Atypical Tuesday Topics

 Why do people buy jeans that are already torn?  I just don't understand this. Do they buy new cars that are already dented and scratched?

Why is everyone more worried about politics in Qatar than they are about the World Cup Games being played there? It's the World Cup, shouldn't it be played at different places around the world? It's not like the poorly named "World Series" that has never been played anywhere but the United States and Canada.

I saw a statistic showing that the United States is the most tattooed nation in the world. At the Waffle House fifty years ago, I worked with a woman named Jackie who had an abundance of tattoos. She also rode with a "club" of bikers. In 1972, she was a one woman freak show. Today, no one would even notice. 

Maybe I am onto something with this tattoo thing. What if the reason that so many kids can't read is that they are spending all of their time trying to understand what their parents have had written all over themselves? Maybe a line of early reading books based on stupid tattoos would help. They could also study foreign languages by learning the alleged Chinese symbols that adorn their parents' bodies. If in fact, they are actually Chinese symbols and/or have any real meaning.

The United States and scores of other countries attended the 1936 Olympics in Berlin. We really showed Hitler how to behave in the world community there, didn't we? Adolf was left with nothing to do but start a Holocaust and a pretty good-sized war.  Qatar trembles at the sight of the American news media approaching.

The Democrats did much better than expected in the 2022 elections. Of course, that was after 26 million newly minted Biden supporters signed up for their $10,000 to $20,000 payoff from the taxpayers. Now these same voters are stunned that this payoff is being held up in federal court. In the old days, we jailed people for giving or taking bribes.

Biden keeps talking about limiting profits by oil companies, but nothing about profits made by universities. Maybe oil companies should change their terminology from "earnings" to "endowments". It works for Harvard. 

Does anyone really care about Brittney Griner doing time in Russia? In the District of Columbia people remain in jail charged with misdemeanors from January 6, 2021. Is Biden going to get them released? Maybe all of the television networks could "educate" Brittney and her supporters by showing "Midnight Express"? Does life imitate art?

HBO will be broadcasting a movie about Nancy Pelosi in December that was filmed by her daughter. I guess that rules out the slightest possibility of bias in this production. Just another thing that makes me grateful that I don't have cable TV.  HBO is paying big money to broadcast home movies of the Pelosi family. As a child, my role in our family was to fake a seizure when we were at anyone's home, and they mentioned showing "home movies". I am grown now; I will just stay away from the TV in December.

How many billions of dollars are we sending to Ukraine this week? How is the war over there going? We don't really know because all of our news is coming from one side. We are starting just like we did in Vietnam. We have "advisors" over there to train Ukrainians how to use the expensive equipment that we are giving them. Given that US missile that landed in Poland recently, we might need to raise that learning curve. There will soon be some kind of "attack" on American forces in the area to justify another massive military buildup. Are we still funding those medical labs in Ukraine that everyone in the media is ignoring? Maybe Fauci is heading over there, and this retirement thing is a fraud. I will have to check in with MSNBC or QAnon.

Meaningful and Meaningless Monday Minutiae

 The World Cup is live on television today. WOW!! This is almost as dull as watching the Jan 6 Committee taking turns kissing each other's ass.

Soccer is a sport that needs a shot clock. 

Soccer players like to slide across the grass on their knees after scoring a goal. I have spent the last 69 years trying not to slide on the grass.

The real show in soccer is the fans in the stands. In the five minutes that I watched today I had to remind myself about a dozen times that "fan" is short for fanatic.

Lots of people are angry that beer is not being sold at the World Cup. Look at those loons in the stands and tell me why we would even consider adding alcohol to that mix. Reminds me a little of the old Andy Capp comic strip.

In July of 1986 there was a column in the sports section of the local paper that was good enough that I clipped it out and saved it. I dragged it out of a file cabinet 36 years later this morning so that I could share it during the World Cup. It was written by Scott Ostler of the LA Times. At age 75 Scott still writes, but now for the San Francisco Chronicle. 

Here's the best line of the column, "Soccer? You have to wonder about any sport where the worldwide goal total is regularly exceeded by the body count. If racing is the sport of kings, soccer spectating is the sport of coroners." Remember that the next time somebody claims they need beer to be sold in the stands at the World Cup.

From the "There's a sucker born every minute" file, this pearl. The University of Nebraska has hired Matt Rhule who was fired by the Carolina Panthers a few weeks ago. They are actually paying him as much, if not a little more, than Carolina was paying him. Maybe Congress needs to form a select committee to study this whole practice.

Joe Biden now wants to ban semi-automatic weapons. A couple of weeks ago he wanted to ban "assault weapons". No one is sure exactly what Joe wants to ban, other than banning people who don't vote Democratic. His lead liar, KJP, has not yet tried to clarify exactly what Sleepy Joe meant to say. Maybe Jill has not decided yet about what Joe meant? 

After removing Republicans from Congressional Committees, Democrats are now claiming that they can't be removed from committees when Republicans take power in a few weeks.

Ever wondered what happened to the "ruby slippers" from the Wizard of Oz? Donald Trump bought them at an auction. The Wicked Witch, Hillary Clinton, keeps trying to get them away from Trump but her magic is not strong enough. While Hillary and her army of flying monkeys try to get the ruby slippers from Trump, other Republicans are going to take the New Republican Party on to better things. Meanwhile, Hillary continues to deny that there is "powerful magic" in those slippers. What does Hillary know?  I heard that Monica Lewinsky wore those slippers, but maybe on her knees.

Jones, Jones and Jones

 Yes, these are comments about or by people named Jones.

If you have ever read that block to the right of this post, you know that my last name is Jones. Before you get too comfortable with that tidbit of information, I must confess that my last name was not Jones at birth. I am a Jones kind of like my hero John Paul Jones was a Jones. It was not his name at birth, either.

Before you go chasing Wikipedia or other bogus sources about Johny Paul's reason to change his name, rest assured that I never killed any sailor leading a mutiny. However, I did beat the hell out of a dishwasher who attacked me one morning. But that's a story for another post.

What inspired all of the Jones stuff? My new hero, Jerry Jones. I don't like Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys. I used to be a Dallas Cowboys fan until Jones bought the team. Then I realized that I was actually a Roger Staubach fan and a Tom Landry fan. I haven't watched a Cowboy's game since then. 

However, this week I developed a tolerance and almost a liking for Jerry Jones. A story came out that Jerry Jones was photographed in a crowd of people in a Little Rock high school during the integration of public schools there. Jones is merely standing in the crowd. He has no rifle, no stick, no flaming torch in his hands. He has no sign or Confederate battle flag. None of this is stopping the usual crowd of loons from attacking him. This event was about 65 years ago. In the last 65 years, no one has asked Jerry why he was there. At this point, what difference does it make? Hillary Clinton used that line, maybe it will work for Jerry. 

Jones, at this point refuses to say anything else other than to affirm that was him in the photo of students at his school. This was back in the era when we had to actually attend school. We didn't have "remote learning", which is a half-truth. It's remote, but nobody is learning.

Did any reporter interview Jerry Jones that day in Little Rock? If they did, they didn't write a story. So, all the leftist loons are upset that Jerry Jones is pictured in a group at the school he attended. Maybe he was trying to find out what was happening. Maybe he was just gathering data to make his own decision on the issue. Maybe he was headed to the restroom to sneak a smoke. Does anyone without a (D) by their name even care?

Leftists think that Jones is a racist based on that photo. Let's put this into perspective. On the day that Martin Luther King was killed at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, there were photos taken that pictured Jesse Jackson on that balcony with MLK.  Was Jackson involved with and an accessory to the assassination of King? That would be a stupid question, just like asking if Jones was involved with demonstrations in Little Rock, is a stupid question. Yet, "reporters" keep questioning Jones.

There are pictures of several people on the "grassy knoll" in Dallas the day that JFK was killed? Did any of them face abuse from the media about that? How about the thousands who stood along the parade route? Has the media questioned all of them? Was Jones on the grassy knoll? Was Lyndon Johnson on the grassy knoll?

Several years ago, Chic-Fil-A ended donations to the Salvation Army to appease LGBTQ activists. Jerry Jones may be an arrogant, pompous ass but he supports the Salvation Army. If you saw the Thanksgiving Day Cowboys game, you saw the huge red kettles in the end zone. For all of his faults, Jones is a big supporter of the Salvation Army. The Salvation Army helps many of the people that liberals claim to be concerned about.  How many of the writers penning trash about Jones in high school will we find out ringing the bell at a red kettle? My guess is less than one. 

I'm with Jerry Jones on this one. I will pay a compliment here to the first reporter who writes a good story about Jones and the Salvation Army. I am not worried about that happening this year.

Black Friday?

 I spent more than fifty years on Black Fridays feeding shoppers on the day after Thanksgiving. Over the last ten years online shopping has caused a slowdown in store traffic on Black Friday. 

How badly behaved were shoppers in the "old days"? At the Zayre store in Greensboro on Black Friday in 1983, they broke down the front doors to get "Cabbage Patch Kids" dolls.  I guess those shoppers didn't understand the term "doorbusters" or maybe they did.

On Black Friday in 1976, after spending the morning shift slopping the shoppers coming by the Waffle House, I bought a Crock Pot at Penney's for $9.99. They were a new item at that time. I kept that Crock Pot for twenty years. Fifty cents a year, what a deal!!

In the days when Sears still had customers, we opened Tex & Shirley's at 6:00 AM and I still had time to walk across the street to Sears and get the tools that were on sale before we got busy. I save a lot of money by staying home on Black Fridays now.

However, traditions die hard, so now in the middle of Black Friday afternoon, I am going to Harbor Freight and Lowes just to see if something that "I need" is on sale. I didn't say that I saved all of my money.

The Army-Navy football game used to be the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Now it is about two weeks later. I am sure that it has something to do with television networks.

In my high school days, one year I ate three separate Thanksgiving dinners on Thanksgiving Day. I can't do that anymore and still walk. That and I never get any invitations to dinner. 

I do miss the old Waffle House days on Thanksgiving. Traditionally, someone who had the day off would invite all of us over to their house for Thanksgiving dinner. It usually took about three hours to eat dinner and talk about the Thanksgiving Day customers. Black Friday was actually a much more enjoyable day at the Waffle House. After the shift ended, we sat around the stock room, ate pumpkin pie and talked about rude and/or stupid customers who had visited us that day. I am always surprised that there are not more assaults on Black Friday.

Cyber Monday? What do you do? Get together and talk about sites you visited due to a missed keystroke? Getting up at 6:00 and turning on the computer doesn't rival meeting your friends at the Waffle House or Tex & Shirley's to fuel up before hitting the stores or recover after hitting the mall. There aren't a lot of good stories that involve online shopping. It's not like being in a mob fighting over the last Cabbage Patch Kid. That one could last a lifetime.  Free shipping on a socket set doesn't rival being the guy who grabbed the last Craftsman socket set off the table at Sears. Nobody shows off their $5.99 blender from Amazon. There are just some things that technology does not make better.

Hope you had a great Black Friday. Time for me to go to Harbor Freight and Lowes.

Sinners for Herschel

 I spent the last six days in historic Moultrie, Georgia for the Moultrie Auto Swap Meet. I sold lots of "stuff" and had a good time at the show. What was the downside? You could not turn on the radio or the television without being overwhelmed with advertisements about the U.S. Senate runoff between Walker and Warnock.

The alleged Rev. Raphael Warnock's ads are not really ads about issues, but ads that are character assassination attempts on Herschel Walker. I am left to assume that "Reverend" is merely an honorary title for Mr. Warnock.  

My research showed that Mr. Warnock graduated from Union Theological Seminary in New York City. For those not familiar with Union Theological Seminary, it is the American birthplace for absurd theologies. Union Theological is where crackpot theologies go to be cultivated into leftist standards. There are many among us who believe that Union Theological has no basis in actual Christianity. But maybe that's just me.

To listen to the alleged Reverend, speak about Herschel Walker, one can logically assume that Warnock has no grasp of basic Christianity tenets such as redemption and forgiveness. One is left to assume that Warnock is the lead pastor at the Church of the Pharisees. What denomination favors the spreading of rumors, innuendos and half-truths? 

Warnock claims that Walker paid for a girlfriend to get an abortion several years ago. As Warnock supports the rights of women to get abortions, I am not quite sure what the issue is. Is for a man to pay for it wrong? Is it only wrong because Walker is a black Republican running against Warnock? Is it wrong for Walker to change his position on abortion? Is Walker the first politician in history to change a position? Has Warnock ever changed his position on anything?

If the leadership of Mr. Warnock's church had any courage, they would dismiss him from his position as their pastor. By keeping him, they are allying themselves with his attacks on Walker. I don't want any part of their version of Christianity.

What should Walker do? He needs to make a commercial where he tells people, "If you have never done anything wrong, vote for Warnock. If you have never done something that you don't want to watch on the six o'clock news, vote for Warnock. If you have never made a mistake, vote for Warnock. But if you aren't perfect and are trying to do better, I'm your guy. I am trying to do better for the people of Georgia. Warnock believes that he has never made a mistake, so he can't do any better. Give me a chance."

I am thinking of forming a Political Action Committee, "Sinners for Herschel". In you are a sinner in Georgia, vote for Walker. Send the alleged Reverend back to Sunday School.

Eyewitless Wednesday

 People who support abortion, (murder if we are being honest) claim that we do not know when life begins. That's bullshit, of course. But if you really don't know when life begins, how do you know when life ends? Are you going to wait for old people to actually die or are you going to kill us when we start to be a hindrance in your busy life? Trust me on this. Old people want to know.

Before computers were in everyone's pockets, we usually had election results by the next day. This leads me to believe that there are other factors involved in the vote reporting process. Any of you lying, stealing election supervisors want to talk about this?

Our newest Supreme Court Justice claims that she can't define what a woman is. So logically she should recuse herself from any case dealing with a woman's rights since she doesn't know what a woman is. At least the old singing Supremes knew what women were.

Biden doing his usual unbelievable job representing us overseas at a conference. He can't read a teleprompter in Asia any better than he can at the White House. Maybe he will wander out of Air Force One at about 35,000 feet. It's only a dream. I am sure they have someone assigned to keep him from wandering off the plane. 

Liberals are always telling that "marginalized" groups like blacks and women need special treatment and more understanding. Of course, all of that goes out the window when a black or a woman runs as a Republican.

Some deep thinker on television said that all of these election issues reinforce the need for the federal government to take over running the election process.  Yeah, they are doing so well with everything else.

I saw a story about Baltimore City Schools on the news the other day. They are being sued because they are not actually educating students. Apparently, it involves at least one young man who has only passed three classes in his high school years but is ranked in the top half of his class. Before placing all of the blame on the schools, this blast from the past. My older son attended Ballinger Academy in Greensboro for two years. In the Parent-Student handbook was this note. "Education at Ballinger is not a spectator sport. We expect parents to be involved." 

Since Ben Crump, noted civil rights attorney, is involved in this case with Baltimore Schools, race is obviously an issue. Memo to Mr. Crump and all of his followers in this case. You cannot reap where you have not sown. Education is not important to your children because it is not important to you. As an example, in Greensboro there is a library directly across the street from a large city recreation center. I have driven by there hundreds of times. While I always see people at the recreation center, I have never seen anyone entering or leaving the library. When did you last take your children to the library?  How about to a sports event? When readers get the same attention as ball players, we will be making progress in education.

In my "Stuff for Sale" enterprise, I sell a lot of old Life magazines. I also sell other old magazines, like the Saturday Evening Post and Popular Mechanics. All of these make for great reading and insights into the past that are sometimes omitted from history books. An August 1, 1959, Post yielded this gem of a story, "Can Castro Save Cuba?"  A Post Editor had traveled to Cuba and into the backcountry to meet Castro. Spoiler Alert!! It's not the history we are told today. What's the moral of this story? Zelensky. We think we know him. We don't.

Having taken my obligatory shot at our Ukraine policy, that's all folks!!

For everything there is a season

"For everything there is a season," Ecclesiastes 3

"You've got to know when to hold 'em  Know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away And know when to run."   Kenny Rogers "The Gambler"

It's time for Donald Trump to walk away. I voted for Trump in 2016 and 2020 and it pains me to say this, but it is time for Trump to walk away and let the dust settle. The season of Trump is over.

The Republican Party has been transformed by Trump's candidacy. This is no longer the GOP of Mitch McConnell and the Bush family. This is the people's Republican Party. This is not the "Country Club Republicans", this is the "Home Depot Republicans". This is the party of people out working every day to provide for their families. This is the party that wants to leave the world a better place for our children. This is NOT the party that seeks to divide the world and conquer.

Donald Trump brought these people together to bring a change to our government. Trump, like our founders, wants a government of the people, by the people and for the people. 

Trump did a great job as President. He cut taxes, got the economy moving and kept us out of a war. I think that the onset of COVID was not his fault but failing to fire Fauci and other bureaucrats probably cost him the election in 2020.

Change comes slowly to an entrenched bureaucracy. Only wet babies appreciate change. The liberals who control the bureaucracy don't want to change anything. They don't want to give up their power.

Trump Derangement Syndrome is a real mental disorder. The Left hated Trump before he ever took office. He didn't have to do anything as President to enrage them. The Leftist Media (which is redundant) has been attacking Trump since the day that he announced in 2015. There are television networks that will go broke without Trump to kick around. You can kiss MSNBC (Mostly Shit Nothing But Communists) goodbye.

The media is always ripping Trump for being an egomaniac. Did they ever meet Obama? Have they listened to Joe "Nobody fucks with a Biden" Biden? How about George W. Bush and his quest for revenge on Osama Bin Laden? Bill Clinton? It's safe to say that getting blowjobs from a young intern in the Oval Office is an ego thing.

In regard to Trump's candidacy, there is another issue that must be confronted. In 2024 he will be 78 years old. Ronald Reagan was attacked for being old when he ran for President, and he was 69 at the time. After serving two terms, he left at age 77. Biden was 78 when he was sworn in. How's that working for us?

Trump is a lightning rod. He needs to just lay low and wait for the storm to end. Without the media fanning the flames, his life will improve. Nixon lived long enough for people to realize that he wasn't the guy portrayed by the left.

It's time for Trump to hand over the reins and let some younger folks take the Republican Party on to success. Thomas Jefferson authored the Declaration of Independence, but he let Washington, Hamilton and others go fight the war.

DeSantis/Haley in 2024!!

Monday Morning Moans and Groans

 How do we get results of governor and U.S. Senate races but don't get results of U.S. House races all in the same state? Aren't they on the same ballot? Are they just counting one race at a time? This is why people don't believe in election results. 

Sen. Ed Markey told Elon Musk, "Fix your companies. Or Congress will."  That's pretty big talk for an election denier whose business experience consists of driving a Hood's ice cream truck while in college and operating his law practice for a few years before going to Congress.

In 2004, "Eddie the ice cream man" Markey voted against recognizing Ohio's electoral votes that George W. Bush had won. Why isn't the news media labeling Markey as an "election denier"?

Lots of headlines about election deniers losing big races, but I can't find any about Stacy Abrams losing to Brian Kemp that call her an election denier. Apparently, liberals like Abrams, Hillary Clinton and Al Gore can question elections at will. Meanwhile, only Republicans are attacked as election deniers. Liberals are fact deniers.

Jim Irsay, owner of the Indianapolis Colts, is being blasted for hiring a former player as interim head coach. The new coach has no college or NFL coaching experience. All of the outrage makes it sound like professional football is about to lose its sterling reputation. Meanwhile, the rookie coach won his first game today against the Raiders. Maybe it's not as complicated as they think.

The NFL should lose all of their racism slogans and signs on the field and their uniforms and just play football. Since I don't really watch the NFL, I don't know if they are still playing the "black national anthem" at games. Maybe they should just play "Send in the Clowns" before a game?

One of the NFL helmet slogans is "Choose Love". Pretty catchy slogan for an event where people hit each other and slam each other to the ground. My other favorite is "It takes all of us". They left off the "to utter a complete sentence" part. 

People who think that mail ballots are a good idea, and a safe practice, are doing time in another dimension. Maybe in their world, the Postal Service is famous for never losing anything or delivering something to the wrong address, but here in the real world, it happens thousands of times every day. 

I have said it before, but until the IRS starts taking tax returns and payments at ballot drop boxes, I won't believe that they are secure.

In the third most populous state in the Union, the Republican incumbent defeated his Democratic challenger by 1.5 million votes. The Democrat lost by almost 20 percentage points. I doubt that even MSNBC can convince Charlie Crist that there was no "red tsunami".

In Las Vegas, you drop your money into a slot machine and in seconds you know if you have won. Go into a voting booth and fill out your ballot and it takes a week to know who won. Nevada ranked 32nd state in population, first in dragging out election results. It cuts down on the number of election deniers by the number of old people who die waiting on the results.

In Oregon, they have just passed a bunch of new gun control laws to reduce violence. Over the last few years, they have legalized the personal possession of most previously illegal drugs. Even the slow among us understand what the real problem is. Let's just let California, Oregon and Washington secede and form their own paradise. Build a border wall out there!

Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of "Free Shit"

 Every two years in the United States we go through the process of congressional elections. This is usually accompanied by a surge in "free shit" that the government tries to give people in exchange for their votes.

This year just in time for the election, there has been a bumper crop of "free shit" available for harvest by voters. 

They started with Social Security payments, which the White House proclaimed were going to be the largest percentage increase in forty years. Of course, the Presidential Press Moron, Karine Jean-Pierre, neglected to mention that the increase was the largest, because this year saw the biggest increase in the cost of living. KJP is simply not fluent in facts. But she works for Joe Biden who isn't fluent in any language, other than lying.

Joe Biden then decided to empty the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to keep the price of gasoline down a little. What no one in government wants to talk about is what it will cost to refill the Strategic Reserve with crude oil prices approaching record heights. We are emptying a reserve we bought at $30 a barrel to refill it with $90 a barrel oil. I'm not good with math, but this sounds like a stupid idea. Of course, stupid comes naturally to Biden.   Biden knows that he is "through in two", so he isn't worried about that. He reminds me of the old Alfred E. Neuman in Mad magazine, "What, me worry?"

If you had to Google Alfred E. Neuman, don't feel bad. In 2019 Trump called Pete Buttigieg, Alfred E. Neuman. Buttigieg had to Google it. At least Alfred didn't have a husband.

Then we come to the grandaddy of "Free Shit". Yes, I am talking about student loan forgiveness. Slow Joe wants to forgive either $10,000 or $20,000 per borrower based on whether you got a Pell grant. As of this writing almost 26 million people have applied for this giveaway. Where will the hundreds of billions of dollars required for this boondoggle be found? This is not a forgiveness of anything. This is a transfer of a debt from the dumbasses who took on the debt to the taxpayers who had no control of it. This plan will probably remain in the court system until 2024 when a liberal judge will approve it in time for the 2024 election. 

Basically, American taxpayers are being forced to pay for people to play in college. Let's face it. How many gender studies majors do we need? How can that even be a class? A slide show, a couple of dummies, and 15 minutes should be enough to explain all of the facts about the two genders. It can't take four years! How about a study of college grads comparing what they studied compared to what they are doing now? I am guessing than 10 years after graduation less than ten per cent of graduates are working in the field they studied. How many liberal arts majors do we need? Just for the record, I have hired several liberal arts grads as waiters and waitresses and a few bartenders. Who knew??

This is all in addition to the free groceries, free rent, free medical care, and free childcare that we give away to the less fortunate and to the lazy. These things are all made possible by taxes paid by those who pay for their own groceries, gas, utilities, childcare, rent, and medical care. 

There are two classes in America, givers and takers. I have given up waiting on a "Thank You" note from the takers. It's time to rip off the training wheels and let them make it on their own, I am with Rick Scott. It's time that everyone pays some income taxes. I believe that the correct expression is "Everyone needs some skin in the game".

A couple of personal notes here. When I was growing up in Tampa, our congressman was Sam Gibbons. Sam was a nice guy and I met him a couple of times. Of course, one time was at the Waffle House, but regular readers would have guessed that. Sam was in the airborne assault on Normandy on D-Day. But when it came to politics, Sam was a Democrat. I was in my early twenties before I realized why my conservative neighbor always referred to him as "Giveaway Gibbons". Suddenly it all made sense. 

Last take on "Free Shit". My ancestors came to this land in the late 1600's and the early 1700's. They didn't come for government housing and food stamps. There is a concept that we need to go back to, soon.

Friday Night Fever

While they are still learning to count in Arizona and Nevada, here a few reflections on elections and some random shots.

 Kamala Harris, First Lady Jill "Puppet Master" Biden, and Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff were at Arlington Cemetery today for Veterans Day wreath laying ceremony. Kamala Harris? Really? Was Ronald McDonald busy? Was Tulsi Gabbard too patriotic? Did they sedate Kamala beforehand to prevent her from cackling during the ceremony? At least Dr. Biden didn't have to help Harris find her away from the wreath after the ceremony ended. The title "Second Gentleman" somehow implies that somewhere in D.C. there is a "First Gentleman". I don't think that is possible in Washington. How much of a gentleman can you be married to Kamala?

After today's hurricane/ tropical storm/tropical depression the television news featured buildings and homes on the beach near Daytona near collapse. In Matthew 7 we can read that "the foolish man builds his house on sand." Apparently, architects and engineers aren't Biblical scholars. Having just been re-elected, DeSantis doesn't need to worry about Democrats attacking him over the hurricane. Their supporters don't have the memory capacity to keep any thoughts until the next election cycle.

The election of John Fetterman is a case for ending early voting. Just in case someone saw him in the debate with Dr. Oz and still voted for him, it's a case for voter IQ tests. His Brazilian wife Gisele said last month, "Historically, swimming in America has been very racist." It will be a long six years for those schmucks in Pennsylvania who voted for Fetterman. Fetterman can turn Lincoln's Gettysburg Address into a filibuster length speech. You can't expect much from a guy who has never had a real job.

Massachusetts elected the first openly lesbian governor to office. This is a 180 degree turn from the Kennedy boys that they elected. I guess they all have a lot in common anyway, chasing girls.

In Oregon, several counties voted that they want to leave Oregon and become part of Idaho. I don't think that the Constitution is clear on this. It is great to see this happening in that liberal paradise of the Left Coast.

The developer and producer of "The Sledge-o-Matic" died today. Gallagher was a graduate of Plant High School in Tampa and the University of South Florida. He was quite a comedian for a guy with a degree in chemical engineering. If you don't know who Gallagher was, Mr. Google awaits you.

Why do so many stupid guys own sports teams? The Houston Astros just won the World Series. The team General Manager left because he wanted more than a one-year contract. The owner then fired the assistant General Manager. The owner also only gave Dusty Baker, the team manager, a one-year contract. It's easier finding a job right after you are fired for winning the World Series.

What's the good news today? Biden is out of town and wandering around somewhere in Asia looking for Jill. He probably has the Secret Service out looking for a 12-year-old for him to shower with tonight.

Mr. Wizard explains "Conspiracy Theories"

A headline in The Greensboro News & Record today on a story from the Associated Press proclaimed that "slight hiccups" in the vote counting process is causing right wingers to start conspiracy theories. 

 First, anyone who calls the vote counting process in Arizona and Nevada a "slight hiccup" has never had the hiccups. This is not a hiccup; it's not even a belch, this is a world class cluster f*ck. In Arizona, they are telling us that they will finish by Monday. In Las Vegas they are taking bets on when the state of Nevada will finish counting.

So that the AP will not call me a "conspiracy theorist", let's start with a few facts.

Florida is the third most populous state in the Union. Arizona is ranked 14th in population. Florida had their results on Tuesday night. Arizona's results will be here on Monday. Nevada is ranked #32 in population among states. They still don't have their results either. What's taking so long?

In Maricopa County in Arizona, they ran out of printed ballots at one point. How do you do this? Was this some kind of Democratic Party money saving measure? Inquiring minds, which is everyone other than those schmucks who write for the Associated Press, want to know. Maybe the media gods, who circle the world using only their left wings, can find out and actually report that info to us. The state officials know how many people are registered. All you have to do is make at least that many ballots and add 10% or 20% for a safety margin. I am pretty sure that in the cost of holding a statewide election, copy paper is pretty far down the list of expenses. If you have a bunch left over, send them over to the schools for a civics lesson the day after the election.

In our county, I had a "hiccup" when I went to vote on Tuesday. The county marks off the area where there is no electioneering allowed. As my wife and I entered the area, a Democrat approached and handed me some brochures and implored us to vote for the leftist bastard Democrats that he was supporting. He may have described them a little differently than I did, but you have the picture. When my wife and I got back home, I told her that I was going to call the Elections office and complain about this violation. She told me not to bother.  She had seen the sheriff's deputy providing security at the polling place, go over to the gentleman in question and escort him off of the lot. If I had called the Associated Press, I could have been labeled a conspiracy theorist or an election denier. Missed my chance for glory!!

I don't want the federal government to run the elections process. First, that's unconstitutional. That's the state legislature's job. Second, everything the federal government touches turns to shit. So, let's wake up our state governments and let them know that in the age of high technology, six days is five days more than we should have to wait for election results.

In closing, here's a couple of pointers for the News & Record and the Associated Press. First, if you don't want people spreading "conspiracy theories", try spreading some facts. Maybe you could study the difference in processes in Florida from those in Arizona. Even better, you could explain why Florida had their U.S. Senate race settled on Tuesday and Nevada (ranked #32 in population) still doesn't have their ballots counted. Second, the people who read your swill are the ones paying you for it. Who ridicules their customers and expects their business to remain alive?  Maybe bankruptcy will just be a hiccup for you?

Free Thought Friday 11.4

 I stole this one from Lee Zeldin and modified it a little. Don't forget to change your clocks on Sunday and your elected officials on Tuesday!!

On Thursday Biden said that we are going to "free Iran".  How many American hostages will that involve Joe?? At least he didn't claim that his son Beau died there.

Oprah Winfrey endorsed Uncle Fester for the Pennsylvania Senate seat. Maybe she can get Dr. Phil to work with him. Wait! I forgot that Dr. Phil hasn't had a license since 2006. Phil can't help him. How's that working for you, Fester?

Millions of Powerball tickets are sold every day. After the drawing, it only takes a few hours to find out if there are winners. In some states it takes a week to see who won an election. Move the people from the lottery over to the Board of Elections.

The Paul Pelosi story seems to change with the 24-hour news cycle. Today's version is that Paul and his "friend" were standing in the foyer when the police arrived. Paul opened the door with his left hand while holding on to the hammer with his right hand. The police are a few feet away. Why didn't Paul just run to the police? Was he afraid that they were going to beat him?

This story grows more bizarre by the day. Democrats complain that people are circulating all kinds of conspiracy theories that are slandering Pelosi. Why don't the authorities release some actual facts to quiet the rumors? How about some security camera video or police bodycam videos?

The press describes the Nut Roll as espousing conservative beliefs. This guy was in the Green Party. He had a Black Lives Matter sign. He was a nudist activist. If he actually was a conservative nudist activist supporting Black Lives Matter, he's the only one in the state, maybe the nation.

The Pelosis live in one of the more expensive neighborhoods in San Francisco. Yet in an expensive neighborhood in a city racked by crime, there is no security camera footage of this guy walking to the Pelosi house. Are you telling me that none of those neighbors have security systems with cameras? The Capitol Police have cameras but didn't bother to monitor them. Did they not learn anything on January 6? I read that someone has set up a GoFundMe page to buy the Pelosi family one of those Ring Doorbell things. Of course, the claim is that Nut Roll didn't use the front door.

Here's something not discussed. How did Wing Nut get to the Pelosi neighborhood? Bus, cable car, Uber, or did he walk? Did anyone see him traveling to the scene of the clash?

Several news "sources" reported that the police found two more hammers and a sword at wherever Nut Roll calls home. People seem to be stunned that he had more than one hammer. I would hazard a guess that I have more than forty hammers in my tools. You don't even want to know how many swords I have.

Memo to morons in charge, if you don't want people speculating on what happened, try releasing some facts. If you need someone to define "facts", you know how to reach me.

Thank God that Biden gave us one final speech on saving the nation from Republicans the other night. My favorite thing is when Biden claims that if the Republicans control Congress, they "will crash the economy." Given that the economy already looks like a demolition derby, I am not at all worried that someone else would do worse than Biden.

If the Democrats' Inflation Reduction Act (IRA) is destroying the value of your IRA (Individual Retirement Account), get your ass to the polls on Tuesday and vote.

I am not enough of a masochist to actually watch an entire Biden speech, but even just watching the highlights or lowlights leaves me confused. Am I one of the Ultra MAGA crowd or am I in the Mega Maga group? I will do something that Dr. Jill doesn't believe in. I am going to stick to the 3 Rs. Yep! I am a Rightwing Redneck Reactionary. Maybe I can be a part-time Ultra MAGA guy?

Get your ass out and vote on Tuesday!!!

Gilbert's Guide to Goober's Gaffes

 The Goober-in-Chief has a national speech planned for tonight on "threats to democracy". How he will do this without talking about the Democratic Party and himself remains a mystery. Inquiring minds don't even exist in the news media, so no one actually cares

On their website Merriam-Webster defines "gaffe" as this: Definition of gaffe

1: a social or diplomatic blunder

2: a noticeable mistake

President Goober is not making gaffes, Goober is telling lies. We have spent the last seven years listening to the "news" media call Donald Trump a "liar". Have you heard or seen anyone in the mainstream media use that term with Goober? Of course not, they are too busy sucking up to report the truth. The media doesn't just kiss Goober's ass, they lick it dry!

The media furloughed all of their "factcheckers" on the day that Goober was inaugurated and won't bring them back until the next Presidential campaign begins.

So, to help you through the next several months, here are a few "gaffes" that are in fact, lies. 

1. Beau Biden died in Iraq. He actually died in Maryland, several years after leaving Iraq. My brother-in-law died last year from cancer caused by Agent Orange exposure. We don't tell people that he died in Vietnam.

2. Goober got an appointment to the Naval Academy after having graduated from a four-year college. No one goes from a four-year college to the Naval Academy.

3. Goober attended an HBCU, Delaware State. He repeated this one the other day. His Press Secretary said that he gets that mixed up with the University of Delaware, which he actually attended. If he only he didn't claim that he attended an HBCU?

4. Goober has often claimed that he graduated in the top half of his class at Syracuse Law School. He graduated 76th in a class of 85. He probably failed math at Delaware or Delaware State. You pick!

5. In a speech recently, Goober claimed that gas was $5 a gallon when he took office. It was actually about $2.39.  Are we back to he failed math at Delaware, Delaware State, or the Naval Academy?

All of these things could be easily verified by the mainstream media, but they won't do that. Why not?

Shoot your television!!