Monday, May 29, 2006

Dudley Do-Right and the Magic DNA

The saga of the Duke lacrosse team continues it's bizarre course. A couple of weeks ago, another player was indicted by Mike "Vote whore" Nifong's grand jury. The alleged victim picked her third assailant from a lineup of lacrosse players by telling the Durham police "It looks just like him without the mustache." The only problem with that is that the latest player has never had a mustache. There are photos of him the day before and the day after the alleged rape, no mustache. Would this affect any sane law enforcement agent?? Yes, but remember that we are talking about the Durham police.

There is also the DNA evidence or lack of it. There is a DNA sample from the trash can in the bathroom where the stripper claims to have been raped. While the lab cannot state conclusively that the DNA matches that of the player, they cannot rule it out. Can you believe this?? According to Nifong, a sample of your DNA in your bathroom trash can is solid evidence. What are the odds that there is some of your DNA in the bathroom trash can at your residence??

But NELL!!! Dudley Do-Right has stopped chasing Snidely Whiplash to come south and help Nifong with the case. He is stopping in Mayberry on the way to pick up an official Barney Fife fingerprint kit. Dudley has told Nifong that he believes that he may be able to find fingerprints at the player's home also. Warm up the electric chair!!

Friday, May 12, 2006

Car 54, Where are you??

In their handling of the now famous Duke lacrosse team rape case, the Durham police have become law enforcement legends. Legends like the Keystone Cops, Barney Fife, the guys from Barney Miller, and the pair from Car 54.

The report from Duke this week claims that the Durham police first told school officials that the alleged victim was not credible. They report that she kept changing her story. She first claimed to have been raped by twenty guys, then reduced it to three. Coincidentally, she claimed to have been raped by three guys ten years ago in a case where no arrests were ever made. I have heard that things come in threes but that may be carrying it a little too far.

It also appears that the alleged victim picked her attackers from a lineup composed solely of team members. This violates about every rule in law enforcement about setting up a lineup.

So how many times did the police interview the suspects before taking the case to the grand jury? Zero. How many times have they interviewed them since? Once again, zero.

In a slight defense of the Durham police, they did attempt to visit the dorm rooms of team members one Sunday and talk to members without their attorneys present. Bad news guys, even athletes at Duke have heard of the Constitution.

How many times has DA and "vote whore" Mike Nifong met with the suspects or their lawyers? Once gain, the big O, zero.

How much evidence did the grand jury hear before rubber stamping "Vote Whore" Nifong's request for an indictment? No one's talking, but in a session lasting less than six hours, they handed down a total of more than eighty indictments in a number of cases. How much attention could the two from Duke have received??

Is it just a coincidence that the second "dancer" changed her story after her bond in an unrelated case was reduced in a deal that "Vote whore" Nifong signed off on?

Just yesterday, the cab driver who claims that he transported suspect Seligmann home that night, was arrested on a three year old warrant for theft. What are the odds that this is an attempt by the police and the "Vote Whore" to get him to change his story??

Despite the fact that his constituency is ALL of the residents of Durham County, DA (dumb ass) and "Vote Whore" Nifong has not held any meetings at Duke like he has held at North Carolina Central. Why??

Since this issue seems to be dividing along racial lines, the question begs asking. Did Mike Nifong prostitute himself and the law to get the votes of black citizens and win his election campaign?? I

Freudian slip of the Week

I drove to Camp LeJeune yesterday to pick up a few surplus purchases. It is a little over 200 miles from home to the base so I always stop at a rest area on I-40 that is about at the halfway mark. This usually means that my first order of business upon arriving at the DRMO is to go to the restroom. But to get to the DRMO, I first have to stop at the Visitor Center to get a pass to go onto the base. Normally, no problem there.

Since Marines sense fear and indecision in others, you must be decisive when dealing with them at the Visitor Center. I usually go in, place all the required ID and other forms on the counter and announce, "I need a pass to pick up at the DRMO". This eliminates most of the questions from the Marines behind the counter. I guess that yesterday the bathroom urge was too strong and I walked in, placed my paperwork on the counter, and announced, " I need to piss up a pack at the DRMO". The Marine fell off of his stool laughing. I was laughing and corrected my previous request. I got my pass without any problems. He got a story he probably spent the day sharing with other Marines.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Thoughts from the Road

I made a couple of trips in the last two weeks to pick up some military surplus purchases. One trip took me to Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania and the other to Norfolk. My younger son went to Mechanicsburg with me but I went to Norfolk alone. Riding alone affords my mind the chance to wander as opposed to answering stimulating questions from my son such as "Are we there yet?"

So without further adieu, some observations from the road.

1. The gas tax in Virginia is 12 cents lower than in North Carolina, so naturally gas is about five cents cheaper in Virginia. That's right FIVE cents in savings by eliminating TWELVE cents in taxes. I never took economics but I am guessing that some oil company is making an extra seven cents a gallon on the deal. Don't wait for that admission from ANY oil company!!

2. There are no two words less understood on the highway than YIELD and MERGE. There's nothing like watching some idiot rocket down the ramp to the highway and then hit their brakes rather than merging. OR they just pull into your lane and wait for you to stop for them.
On US 29 somewhere in northern Virginia, I saw a sign on the lane leading to the highway that read "Merged traffic must yield". It's a shame that the idiot in that lane didn't read or understand the sign. He instead chose to cut me off in my lane at 60 miles per hour. I am putting one of those "Horn Broken, Watch for finger" bumper stickers on the truck before my next trip north.

3. I-81 is obviously some tributary to a NASCAR speedway. I was in the right lane going about 70 MPH and had several drivers get on my rear bumper and flash their lights. Hey pal!! Where the hell am I going to go? Forget the "Horn broken" bumper sticker, I am going with the "Warning! Driver carries only $50 in ammunition!" sticker.

4. Hardee's has improved their burgers but worsened their service. In South Hill, Virginia on Friday, I stopped for a burger. From the time I walked in the door to the time I walked out with my burger, seventeen minutes elapsed. Remember fast food??

5. The Crossroads Store is located about 8 miles south of Charlottesville on US 29. The sandwiches there are better than Subway, etc. and the service much faster. If I am in the neighborhood, I always stop there.

Time to go unload my purchases. It's like Christmas looking through the boxes of things that Uncle Sam has declared surplus.