Thursday, June 28, 2012

The Secret Constitution

In a master stroke of pure stupidity, the Supreme Court today upheld the constitutionality of "Obamacare." If they wasn't bad enough, some moron and former classmate posted a picture on Facebook that read "Brace yourself. Everyone on Facebook is about to become a constitutional scholar." I talked to someone who is not on my Facebook "friend" list and he had seen the same thing on his page. Evidently, the moron network is spreading this post. So what should I do?

The first thing was the easiest, I "unfriended" the moron who posted that.  I'll send him a link to this post when I'm finished.

Second, I put at the top of my Christmas "want" list, copy of the "secret Constitution". Gil, what do you mean by "secret Constitution"? The "secret Constitution" is what federal judges evidently have been reading when they render stupid decisions like they did today. How do I know this?

Sunday at Buffalo Church, we will have a patriotic program to celebrate Independence Day. I was asked to taking a speaking part, as I do not sing. My part is to recite the Preamble to the Constitution. At practice last night, I was asked if I needed a script. For the Preamble?? No, I had to learn it for a school play in the third grade and I have known it ever since. I may be one of those "constitutional scholars" that Butt-face was referring to in his Facebook post. I have a copy of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence in my briefcase. I have read both enough to have a pretty good idea of what they mean.

Our problem in the United States is that our leaders are lazy. When a crisis arises, rather than follow the Constitution, we abrogate the Constitution. The Founding Fathers gave us a document to follow, why do we keep taking shortcuts? We are always told that the problem is so big that the Constitution doesn't actually cover it. Crap!!

Lincoln abrogated the Constitution in the Civil War. He didn't wait for a judge to do it. He must have had one of those "secret Constitutions". The nation stayed together, but at what cost? What we lost in the Civil War was the rule of law. Don't agree? Where in the Constitution does it prohibit seccesion? It's not there. If they were to add it, they would admit that the South was right.

The Fourth Amendment was destroyed by the "War on Drugs". Has anyone in the federal judiciary read the Fourth Amendment?? You get stopped now for having a tag light out and the police think that they can search your car. What about "No-knock" warrants? How about all of these law enforcement guys riding around in cars seized in drug cases?  Have you heard your sheriff bragging about how much money they have stolen, pardon me, seized. The country can survive a drug crisis, we can't survive without a Constitution.

Abortion?? Find that word in the Constitution. If you are opposed to abortion, the judges are too busy denying your rights to protest to actually take a minute and read the Constitution. Free speech is protected in the Constitution, abortion is not even mentioned.

The Second Amendment protects the rights of the people to bear arms, unless you are a federal judge reading that document. What part of "shall not be infringed" is it that they don't understand?

The courts are letting local governments seize your land for stadiums and shopping centers. In another twenty five years, the concept of private property will cease to exist.

The Constitution was written in language simple enough for the average man to understand. Why do our lawmakers, Presidents and judges insist on complicating it?

I think that the government is worried that we may all become "Constitutional scholars". Get a copy, read it. Think before stepping into the voting booth in November.

Thomas Jefferson wrote "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." It's getting close to watering time.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Weird Wednesday

Here's a few items from the news recently.

Just when you thought that we had all of the stupid judges in our country, Germany tops us. A regional judge in Germany has ruled that circumcision is assault. Picking up where Hitler left off in persecuting Jews, the judge said that it can only be allowed for medical reasons. Ironically, the case involved a Muslim couple who had their four year old circumcised. The judge believes that circumcision can wait until the child is old enough to form their own religous beliefs. At that time, it's really going to hurt!!

A man was ejected from a Kenny Chesney concert in Nashville for looking like Kenny Chesney. He was escorted from his $200 seat by security for his offense. I don't know which makes less sense to me, wanting to look like Kenny Chesney or paying $200 for a ticket to see him. I wouldn't pay $200 for a seat to see Jesus and the Twelve.

I know what you're thinking, unless Dick Cheney appears on stage, I'm not being mistaken for anyone else. There are people at church who think that I look like Cheney. There is an advantage to vaguely resembling Cheney. Anytime I pick up a shotgun, people all hit the ground!! A few people think that I look a little like Terry Bradshaw, if he weren't half a foot taller. Let's face it, all of the old, bald, white guys look alike.

Al Sharpton claims that Eric Holder is being attacked by Congress because he is fighting "voter suppression". That means that he opposes voters having to present identification showing that they are eligible to vote. He doesn't have an issue with someone having to present an ID to buy malt liquor, but needing ID to vote is wrong??

Obama has invoked executive privilege in the investigation of Operation Fast and Furious. He claims that no one in the White House was involved, but we can't see the documents. So much for the most transparent administration in history. Let's face it, he's just a liar!!

I watched an Obama commercial on the television last night. It only took 60 seconds and saved me a trip to Fantasyland at Disney World.

The college football Bowl Championship Series is being sacked in favor of a playoff system. WOW!! Like I give a rat's behind about it.

Sunday, July 1 is our patriotic program at Buffalo Church. I have a speaking part, reciting the Preamble to the Constitution. I was asked to either do that or the Gettysburg Address. I think that the Gettysburg Address is a great piece of work, but I am a Southerner. I'll do the Constitution.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Solving Sudoku

Sudoku? Yes, I have written about it before. I have spent the last several months trying to learn how to work those @@##@@**$$ puzzles. I don't think that I have made much progress. I bought a book of Sudoku puzzles and am working through it, doing one every couple of days. But almost every time that I try the Sudoku in the News & Record, I fail. I did solve one a couple of weeks ago so I'm not a complete loser. However, my patience is wearing thin.

I even tried the Chad, The Sudoku Professor. That would be some dork standing in front of a dry erase board with a puzzle on it. That's not real life. In real life, there's a time limit due to other activities, like taking the dog out and mowing the grass . Not to mention the pressure of knowing that your friends have all probably already solved it. Plus who gets the puzzle printed on a dry erase board?

The Queen works them with ease and is not shy about her mastery of the Sudoku. Bubba and Charlie both work them with what appears to be little effort. But I think that Charlie works that sissy Sudoku in the USA Today. Apparently the N&R Sudoku is that by which puzzle people are judged.  I even read on our church website,, that Pam Kane works them. My self-esteem may be dropping!

I skipped the puzzle yesterday because of a blood pressure issue early yesterday morning. Solving the ##@@** puzzle isn't worth a stroke. I picked up a newspaper this morning and started on the puzzle. It was a level 3. It would have been easier to grow hair on my head than to solve this puzzle. After about an hour with the puzzle and with a twitch developing in my trigger finger, I quit. Then I thought, "This is 2012, surely there is some machine that can solve the puzzle". There is. I used my shredder to transform the puzzle into packing material. Success at last!!!



Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Alice at the beach

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The King is dead

Celebrated criminal Rodney King assumed room temperature early Sunday morning in California. He was found at the bottom of his pool by police officers called to the scene by his girlfriend.

Until I read an article on Yahoo, I didn't know (or care) that King had been treated by the almost famous Dr. Drew Pinsky on "Celebrity Rehab". The Yahoo article stated that King "turned to alcohol to numb the pain of what he went through'. Interesting statement as he had been drinking the night that he lead police on a high speed chase that ended with his beating by the LAPD. Why had he turned to alcohol that night? Maybe to "to numb the pain" of his earlier robbery conviction?

This from the Yahoo news article:
"King was found at the bottom of his swimming pool in Rialto, California, in the early hours of Sunday morning after his fiancée Cynthia Kelly -- who served as a juror in King's 1994 civil suit against the city of Los Angeles for his brutal 1991 beating at the hands of the police -- called 911. Kelly has reportedly told authorities that King was drinking and smoking marijuana in the hours before his death. Around 5 a.m., she awoke to her fiancé nude and beating on a window. Next thing she heard was a splash. Attempts to revive King were unsuccessful and he was pronounced dead an hour later."

You just can't make this stuff up!!! He wakes her at 5:00 by beating on the window? He's nude? None of these are cause for alarm for this woman??

In a demonstration of how times have changed, the police arrived and pulled King from the bottom of the pool. Rescuers tried to revive him, but to no avail.

King's death is a reminder of the 1994 riots in Los Angeles after the acquittal of the officers involved in King's beating. The riots lasted several days until the National Guard was called in to quell the violence. There are those who point out that the riots ended because the Postal Service had suspended mail delivery and government checks could not get through until the riots ended. You pick!

In contrast to the riots of 1994, can you recall the riots after the acquittal of O.J. Simpson for killing two white people? Wait, there weren't any. Just a little more of that diversity thing.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Dad the Dinosaur

The following essay has been floating around the Internet for ten years or so. I thought that it was appropriate for Father's Day. My mother and father divorced when I was five. I think that single parent families are not a good way to raise children. My mother did double duty as Mother and Father. She did a good job, but there are some things that you have to learn from a man. Thankfully, I had a grandfather and several uncles who covered most of the "guy" stuff mentioned below.

Guys my age and older appear to be dinosaurs. We are a fading breed. I still open doors for women and can fix the door if it breaks. I mow the grass, cook, do my own laundry, keep the cars running, fix the plumbing, keep the house working and answer questions about almost anything. Several years ago, I won a tee shirt in a Popular Mechanics magazine contest. In big letters on the front was written, "Ask Me Anything". I don't wear that shirt anymore, but that doesn't stop people from asking. When I die, they will need to hire three people to take my place.

Yes, I am Dad the Dinosaur!! (and proud of it)

To my sons, Walter and William, thanks for everything!! I love you.

I Can't Do One-Quarter of the Things My Father Can

Or: It's not a competition, but you're losing

A highly speculative and unscientifically conducted survey indicates that most American males between the ages of 18 and 25 seem to be incapable of performing many of the chores and duties commonly fulfilled by their fathers.
The activities in questions would not initially appear to be directly related to having a child, though the presence of one may thereafter necessitate their constant use and development.

As young men in this age group approach their thirties, it is increasingly less likely that their fathers will be in a position to pass on their knowledge, leaving the next generation of fathers hopelessly at the mercy of more qualified personnel.

Taking Care of Things

Fathers born in the 1940s or 50s--and please bear in mind that this will not apply to all of them--seem to demonstrate with much greater frequency the ability to 'Take Care of Things'.

Being in possession of this blanket set of skills crucial for the operational fluency of daily life, they become indispensable to the family unit, developing auras of respect and--notably--competence.

They include, but are not limited to:
•Plunger Operation
•Toy Repair
•A knowledge of adhesives

With general practical knowledge of:

And the ability to speak in a commanding tone of voice to:
•The Phone Company
•The Cable Company
•The Electric Company
•The Gas Company
•Other Adults

In Comparison:
Many of the fathers of current 18-25 year olds became so during that stage of their own lives; several years younger than is typically seen today. But an examination of the skill set of current members of that demographic reveals a startling discrepancy; we can't do one-quarter of the things our fathers can.

We are generally capable of:
•Mac and Cheese preparation
•Ramen preparation
•Alcohol consumption

With general practical knowledge of:
•Video Game Platforms
•Twenty-four hour delis

And the ability to speak in a commanding tone of voice to:
•Other children

Skills within the group vary, of course, and some in this age group can take care of many more things than others. Nonetheless, preliminary studies suggest that at the same age, we are much less able to Take Care of Things than our fathers.

How Did This Happen?

Obviously, it is theorized that the environment in which current 18-25 year olds grew up was vastly different than that of their parents. The 1960s, according to most media sources, was a very turbulent decade that changed the course of parenting and the common perception of appropriate responsibility. Young men who worked in their teens, saw their own fathers go to war and faced the horrors of Vietnam naturally developed the ability to Take Care of Things at an earlier age.

That's as may be. However, it still does not really explain why so many young men cannot operate a drill press, band saw, or angle grinder, and are absolutely stuck when the air conditioner breaks down or toilet backs up. The phone company and car mechanics can charge willy-nilly with little or no resistance, and the house can crumble around our ankles while we wait for the landlord or contractor to do something about it.

Many an older father would not and did not stand for such things, whereas many people now at the same age stand for practically everything. It is by no means common knowledge what it costs to install a dishwasher. Yet somehow, Fathers seem to have an almost innate sense of when they're getting ripped off. How do they know? When did they learn?

More grant money will be required to further research the phenomenon.

What Becomes of Us?

Certainly, times are different; things come a few years later than they were once wont to do. But in what context now can these skills be learned? Shelves still need building, the basic principles of miniature golf and astrophysics need explaining, the light switch still has to be rewired. The additional time taken between college and family seems not to be providing these lessons, and we are at, past, or fast approaching the ages at which our Fathers had us.

And all things being equal where Taking Care of Things is concerned, we still persist in deferring to the authority of our Fathers, who, if nothing else, can at the very least lie convincingly about what they know, and make a good show of trying.


The few things that seem to travel in the blood-an unflagging faith in duct tape, the ability to make a sandwich out of virtually anything--are insufficient.

The many young men out there both twenty-five and fifteen at once must take action. Attend training seminars, tinker with electrical sockets. Learn the ins and outs of the fuse box, build a table or spice rack. Clean out the gutters, buy a studfinder.

We cannot have our eighty year old Fathers up on the roof every time the TV Antenna goes on the fritz.

Take care of things.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Obama and Civics

Here's a hypothetical case for us to examine. Suppose that someone breaks into your house when you aren't home. You come home and find them there and call the police. The police arrive and tell you that since the intruder is under thirty and has not broken any other laws, he can stay. Insane, right??? Apparently not, as this is the Obama administration's new policy on immigration. The slower among you may need to review my analogy while the rest of us move on. Catch up when you can.

In late August of 1967, I took my seat in a Civics class taught by Pasquale A. Russo. That class was the defining moment in my education. If my politics disturb you, blame it on Mr.Russo. If you don't care for my reasoning techniques, blame it on Mr. Russo. Yes, Mr. Russo was my all-time favorite teacher.

I can't remember where Obama went to school, but rest assured that he was never in Mr. Russo's class. I know that Mr. Russo never taught at Harvard, Columbia or anywhere in Indonesia or Kenya. Had Obama been in Mr. Russo's class, we would be having fewer problems. One of Mr. Russo's favorite things was to call on a student and say, "Miss Duke, stand up. You have two minutes, justify your existence." I loved it!! Can you picture it? "Mr. Obama, stand up. You have two minutes, justify your existence." I don't think that Obama could do that today. There were no teleprompters in  Mr.Russo's class.

Mr. Russo taught us about the three branches of the federal government. Simply put, Congress passes laws, the President and the executive branch operate the government and enforce the laws and the Supreme Court and lower courts interpret the laws. Today's announcement that the government will not deport some people who are here illegally violates this concept. The Obama Administration claims that it can use "prosecutorial discretion" to not prosecute. There's a hundred dollar bill waiting for the first person to find the term "prosecutorial discretion" in the Constitution. Don't waste your time Nathan, it's not there.

The amazing thing about this is that Obama supposedly taught Constitutional Law at the University of Chicago Law School for 12 years. If you studied Constitutional Law under Obama, you need to file suit immediately to get a refund.

We might be able to discuss "prosecutorial discretion" in a case or two. The Secretary of Homeland Security wants to dismiss about 200,000 cases quickly. WHOA!! We need to talk. If Obama wants to change the law, he needs for Congress to do that. This is simply an end run around the intent of the Constitution. Obama is breaking the law that his oath requires him to uphold. As a former teacher of Constitutional Law, surely he knows this. In addition, this is simply Obama using our money to buy support among Hispanics in the coming election.

The Presidential Oath of Office is as follows;
I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

The law is clear. To be a nation of laws, the law must be upheld. The President is not allowed to pick and choose.It is obvious that Obama has broken his oath and should be impeached and removed from office. It will be quicker just to vote the tyrant out in November.

The Secretary of Homeland Security, the Attorney-General and all other federal office holders need to be reminded of the oath that they took.
"I do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same, that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion, and I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God."

November 6 is house cleaning time in America, while it's still America!

Redneck Island??

This started  last week when I e-mailed a friend and mentioned that I was watching the CMT awards and "I must be the only redneck in the world not in Nashville tonight." I received a reply that started "Homes, you have finally come clean." "Come clean?" I live in rural Caswell County. There is no urban Caswell County.  Do you think that there might be a redneck out here? But I digress, back to my story.

CMT kept running commercials for a couple of their shows "My Big Redneck Vacation" and the new "Redneck Island". This highlights a huge cultural gap in America. If you are a middle class, white Southerner, then it's okay for people to make fun of you. We even do it ourselves. Jeff Foxworthy has made a career of "You might be a redneck if". In this case, CMT is making fun of their own viewer base. Do you think that this is right?

Is BET (Black Entertainment Television) running a show called "My Big Negro Vacation"? Do they have "Homeboy Island" in the works somewhere?

Do you think that the Spanish language stations are showing "My Big Wetback Vacation"? Are there any islands in the Rio Grande big enough to use as a location for "Wetback Island"?

Is there any possibility that the Indian language network is running "Slurpee Island", a show about Indians trying to run a 7-11 in the South? Will Bombay Bob have to call a help center in West Virginia to get his store's computer going? Are they riding mechanical bulls in "My Big Hindu Vacation"? I doubt it.

Let's not leave the Arabs out of this. How about sending a bunch to California for some $5 a gallon gasoline in "My Big Raghead Vacation"? Put those guys on an island and they would find oil.

What's happening this week on "Asian Island"? Are the Chinese playing ping-pong on vacation? Or is it true that as a friend said, a nation of over a billion people that claims ping-pong is their favorite activity is lying.

What's the point of all of this? In America, we have forgotten how to take a joke. That  is unless you are watching "Redneck Island" and spotting family members.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012


There's not much online that I despise more than Facebook. I'm a member because my high school class has a page there and I thought that it would be a good way to keep up with old acquaintances. That may be true, but it comes at a price.

Facebook must be in the definition of "banality" in the dictionary. If not, I'm going to put it there. I think that continued exposure to Facebook will lower your intelligence. It's not a website, it's a disease.

I rarely post anything on Facebook. Most of my posts are pictures of Alice, my prettiest grandchild.

I think that I have about sixty "Friends" on Facebook. That would be fifty eight more than I have in real life! Of these sixty people, there are about six or seven who fill my Facebook page with info. They do this EVERYDAY. These people must have no lives. There are several posts every day from these people. As best as I can tell, these people are walking around with a "smart" phone keeping us all posted on what they are doing. I know when they get up, go get groceries, get sick, play a game, what they had for dinner, if they farted afterwards, there's just no end!!

People on Facebook give out way too much information. I don't want to know if you are getting breast implants or how the Viagra is working. Guys, I don't want to see your new tattoos. Girls, I don't even want to know if you have a tattoo!  I'm either happy that you are pregnant or sorry that you are pregnant, you pick. All I'm sure about is that I don't need a lot of details. I don't want to see pictures of crawfish boils or pizza. I'm glad that you can afford sushi for dinner, but don't post pictures. I can't believe that they have a sushi place in Alabama. I'm from North Carolina, food is dirt grown and deep fried. Do I post pics from Donut World? Girls,stop wasting your time posting those beach pictures, everybody can tell that they have been Photoshopped.

Stop posting urban legends as fact and don't waste the keystrokes asking me to play a game. If you want me to post something to prove that I am your friend, forget it. I'm not sending anything to ten of my friends, I really don't have that many.

Friends? I see people who have hundreds of "friends". If we define "friend" as someone who would bail you out of jail, they are probably all down to two or three friends. It would be more honest if Facebook just labeled them as  "acquaintances".

I tell everyone that I only have two friends and I'm pretty sure that one of them wouldn't get me out of jail. They would probably just send a lawyer. I'm keeping them as a friend anyway.

The whole "friend" thing is strange. As I just wrote, I have a couple of close friends and we aren't "friends" on Facebook. My sons are both on Facebook and I'm not on their "friends" list. There is some stuff that I just don't want to know.

What do your "friends" say about you? I have a gay second cousin who is on Facebook a lot. He has more than 1100 "friends". From the pictures of his "friends", one might surmise that his "friends" are all young men who can't afford shirts and shave their chests.

I have been told that the rudest thing on Facebook is to "unfriend" someone. Count me in!! A few weeks ago I "unfriended" a former employee. He ranted for days after the amendment defining marriage in North Carolina passed. When I caught my limit on that, a few keystrokes ended my suffering.

Having said all of this, why do I even look at Facebook? It's like watching a train wreck. You don't want to, but you can't turn away. I am just going to ease my pain and check it only on Sunday night. That way, I have a week to get all of the profanity out of my system before Sunday School rolls around. Look for a picture of Alice on Sunday!!

Saturday, June 02, 2012

Am I on "Dallas"??

Wednesday morning I went to court in Greensboro as a witness in the "Bacon Grease bandits" case. More on that in another post. When I left court, I had a phone message from my wife telling me to get a newspaper. I did so and found an article about Tex & Shirley's on the front page of the "Savor" section.

The article started with:
The torch has been passed.

Bart Ortiz has taken over Tex and Shirley’s, the restaurant at 708 Pembroke Road in Greensboro that his father, Bartolo “Bart” Ortiz, owned and ran for more than 20 years.
Ortiz says his dad is busy running the High Point location, but running both restaurants had become a struggle. So Ortiz took over the iconic flagship location.

Imagine my reaction! I felt like Bobby in the old "Dallas" series. I woke up Wednesday morning to find that it had all been a dream! I had not run T&S at Friendly for twenty years. Wonder what I've been doing? Why am I so tired?

This reminds me of the history of the Stalin regime in the old Soviet Union. As people were purged, they would be removed from all of the photos in the historical records and their names would be removed from everything. It was like they never existed. My favorite was a photo of Stalin at a table with seven or eight guys in the late 1930's. By the time the war was over, all had been purged. There is a series of photographs that show them disappearing, one at a time, until only Stalin is in the picture.

I'm over being angry about it. My friends and family know the facts. And if you read this blog regularly, you know that I don't really care what anyone else thinks.
I'll write more about it in my book "Live from Tex & Shirley's!". Standup comedy act of the same name to follow.

Friday, June 01, 2012

Bloomberg & Edwards

Michael Bloomberg, the Mayor of New York City, wants to outlaw large soft drinks with your meals at New York City restaurants, stadiums, theaters and street vending carts. The Fuhrer of New York City thinks that 16 ounces of Pepsi or Coke is all that you need. Apparently seconds are permissible, as is a second cup, so what is the rationale behind this?  Bloomberg believes that people in New York City are not smart enough to decide how much to drink. Note that there is no limit imposed in New York City on how large a glass of beer or wine may be served.

Michael Bloomberg is living proof that stupidity has no cure. Einstein is reputed to have said, "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe." He must have met Bloomberg at some point!

Bloomberg supports same sex marriage because as he says "Government shouldn't tell you whom to marry." This is the same man who believes that the government should tell you how big a cup of Coca-Cola you should drink?  With Bloomberg gay sex is good, Coca-Cola is bad. You have to wonder about that guy. Apparently the Mayor's views on the government running your life are mixed.

Times like this make me appreciate life in The South. You can carry both a gun and a Big Gulp and not break the law. Bloomberg's new law would impact sweet tea if they had it, but they are too sophisticated for that. I wonder if there are any Bojangles operating in New York City.

This is obviously an anti-Southern law as both Coca-Cola and Pepsi originated in the South. Pepsico is now headquartered in Purchase, NY near New York City. They should move.

Actually, this only confirms what we all know. There is no aspect of your life that is too small for the government to want to control.

The trial of John Edwards ended with a mistrial yesterday in Greensboro. Yes, the biggest financial boon for downtown Greensboro in years has come to an end. I passed the site the other day. It was like Ringling Brothers had come back to town.

Hopefully the Breck Girl will fade into oblivion now, never to torment the people of North Carolina again. This is what happens when you elect a personal injury attorney to the Senate.

Unable to convict the dirtbag on any of the charges against him, the jury should have just rendered a verdict of being a lowlife on Edwards. Thank God that he was never elected President. We would have Rielle Hunter as the First Nutcase.