To Tell the Truth:

 AOC claims that Republicans all want to date her. Any man who would sleep with AOC is just too lazy to masturbate.

AOC visited Florida during the Christmas holidays. This is the same woman who says that she can't pay her student loans on her salary of $174,000 a year. Memo to AOC: Quit hanging out at drag bars in Miami and go to work earning that $174,000.

What happened to Ashley Biden's diary? Where did this story go? Why was the FBI looking for a diary? Does that diary contain the nuclear launch codes?

People used to talk about how political the FBI was under J. Edgar Hoover. I find myself missing old J. Edgar or Mary. I can't recall which name he was using at the end.

Did Biden actually shower with his daughter? That would explain a lot about both of them. Wikipedia describes Ashley Biden as a "social worker". Yeah, and I am a poet!

Vaccines are defined as drugs that prevent diseases.

Positive thinking? Doctors and Democrats have not failed to stop the virus as Biden claimed that he would do. Instead, they have discovered hundreds of techniques that will not work in stopping the virus.

When the pandemic ends, I am applying for a government grant to determine the top 100 stupid things that elected officials tried and failed. To be fair, I will only consider stupid stuff that we have done in the United States. There's no need to bring the People's Republic of Canada into this.

No one ever comes to Congress as a rich man and leaves poor. Middle class people come to Congress and leave as millionaires. Has anyone there been prosecuted for insider trading lately? They get all kinds of confidential information and then get rich on it. Pelosi and her husband come to mind. Richard "I used to be honest" Burr is also on that list.

As a child, I took the polio oral vaccine and a shot for smallpox. How many people my age took those vaccines and got either disease? I know of none.

Biden welcomed more than a million and a half illegal immigrants to this country last year. Did they test them all for COVID? Did they vaccinate them all before distributing them around the nation? They could have done both of these things without any legal issues but did not. Biden should be indicted for endangering the public health.

Today is Day 672 of Roy Cooper's 15-day plan to stop COVID. How's that working, Roy? Roy legalized carryout mixed drinks at one point to help in stopping the virus. Roy also issued a curfew, because everyone knows that the virus can tell time. Roy also marched in a BLM parade with his mask hanging from one ear. 

Mandy "I have never actually practiced medicine" Cohen has mercifully moved on from being Cooper's "medical" advisor. 

The same people who banned church services were okay with BLM marchers and riots. I guess the fires hold the virus in check?

Dr. Fauci? I will save that for another rant.