I Love Stupid People Ver 1.26

 To paraphrase "Whispering Bill" Anderson, God must love stupid people, he made so many of them. Here are a few that I have encountered lately.

One day at a flea market during a mask mandate, a neighboring vendor came over and asked if he could borrow my box cutter. I handed it to him. He took off his mask and cut an "X" into the mask. He put the mask back on and put a cigarette through the X into his mouth. He lit up the cigarette and laughed. Then he said, "This way I don't have to take off my mask to smoke."  Rebellious, crazy, or just stupid? I am just not sure on this one.

Here's a common one, people driving down the road by themselves in the car and wearing a mask. I have said it before, this is the kind of person who uses a condom when masturbating.

I interviewed a guy who was 45 minutes late for a 2:00 PM interview appointment. Asked him if he could be at work at 6:00 AM. He said, "I am never late." Yeah, it kind of spiraled downhill from there. I didn't hire him.

People who smoke in their cars but hold the cigarette outside the window when they aren't inhaling. Yeah, it's okay to put smoke in my lungs, but I don't want it in the car.

At some shows I put out a "Free Stuff" box. I also put a sign on it that reads "Limit one item per person per lifetime". Several people a day ask, "Can I have more than one of these?" If you guessed that my answer contains profanity, you are correct.

At a location this week, I put up a "Now Hiring" banner that was eight feet long and three feet high. As I was putting the last tiedown on it, a guy walked up and asked, "Are you taking applications now?" I just nodded and pointed at the building entrance. WOW!! Maybe I really will mellow with age.

Joe Biden calling the Fox reporter he referred to as a "stupid son of a bitch" and telling him, "It wasn't anything personal".  Really?  What would have been personal?

Optical Department at Wal-Mart? I walked in and the lady asked, "Are you here to get some new glasses?" Me, "No, I am looking for a pair of cargo pants in a 40 waist."

Safety Rules for Biden

 Joe Biden was heard recently calling a Fox reporter a "stupid son of a bitch" on a live microphone. It won't be long before the Central Committee who controls Biden, bans reporters from any Biden appearance. 

Liberals, AKA Democrats, are not good with safety rules. The first rule of gun safety is "The gun is always loaded". Alec Baldwin did not follow that rule, and someone died. There are people in jail for the same thing Baldwin did, but liberals walk free.

So, maybe we need to put together a list of safety rules and pointers for the Central Committee to use in handling their patient. Pardon me, their President.

1. The microphone is always on. He's the President, that's just the way it is.

2. The camera is always filming. See Rule #1.

3. Reporters are always going to ask questions. It's their job. You can reduce all of these random questions by allowing actual unscripted, unapproved questions asked by randomly selected reporters at real press conferences. Try holding one.

4. Tell Joe to stop attacking people who ask a question that he can't answer. That's getting to be too large a crowd. After a while, even the mainstream bootlickers and ass kissers will tire of his abuse and turn on him.

5. The diaper is always dirty. Does this rule ever change? Depends. Don't let him stay on stage for two hours, he may be soiled.

6. The doctor is always in. Dr. Fauci, of course, is always in the news. Have him step up his lies to take the heat off Joe.

7. Last, but certainly not least, you are going to need to find a positive spin on the term "word salad". Lots of folks are using that term after listening to Joe "answer" a question.

In a related matter to Joe's press habits, where have all of the fact checkers gone? Asking for a friend.

I actually read in an article where some leftist editor said that they don't fact check Biden because he doesn't lie as much as Trump. But if they aren't checking every syllable of every word, like they did with Trump, how do they know?

Here's a few leads for the press to check out.

Was there ever a gang leader called Corn Pop who knew Joe?

Did Joe ever really drive an 18-wheeler?

Find one of those kids who Biden claimed used to like to rub his "hairy legs" at the pool.

What was his actual class ranking at law school?

Did he really get three college degrees?

Did he ever get arrested in a civil rights protest? Extra credit if you prove that he got arrested at a civil rights march for picking up Kamala Harris where she claimed that she fell out of her stroller. Did they charge him with fondling her while she was looking for "feedom"?

I'm not holding my breath waiting for the mainstream press to investigate anything related to Biden. You shouldn't either. Instead, shoot your television!!

Written on a Sunday Morning Sidewalk

 First, my apologies to Kris Kristofferson for being inspired by his song title. I have used variations of it several times. 

Probably never written on a sidewalk: Everyone acts like life is a series of perfectly considered and executed decisions. It is not.

It has snowed twice in the last week in Piedmont North Carolina.  A restaurant that I ran for more than twenty years has been closed for two out of the last six days and delayed opening time on the other days. Your ability to be open is directly related to your desire to be open. We were closed two days for snow in the twenty years that I was there. Many view snow days as a time to rest. I view them as a time to provide a special service to customers and make lots of money.  I am always fascinated that people who "can't get to work" on snow days can go out to eat. That must be some kind of "special" four-wheel drive.

We would adjust operating hours on snow days, usually by closing early, but we were always open for breakfast and lunch. The waitstaff found snow days profitable as people tended to tip more when we were one of the few places open. A few other restaurant operators told me that they used us a benchmark on whether to open. If we were closed, they weren't opening either. Today's operators close at a forecast of snow. They need to move to Florida.

Biden is worried that 100,000 Russians are on the border with Ukraine waiting to cross.  Meanwhile, 2,000,000 illegal immigrants have crossed the southern border into the United States in the last year without any action by Biden. Hey Joe! Is this the difference between an "invasion" and an "incursion"? Maybe the Russians can claim to be refugees.

Someone contacted me to ask who Ron Jeremy is. I had mentioned Ron in my last post. I will be kind about this. Get one of your friends to show you how Google works.

In another public display of stupidity, the Democratic Party in Arizona has censured Sen. Sinema for her vote to keep the filibuster. Bad news folks, but Sinema is more of an independent than a Democrat. This is not her first vote where she strayed from the wishes of the cult that is the Democratic Party. They won't keep her in line with a censure vote. The folks in the Democratic Party better pray that she doesn't start caucusing with the Republicans.

In Louisiana, a Democratic candidate for the U.S. Senate put out a campaign ad showing him smoking marijuana and advocating for the legalization of it. Let me go ahead and make this prediction. This guy will not defeat Sen. John Kennedy. By November, there will be more entertaining remarks from Kennedy than you can count about this ad.

It's probably just me, but the news coverage of the COVID issue seems to be declining. With the federal government unable to control the virus as liberals told us they could, the media doesn't want to talk about it anymore. The idea that we know all and can control all just took another shot in the ass.  Next up, climate change.

Let's go Brandon!!

Joe vs Ron

 President Joe Biden held a fundraiser for the Republican Party this week. To keep the news media from noticing, it was called a press conference. The longer Biden talks, the less sense that he makes. Why does he start that whispering crap? Is a staffer waving a chocolate chip cone at him from offstage? Are there little girls waiting to be fondled in the audience? Does his daughter need him to shower with her? There is some mathematical formula between Biden's time on stage and coherency. Every time that Biden starts talking live on television, the money starts rolling in at Republican headquarters.

The Democrats are all raving about how Biden stood for two hours. WOW! Millions of real, working Americans do that every day at work. The medical professionals Biden is having fired over the vaccine mandates do that every day at work as well. Let's fire Biden and keep the medical staff.

Charlamagne tha God, alleged radio host and certified bad speller, attacked Biden, Sinema, and Manchin for the "voting rights act" failure. First of all, Charlie, it wasn't a "voting rights act". Every citizen has the right to vote. All we are doing is asking that you prove who you are when you finally select one of the multitudes of available days to vote.  For 200 years, we all voted on the same day. Now in an effort to placate a small percentage of the population, Democrats want to change all of the rules in an effort to hold power. Just drop in at any location when you have the time.

Then there is the Voter ID issue. You can't buy a gun without filling out a long form and having a background check and you still need a photo ID.  Find that in the Constitution!! You need photo ID to buy cold medicine at Wal-Mart. If you can whip out your photo ID at Wal-Mart for smokes and beer, you can take it out at the polls. 

 Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson of North Carolina supports Voter ID. He says that Democrats oppose Voter ID because they think that blacks aren't smart enough to get a photo ID. By the way, Robinson is black.

Here's the RMOL voter rights act. We aren't doing "vote by mail". Mail fraud is not as prevalent as it used to be because computer online fraud has surpassed it, but it is still practiced. Ask the Postal Inspectors, it is their primary function. More on fraud in another post. You can still ask for an absentee ballot. Mail it in time to arrive for election day or bring it to the Elections office. This ballot drop box bullshit on street corners is out. When the IRS starts taking payments in those drop boxes, we can talk. 

We don't need a national holiday for Election Day. I will agree to the polls being open for the entire 24 hours. This gives everyone a chance to go vote.

Sorry California, but ballot harvesting is out. Find another "cash crop".

We don't need to allow parties to pass out food and water at the polls for those waiting in line to vote. If you aren't smart enough to take care of yourself, you aren't smart enough to vote. I may consider changing this when we have to start passing out water to people waiting in lines to apply for jobs.

Finally, back where we started, this observation from an acquaintance about Biden's two-hour performance. He said, "What's two hours? The girls on The View have probably watched videos of Ron Jeremy going two hours. Are they raving about Ron?"

Let's Go Brandon!!

I am joining the LGBT

 Yes, even at my age, I have decided to join the LGBT.  For those of you who actually know me and are stunned by the title of this piece, let me explain while you wipe up whatever you just spit out. The LGBT of which I write is the Let's Go Brandon Team. Now does it make sense? By the way, I had a shipment of Let's Go Brandon flags come in a couple of weeks ago. If you can't find one for sale near you, you can contact me for one. There's a discount for RMOL readers.

I am fascinated by the human relations skills of Democrats in Congress. Needing the votes of Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema to do just about anything, they berate them and ridicule them constantly. Maybe we should send the Dem Senators all copies of "How to win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie? No, let's just let them keep shooting themselves.

Gen. Mark "Milli Vanilli" Milley is reported to have COVID. How many soldiers did he discharge for refusing to get a shot that did not keep the learned Gen, Vanilli from getting the COVID?

Democrats and Republicans are split in the US Senate 50-50 and the Democrats think that this is  a mandate to bring Communism to the nation.

I saw Lebron James talking about something the other day and it reminded me of something Rush Limbaugh used to say. Limbaugh always said that he had "Talent on loan from God". Lebron James has "Brains on loan from Mortimer Snerd."

I am so old that I remember when a vaccine kept you from getting a disease.

The U.S. Constitution never mentions Election "Days".

Locally, I saw the Social Security office parking lot was being cleared of snow when I passed there the other day. They haven't been open since COVID started.  What's the hurry? Let it melt.

In California, they want to double people's taxes so that they can give them "free" healthcare. They won't give the "free" brain scans until after they vote. Don't want to take a chance on live voters.

I keep looking everywhere, but I have not seen a soul wearing a "Build Back Better" hat. Unlike the dreaded, red MAGA hats, the BBB hats are alleged to be "bullshit brown". "BBB Hats? I like it. Bozo Beats Biden?

Memo to Nick Saban. You couldn't beat Georgia, you couldn't bully Manchin. Stay out of politics! You are just pissing off the fans. 

The Olympics will be starting soon. Democrats are worried that the opening ceremonies will feature a flyover by the Afghan Air Force that we let the Talban keep.

To Tell the Truth:

 AOC claims that Republicans all want to date her. Any man who would sleep with AOC is just too lazy to masturbate.

AOC visited Florida during the Christmas holidays. This is the same woman who says that she can't pay her student loans on her salary of $174,000 a year. Memo to AOC: Quit hanging out at drag bars in Miami and go to work earning that $174,000.

What happened to Ashley Biden's diary? Where did this story go? Why was the FBI looking for a diary? Does that diary contain the nuclear launch codes?

People used to talk about how political the FBI was under J. Edgar Hoover. I find myself missing old J. Edgar or Mary. I can't recall which name he was using at the end.

Did Biden actually shower with his daughter? That would explain a lot about both of them. Wikipedia describes Ashley Biden as a "social worker". Yeah, and I am a poet!

Vaccines are defined as drugs that prevent diseases.

Positive thinking? Doctors and Democrats have not failed to stop the virus as Biden claimed that he would do. Instead, they have discovered hundreds of techniques that will not work in stopping the virus.

When the pandemic ends, I am applying for a government grant to determine the top 100 stupid things that elected officials tried and failed. To be fair, I will only consider stupid stuff that we have done in the United States. There's no need to bring the People's Republic of Canada into this.

No one ever comes to Congress as a rich man and leaves poor. Middle class people come to Congress and leave as millionaires. Has anyone there been prosecuted for insider trading lately? They get all kinds of confidential information and then get rich on it. Pelosi and her husband come to mind. Richard "I used to be honest" Burr is also on that list.

As a child, I took the polio oral vaccine and a shot for smallpox. How many people my age took those vaccines and got either disease? I know of none.

Biden welcomed more than a million and a half illegal immigrants to this country last year. Did they test them all for COVID? Did they vaccinate them all before distributing them around the nation? They could have done both of these things without any legal issues but did not. Biden should be indicted for endangering the public health.

Today is Day 672 of Roy Cooper's 15-day plan to stop COVID. How's that working, Roy? Roy legalized carryout mixed drinks at one point to help in stopping the virus. Roy also issued a curfew, because everyone knows that the virus can tell time. Roy also marched in a BLM parade with his mask hanging from one ear. 

Mandy "I have never actually practiced medicine" Cohen has mercifully moved on from being Cooper's "medical" advisor. 

The same people who banned church services were okay with BLM marchers and riots. I guess the fires hold the virus in check?

Dr. Fauci? I will save that for another rant.

Mid-Week Memo

 Online morons are blaming Glen Youngkin, winner of the Virginia governor race, for the debacle on I-95 this week. Social media leftists blamed Youngkin for the VDOT handling of the situation. Naturally enough, Mr. Youngkin does not take office until January 15. I am surprised that they did not blame Trump.

The Biden Administration is warning Russia not to invade Ukraine. The Biden Boys are worried that their benefactors in the Ukraine energy companies may have to reduce their "donations" if the Russians take over Ukraine.  The media morons are all worried about 100,000 Russian troops poised to invade Ukraine. They are unconcerned about the more than 100,000 Mexicans who invade the United States every month across our southern border during the Biden presidency.

The Monroe Doctrine concerned the United States and most of the Western Henisphere. If you actually can point out Ukraine on a map, you know that Ukraine is not in the Western Hemisphere. The Biden Doctrine will be issued soon declaring our willingness to protect any government that will bribe a Biden. 

Maybe we could put up an exhibition of Hunter Biden's paintings at the Ukraine-Russia border? Post each masterpiece with a price tag and watch the Russians die laughing at how stupid we are in this country.

Had it not been for Lt. Col. Vindman, would any of us know that Ukraine is the linchpin of American national security?  Once the Russians seize Ukraine, New York will be the next to fall.  

Many idiots, AKA Democrats, are calling for us to ship arms and military equipment to Ukraine. How did that work out for us in Afghanistan? The people of Afghanistan hate the Russians, maybe we can just get them to share with Ukraine some of our military equipment that they have stockpiled.

Changing gears, if you are riding down the road alone in your car and wearing a face mask, you are an idiot.

From the good news department, thrice-vaccinated Whoopi Goldberg has COVID. What kind of horrible virus could live in that body and put up with that woman?

Politicians talking about COVID always say the same thing, "We have to do something." Unfortunately for them, things often go better when politicians do nothing. Let's give that a shot.

The Easter Bunny will be showing up soon bringing vaccination bribes to all of the little boys and girls. 

Social media isn't. 

The state is alarmed that the rate of positive tests results is around 30%. That means that 7 out of 10 people who think they have COVID don't. What percentage of people test positive, but don't have any symptoms? Why aren't these tests classified as false positives? If you test positive but have no symptoms, do you really have the disease?

"Virtual learning" and "remote learning" are both fairy tales spread by teachers' unions. Every business is judged by the quality of the product that they produce. The product of public schools needs to be recalled.

The governor of New York has declared "racism" to be a public health crisis. The real public health crisis is stupid governors.

No Cheer New Year

I saw Liz Cheney on television this morning. I also saw a couple of jock itch treatment ads and a Domino's commercial. They all rated about equal in holding my interest.

Newton Minow, who described television as a "vast wasteland" sixty years ago, has never commented on the real wasteland, the Internet. Given that Minow is 95 years old, I can only guess that a reporter has never thought of asking him about the Internet. On the other hand, I think that Minow has been in hiding since he first hired Barack Obama for a summer job. 

The House Committee on the January 6 debacle is going to start "releasing information". This is how they work in Washington. They gather mountains of information in secret hearings and then they release a few items that back up their contentions. Why don't they just put all of the data out there and let us make our own decisions?

Are there any long-term studies on the effects of the COVID vaccines? Yes, and all of those who have taken that shot are in the test group. 

John Kennedy has been dead more than 58 years and they still haven't released all of the facts. Why not? Martin Luther King had been dead for more than 53 years and they haven't released all of the information about his killing. Why not? What is it that the government is hiding? The only certainty in all of this is that we are certain that Donald Trump was not involved in either case. If he had been, it would be on every television station in the Milky Way.

As the number of people who have taken a "vaccine" continues to climb, the number of cases continues to increase. This is unlike any disease in my lifetime, or any vaccine ever taken. They are trying to maintain the hysteria when they switch from using actual numbers to percentages. 

Sports leagues such as the NBA, the NFL, and the NHL all have vaccination rates of more than 97%. Yet they are all having problems with the virus. Even those of us who don't watch their swill are curious about this turn of events.

Computers in the last thirty years have just become another household appliance. We should treat all of the service suppliers as utilities. Then the government should regulate them like they do other utilities. Can the electric company cut off your power because they disagree with a sign in your yard? Of course not. Can the gas company cut off your service because of your political leanings?  Can the phone company cut off your service because you complain to a friend about what an idiot Sleepy Joe is? Of course not, I still have telephone service. It's time to make utilities out of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and the others of their kind.

An Antifa member in Portland, Oregon who was arrested three times for incidents assaulting the federal courthouse there had to perform thirty (30) hours of community service to get her case dismissed. Compare this to the defendants in the Jan 6 incident. Is Justice really blind or just a stupid Democrat?

Let's Go Brandon!!