Meredith, say it ain't so!!

I came home the other night and turned on the news to get the latest Tiger update. Instead I saw Meredith Baxter telling the world that she is now a lesbian. That made the Tiger story look like serious news.

I still don't understand this whole "coming out" process. Why do people tell us that their sexual preference is a private matter, but then insist on telling us all about it? Can't they just wait until I ask to tell me? Do they have to go on national television to tell us all?

A lot of people who "come out" are wasting their time, we already know. Did Ellen Degeneres or Clay Aiken really need to go public with their story? If you couldn't figure out that those two were "gay", you weren't smart enough to turn on the television to see the news.

Why do they call it "gay" anyway? Do you think that they are any happier than the rest of us? In Meredith's case, why did it take so long for her to figure it out? She had five kids and was married three times before she decided at age 55 that she preferred the taste of pussy.

There are those who believe that Meredith's disclosure was designed to reinvigorate her career. If I were a movie producer, this might make sense. If I were a producer reading a script that called for a 62 year old, big-breasted, "janey-come-lately" lesbian, I would call Meredith. Since I'm not a producer, don't wait by the phone, babe!

I have always been fascinated by the explanations of homosexuality. Male homosexuals tell us that it is a genetic condition. According to them, they are born that way and have no choice. Lesbians tell us that they are "gay" because women are more caring and nurturing and fill their needs more than men can. I guess that we men really are from Mars.

Seen recently on a car driven by a large bull dyke type was a bumper sticker that read, "I'm a vaginaterian". Finally something that we can agree on.