about any punishment for Mr. Johnson.

Note to the NBA: You don't have to be an old white guy to be a racist. You can be a young black guy and be a racist.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

You can fight City Hall!

A friend of mine, known only as The Queen, has triumphed in her battle against the Greensboro City Hall.

The struggle began a few months ago when a contractor began work on an addition to The Queen's home, The Palace.  Several years ago, The Queen had an old tool house replaced by a new garage. The Palace was connected with the garage by a passageway so The Queen would not have to brave the elements to reach her car. All of the plans were approved by the City of Greensboro and a building permit was issued. All phases of construction were inspected by city inspectors and approved. The garage has been in use since that time.

A few months ago, as construction began on her new addition, The Queen was cited by the city for having her garage built too close to the property line and having it attached to her home. She was required to appear before the Board of Adjustment for a hearing.

The Queen insisted that construction had followed the plan approved by the city. The city had required that the new garage stay within the footprint of the tool house that was in that spot before and was torn down to build the garage. She had copies of the plans and permits to support her case. All of the construction had been inspected and passed by the city.

The first hearing was cancelled due to the fact that a majority of board members were sick and unable to attend. Despite the fact that this was known before the hearing, The Queen was compelled to attend so that it could be formally announced at the meeting that there was no quorum. What a waste of time.

Before the second hearing, The Queen received a letter from the Board asking that she bring the sign from her yard that the city had placed there. If I were in her place, I would have returned the sign and offered suggestions on where to put it. I know that she didn't do that because I am her profanity expert and she didn't contact me.

At the hearing the other night. it took only a few minutes to realize that it was the city's fault and not The Queen's problem. The issue was dismissed. The City of Greensboro had authorized the construction, inspected and approved the work, and approved the completed project. Who else could have been in the wrong?

In the end, you can fight City Hall and win. Thanks to The Queen for showing us all how it can be done.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Alice at 18 Months


Fathers Day??

This Sunday is Fathers Day. There aren't many holidays that I dread more than Fathers Day.

My father died more than forty years ago. He and my mother divorced when I was five or six. I only saw him a few times after that. He was a hard working man. I guess that I may have inherited that quality. He was also a heavy smoker and an alcoholic. Alcohol destroyed his life and in the end it caused his death. I have already lived twenty years longer than he did.

Did my father influence my life in the few short years that I knew him? Of course he did. He was a heavy smoker. I have never smoked anything. That's no cigarettes, no cigars, no pipes, no pot. He was an alcoholic. I have had less than twenty drinks in my life, the last one in 1975. I have never had a beer. I march to the tune of my own drum and it's playing "Don't take a chance with that".

We live in a society today where single mothers are raising a lot of our children. This doesn't work and never will work. The role of men has been reduced in many cases to that of "sperm donor". Sometimes that decision is made by irresponsible men and sometimes it is made by women who think that single parent families are the norm.

Vernon Robinson, perennial political candidate in this area, has been preaching on this subject for years. He strongly believes that the biggest problem facing America is the destruction of the family unit. A lot of this is due to government programs that encourage single parent families. Before you waste your time arguing with this, I will remind you that the first rule in modifying human behavior is this: Any activity that you reward, you reinforce.

I would ask my sons about their opinions of Fathers Day, but I will wait to open the gifts first. HA!!!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Redneck Crazy???

Yes, I know that I haven't posted in months. Sorry, but between starting a new job and everything else associated with getting older, I just haven't been able to hack out any thoughts.

A few weeks ago, I was listening to the radio as I drove. A song came on that hit a nerve. I called my older son and asked, "Hey, have you heard "Redneck Crazy" by Tyler Farr?" He had not. I told him, "Been there, done that, bought all of the t-shirts." He just laughed.

A few days later, he and his family came to our house for dinner. As soon as they arrived, he used my laptop to bring up the video of "Redneck Crazy".  It stars the guys from "Duck Dynasty", whatever that may be. The video is funny.

So here's my "Redneck Crazy" story. It was New Year's Eve, 1977. It was 6:23 when the phone rang at my apartment. It was my girlfriend of almost three years. She started rambling about something and talked a few minutes before I said, "Honey, I'm supposed to pick you up at 7:00. What are you trying to tell me?" She replied, "I think that we need to date other people." I responded,"When should we start this?" She said, "I have a date for tonight."

To this day, more than 35 years later, that moment remains my definition of "blind rage". After about three hours, I was calm enough to drive. I went out and ate dinner. After dinner, I rode by the house that she shared with her sister. Parked in front of the house was a Ford truck that I recognized as belonging to a guy who was a regular customer at the restaurant she managed.

I am not a man prone to physical violence so I ruled out destroying the truck with a sledge hammer or by burning it. I did have a plan B. I went home and got a few tools. I went back and removed the tires and wheels and left the truck sitting on the ground. I put the wheels into the bed of the truck. I wanted to make sure that they realized that this was not just some random act of vandalism, so I removed the valve cores from the valve stems on the tires. I duct taped those to the windshield. I headed home.

At home, I gathered up all of her things that were at my apartment and placed them outside by the door. I then went to bed and slept the contented sleep of a satisfied crazed man. My sleep was interrupted by a call at 2:30 A.M. which started with a woman screaming, "Gil Jones, you son of a bitch!!". I replied, "Mary, whatever are you talking about?" The conversation spiraled downhill pretty quickly and ended with her slamming the phone down.

YEP!!! "Redneck Crazy", thirty five years before the song. Art imitates life.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Thursday Thoughts

The news is filled with stories about budget cuts coming from the federal government. Is there anyone with more than a room temperature IQ who doesn't think that they spend too much??

To end the argument about how much damage a 5% budget will do to the economy, I will invoke Jones' rule of circumcision. You can take 10% off of anything and it will still work.

How did it cost the taxpayers for Michele Obama to appear on the Academy Awards show to present an Oscar the other night?

Today is National Tooth Fairy Day. There's some information that you can't get everywhere!

Tried working the ##@@**## Sudoku puzzle again. The News & Record has changed sources on their Sudoku puzzle. It hasn't made any difference to me. I stil can't solve it.

College basketball peaks this month. March Madness will soon be in full swing. Someone wake me when it's over.

I received a picture of Alice (my granddaughter) today. The caption read, "Walking and drinking water at the same time." That's great!! I still can't do that.