Saturday, December 12, 2009

It's more than just Tiger!

This should be my last shot at Tiger Woods. Unless I find out that he slept with Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, or Barbara Boxer.

Tiger Woods has announced that he is taking a leave from golf to spend time sorting out his personal life. Given that the mistress count seems to grow on a daily basis, this is probably a good move. With his alleged ties to a porn star, it won't be long before the folks at Adam and Eve sign him to a deal. Rumors are that his agent is talking to Extenze and Viagra about endorsement deals. Just kidding, Tiger.

The climate summit is underway in Copenhagen. You can never find a suicide bomber when you need one. They probably couldn't get through all of the private jets and limos anyway.

The Senate has passed spending bill that gives federal employees an average pay increase of 2%. I wonder how many of us in the private sector are getting a 2% raise with the economy in the toilet. There really is no connection between the government and the real world.

No news from Barbara Boxer today. My blood pressure is lower.

The South Carolina legislature is considering a resolution claiming that Gov. Mark Sanford has "disgraced" South Carolina. Exactly how does one do that? Disgrace the state that kept Strom Thurmond in the Senate for about a hundred years? Remember Rita and John Jenrette?? Myrtle Beach?? Who can forget Miss Teen South Carolina explaining why students can't find the U.S. on a map?? Can Sanford find the U.S. on a map?

Speaking of the "love gov", his wife has filed for a divorce. If I were Sanford, I would go ahead and move the hot babe from Argentina into the Governor's mansion. What's he have to lose?

I hauled a load of garbage to the Casville convenience center today. That's where the county keeps the dumpsters. As I was putting my garbage in the dumpster, an older black man came up with a couple of bags of trash. I speak to everyone as part of my plan to keep the world off-balance. I asked him, "How are you doing today?". He responded, "Man, I would love to have some of that global warming today!" Three hours later, I'm still laughing. Note to Al Bore, the Global Warming Whore, it was 19 degrees here in Ruffin this morning. Global warming, my ass!


Post a Comment

<< Home