Friday, December 25, 2009

The Passionate Patriot

I was in Fort Walton Beach last week visiting my mother and visited the T-shirt Connection on Racetrack Road. I had driven by there several times, but finally stopped in after seeing some of his shirts and bumper stickers on display outside. I bought four shirts and they threw in a couple of bumper stickers. He uses good quality shirts and puts great conservative messages on them.

I bought a "Charter Member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy" shirt and a "Gun Owner or Victim, Choose One" shirt. I bought my wife a "Shoot like a girl, If you can" shirt. I bought my older son a "Don't tread on me" shirt with "Tyranny Response Team" on the back.

I almost never plug any businesses here, but since the morons in Washington are intent on destroying freedom, I am making an exception.

Go to

Buy some shirts and bumperstickers. Silence is consent!

Here's your lump of coal!!

9:00 A.M. Christmas morning and my twenty year old son is still in bed asleep. I guess that the fascination of getting up at the crack of dawn to see what Santa has brought is over. At least we get to sleep late now. On the down side, I do miss that big plate of cookies that they used to leave out on the table for me, I mean for Santa.

Early yesterday, the Senate left the biggest lump of coal in history in the stockings of Americans. This bill is the new record holder in the politics of payoffs. From the New Louisiana Purchase to the Cornhusker Kickback, Harry "The Grinch" Reid spent our money buying votes for this testimony to the stupidity of lawmakers.

Both the House and the Senate managed to pass a bill that failed to address the problem of malpractice suits. This is what happens when a group of crooks, excuse me, lawyers, try to tell doctors how to practice medicine.

The New Louisiana Purchase involved pumping more money into that backwater cesspool to get Mary "I'm no cheap Ho" Landrieu to vote for this alleged health care reform bill. After the cost of Katrina, there is no need to spend any more money trying to keep that swamp above sea level. Move them all to Harry Reid's home state and turn Louisiana into a bombing range. Bomb the levees and let nature take it's course. New Orleans could be the new Venice.

The only bone that the Senate threw to doctors was to kill a proposed 5% tax on doctors with a 10% tax on tanning salons. How did we elect 60 people this frigging stupid?

Our remaining hope is that the House and Senate Democraps will kill each other trying to reconcile two bills that are both hazardous to our health.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

It's more than just Tiger!

This should be my last shot at Tiger Woods. Unless I find out that he slept with Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, or Barbara Boxer.

Tiger Woods has announced that he is taking a leave from golf to spend time sorting out his personal life. Given that the mistress count seems to grow on a daily basis, this is probably a good move. With his alleged ties to a porn star, it won't be long before the folks at Adam and Eve sign him to a deal. Rumors are that his agent is talking to Extenze and Viagra about endorsement deals. Just kidding, Tiger.

The climate summit is underway in Copenhagen. You can never find a suicide bomber when you need one. They probably couldn't get through all of the private jets and limos anyway.

The Senate has passed spending bill that gives federal employees an average pay increase of 2%. I wonder how many of us in the private sector are getting a 2% raise with the economy in the toilet. There really is no connection between the government and the real world.

No news from Barbara Boxer today. My blood pressure is lower.

The South Carolina legislature is considering a resolution claiming that Gov. Mark Sanford has "disgraced" South Carolina. Exactly how does one do that? Disgrace the state that kept Strom Thurmond in the Senate for about a hundred years? Remember Rita and John Jenrette?? Myrtle Beach?? Who can forget Miss Teen South Carolina explaining why students can't find the U.S. on a map?? Can Sanford find the U.S. on a map?

Speaking of the "love gov", his wife has filed for a divorce. If I were Sanford, I would go ahead and move the hot babe from Argentina into the Governor's mansion. What's he have to lose?

I hauled a load of garbage to the Casville convenience center today. That's where the county keeps the dumpsters. As I was putting my garbage in the dumpster, an older black man came up with a couple of bags of trash. I speak to everyone as part of my plan to keep the world off-balance. I asked him, "How are you doing today?". He responded, "Man, I would love to have some of that global warming today!" Three hours later, I'm still laughing. Note to Al Bore, the Global Warming Whore, it was 19 degrees here in Ruffin this morning. Global warming, my ass!

Friday, December 11, 2009

The Fetching Mrs. Loman, Part 2

I am always amazed when I receive comments on my blog. I am stunned that people read this stuff. Almost all of the comments that I have received have been from the same person, Anonymous. I received the most recent yesterday. Mr. Anonymous wrote to ask "What does the fetching Mrs. Loman look like?"

You are in luck, Mr. Anonymous!! I have a picture of the fetching Mrs. Loman at a banquet several years ago where Mrs. Loman presented a gift basket to our guest speaker, columnist Charlie Reese. The bad news for you Mr. Anonymous is that this is a view from the rear. The rest is left up to your imagination. Knock your self out!!!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Name's the Game

From the Greensboro News & Record comes this story:

GREENSBORO – A registered sex offender was arrested Tuesday on charges he visited an elementary school more than 30 times and exposed himself there earlier this month.

Greensboro police arrested Jerry Fitzgerald Dick, 45, of 1724-B Springmont Drive Tuesday after he allegedly was on the campus of Joyner Elementary School at 3300 Normandy Drive a total of 33 times since late August, according to court records.

Dick, who was convicted of indecent liberties with a minor in 2002, allegedly exposed himself on school property on Dec. 3, warrants state.

Court documents state Dick’s name was listed multiple times on the school’s visitor’s log since August to drop a child off late and police witnessed him on the campus.

He reportedly had been living at the home of the person he exposed himself to – though court records don’t indicate his relationship with the victim.

Dick was charged with 33 counts being on property occupied by children as a registered sex offender and one count of indecent exposure.

He is being held at the Guilford County jail in Greensboro on a $250,000 bond.

1. We need to stop thinking that we can rehabilitate sociopaths. We need to move them out of society.
2. This guy is obviously too stupid to be a productive member of society.
3. Will there be any straight faces in the courtroom when he goes to trial? I'm guessing that when the DA says, "The state will prove that Mr. Dick exposed himself", there will be a brief recess to stop the laughter.
4. At least his parents didn't name him Harry.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Wet Wednesday Thoughts

The Tiger Woods saga is gaining momentum. Apparently Tiger was playing 18 holes a day and then going out for a round of golf. Tiger claims that he was motivated by the old cemetery ads telling people, "get lots while you're young". If his career as a golfer goes south, he is one hell of a juggler. Maybe Bill Clinton needs someone to handle his schedule.

The Andrews sisters of Greensboro left a comment on my post "Kay Hagan vs The fetching Mrs. Loman". Ed, I would have called you but it was only a couple of days before Thanksgiving and I didn't want to pull you out of the buffet line at the Embassy Suites.

The economy is in the toilet and we are sending more troops to Afghanistan to protect the opium supply, so what's the big agenda in the House of Representatives? You guessed it! They want to force the NCAA to implement a playoff system for the college football championship. I guess that this is the only relief that they can offer the unemployed.

From the Senate: Barbara Boxer, the California Cunt, is comparing denying women abortion coverage in the proposed "health care plan" with denying men Viagra coverage. I am having a little trouble with comparing taking a life with getting an erection, but maybe in California this makes sense. I doubt that any reduction in Viagra usage would result in any change in the number of abortions.

In the news last week, Governor Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger of California showed a map of a flooded San Francisco if the oceans continue to rise. I am trying to see the downside of this. In the meantime, I turned on all of the faucets at work in an effort to raise those levels.

Only 16 shopping days left until Christmas. Have you ordered your Chia Obama???

Saturday, December 05, 2009

A Christmas Carol

One of my family's Christmas traditions is to watch "A Christmas Carol". While the version on television starring George C. Scott is excellent, all of the video versions pale in comparison to the North Carolina Shakespeare Festival's stage production.

I will give the Shakespeare Festival a free plug and tell you that it is always an excellent production. This year we attended the "Preview Night". We normally attend a production closer to Christmas, but the $10 tickets were impossible to resist. Tickets are normally in the $30 range so you can easily understand my attraction to "Preview Night".

Due to my work schedule, sleep habits, and other ailments, I am famous for sleeping through some parts of the production. You put me into a comfortable seat in a cool dark room and I am going to sleep. Sorry! This year I was awake throughout the entire play. There were parts that I have never seen.

There was a different actor playing Scrooge this year, so I was looking forward to seeing a different interpretation. Usually the production changes slightly year to year, but this year there were wholesale changes. It was really VERY good! I turned to my wife at a point early in the play and asked, "Is this part new or do I normally sleep through this part?" It was new.

What was the highlight of the play for myself and those within 30 or 40 feet of me? In the scene with the spirit of Christmas present, Ebenezer and the spirit are at the Cratchit home. There is this line concerning Tiny Tim:
"As good as gold," said Bob, "and better. Somehow he gets thoughtful sitting by himself so much, and thinks the strangest things you ever heard. He told me, coming home, that he hoped the people saw him in the church, because he was a cripple, and it might be pleasant to them to remember upon Christmas Day, who made lame beggars walk, and blind men see."

Hearing this, I turned to my wife and said in what I thought was a quiet voice, "Obama?" Some of the folks around us may still be laughing. My only regret is that I didn't speak at my normal volume.

Go see it for yourself!!!

Friday, December 04, 2009

Meredith, say it ain't so!!

I came home the other night and turned on the news to get the latest Tiger update. Instead I saw Meredith Baxter telling the world that she is now a lesbian. That made the Tiger story look like serious news.

I still don't understand this whole "coming out" process. Why do people tell us that their sexual preference is a private matter, but then insist on telling us all about it? Can't they just wait until I ask to tell me? Do they have to go on national television to tell us all?

A lot of people who "come out" are wasting their time, we already know. Did Ellen Degeneres or Clay Aiken really need to go public with their story? If you couldn't figure out that those two were "gay", you weren't smart enough to turn on the television to see the news.

Why do they call it "gay" anyway? Do you think that they are any happier than the rest of us? In Meredith's case, why did it take so long for her to figure it out? She had five kids and was married three times before she decided at age 55 that she preferred the taste of pussy.

There are those who believe that Meredith's disclosure was designed to reinvigorate her career. If I were a movie producer, this might make sense. If I were a producer reading a script that called for a 62 year old, big-breasted, "janey-come-lately" lesbian, I would call Meredith. Since I'm not a producer, don't wait by the phone, babe!

I have always been fascinated by the explanations of homosexuality. Male homosexuals tell us that it is a genetic condition. According to them, they are born that way and have no choice. Lesbians tell us that they are "gay" because women are more caring and nurturing and fill their needs more than men can. I guess that we men really are from Mars.

Seen recently on a car driven by a large bull dyke type was a bumper sticker that read, "I'm a vaginaterian". Finally something that we can agree on.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

While browsing the Web

You can't cure stupid!

Tiger Woods, enough said. Wait a minute. I was talking with a customer at the restaurant on Monday and he hit the nail on the head about the whole Tiger Woods thing. He told, me "This guy has an entourage of about a hundred people to handle everything for him and this is the best story that they could come up with?"

Chris Matthews, "Hardball" evidently describes that object in his head where most of us have our brains. For those of you who have been in a coma the past couple of days, Matthews described Obama's visit to the U.S. Military Academy at West Point as "going to the enemy camp". Matthews has since issued an apology for his stupidity. Note to Mr. Matthews, the enemy camp is wherever I pitch my tent.

Barbara Boxer, the California Cunt, is at it again. As the story breaks of massive fraud in climate change data, Boxer called for an investigation. Not an investigation into the fraud perpetrated by those working for government grants and manipulating the data, but an investigation into those who released the e-mails and other documents outlining the fraud.

Global Warming is a fraud. As more documents become available, it will become obvious to even the dim-witted among us (this means the liberals), that the data has been manipulated to enrich the liars and hypocrites among us. This is Al Gore's cue to stand up and face "The Inconvenient Truth". You morons who have been traveling in private jets and SUVs telling the rest of us to change our lives to fight climate change have been lying.

Senate Democrats. Senator Tom Coburn has been attacked by Democrats who claim that he doesn't understand the "Health Care" bill. Just for the record, Coburn is one of two licensed doctors in the Senate. What would a doctor know about health care?? Coburn claims that the Senate bill, at more than 2000 pages, costs the taxpayers 6.8 million dollars per word.