The Sunday Funnies?

 Back when the Sunday newspaper was a quarter, I used to love to read the Sunday comics. Or as I described them to my friends, "the illustrated editorial section." The newspaper is no longer a quarter and I haven't read the funnies since my children were born. But let's work from those thoughts anyway.

From New York comes word that the Democrats are trying to eat one of their own, again. Democrats are calling for the NY Attorney General to lead an "independent" investigation into sexual harassment allegations against Andrew Cuomo.  To call AG Letitia James "independent" is more than a mislabeling. James is hardly famous for fairness. She persecutes anyone who knows a Trump or has been a member of the NRA. Why are they going after Cuomo? Because he is a possible candidate for President in 2024 and James has to get him out of Camel-Toe Harris's path to the White House. I am entertained that Democrats live and die by the concept of "guilt by allegation".  It's always funny when it happens to them.

If Letitia James wants to investigate a politician, let me suggest the famed AOC.  AOC is always talking about how people making minimum wage need a raise. She speaks of her time as a bartender. I have spent more than 50 years in the food service industry. I have NEVER encountered a tipped employee who reported all of their tips. Yes, NEVER. Why not audit AOC and see if she paid all of the city, state, and federal taxes that she was required to pay? What's good for the goose??

The state of North Carolina has changed their sales tax laws to require that the Division of Surplus State Property charge sales tax when they sell items to the public. So we pay taxes so that the state can buy equipment and then pay more taxes when they sell us the items that we paid for to start the process? Since the NC Department of Revenue audits businesses that collect sales taxes, as required by law, will they audit the state itself??

Fact checkers are not wasting any time fact-checking Democrats. No one will report on it.  I am sticking with my theory that all of the media outlets fired their fact checkers and they all returned to their jobs working the door at Wally World.

Joe Biden?? Every time that I hear Biden speak, I am reminded of every "Little Moron" joke that I told or heard as a child.

I am so old that I remember "Polak" jokes. My favorite "Polak" joke went like this. A Polak walked into his doctor's office with a frog on his head. The doctor asked, "How did that happen?" The frog said, "I don't know. It started out as a wart on my ass." You never hear those anymore. 

I was thinking of upgrading to Ukrainian jokes. I just don't think that I can top Lt. Col. Vindman and his story about the Ukraine being the key to our national security. That yarn was even better than that woman ambassador's complaining about not having a coffee maker in her office OH, the humanity!!!

I will close with one of my favorite stories. Long ago and far away, before Al Gore invented the Internet, people "Xeroxed"  funny items and passed them around. Was Mark Suckerburg inspired by this activity to create Facebook? I found this item from years ago and decided to share it here. 

 The Real Boss  

When the Lord made Man, all the parts of the body argued over who would be the Boss. The Brain explained that since he controlled all the parts of the body, he should be Boss. The Legs argued that since they took the Man wherever he wanted to go, he should be the Boss.

The Stomach countered with the explanation that since he digested all the food, he should be the boss. The Eyes said that without them, Man would be helpless, so they should be Boss. Then the Ass hole applied for the Job. The other parts of the body laughed so hard that the ass hole became mad and closed up.

After a few days the Brain went foggy, the Legs got wobbly, the Stomach got ill, the Eyes got crossed and were unable to see. They all finally conceded and made the Ass hole Boss.

Moral of the story? You don't have to be a Brain to be Boss…just an Asshole.

Saturday Shots

 I received a couple of inquiries this week asking whether I was alive or had been indicted in the "insurrection" event. Sorry, I have actually been busy. Then, the recent ice storm left our property littered with fallen trees. I have been doing my Paul Bunyan impression without Babe, the Blue Ox, available to help me. 

Today's news tells us that Jim Acosta of CNN was "accosted" by conservatives at CPAC in Florida. According to the news sources, Acosta was greeted by a crowd chanting "CNN sucks". I would be willing to bet that Acosta does as well. I just can't believe that CNN sent Acosta to CPAC. I guess Don Lemon was having his period and couldn't go.

The Democrats are all attacking Joe Manchin. They are criticizing the man whose vote they need to pass almost anything.  Maybe the GOP could trade Romney or Murkowski for Manchin. 

There is a growing theory that Rachel Levine is somehow a reincarnation of Phil Silvers who has come back as almost a woman wannabe.

Roy Cooper, who is now claiming that kids need to be in school, just vetoed a bill that mandates that exact event. I am going to go time traveling again and give Dr. Kevorkian Cooper's name and address.

Roy Cooper is  working on his 2022 campaign for the US Senate. He thinks that we will all have forgotten about the lockdowns by next year. It has been a long time since someone made Richard Burr look good.

Democrats are complaining that Biden's "nominees of color" aren't being treated fairly by Republican Senators. This from the 41 Democrats who voted against Ben Carson when Trump nominated him.

Democrats are causing those who edit dictionaries to redefine "Hypocrites".

Tiger Woods will be heading off to some type of rehab after his latest experience with an automobile. One of his friends or advisers needs to convince him to stop driving motor vehicles. Why doesn't he just hire a driver?  Somebody needs to explain UBER to him.

There has been talk for years in North Carolina Republican circles about Richard Burr running for Governor. That talk ended when Burr voted to convict Trump. Burr will just go ahead and remain in Washington after his term ends. You read it here first.

I have met Richard Burr several times over the years. He was our Congressman off and on due to redistricting. Richard went to Washington and joined "The Swamp". Richard Burr is the cautionary tale for those who aspire to leadership positions in Washington. He went to Washington as a good guy and became a dirtbag. Richard Burr is a walking case for term limits. 

Let's end Congressional pensions and put them all on Social Security. Same thing for those in the other two branches of government.

The Washington Redskins have still not announced their new team name. I am hoping that they go with, (drum roll here), the Washington Foreskins. First, they can keep the 'Skins name. The "Foreskins" will also represent a city filled with pricks and dickheads. Not to mention it gives, "They are going deep!" a whole new meaning. Buy those jerseys and hats now!!