Monday, January 28, 2008

Monday Moments

A new group of racists surfaced in South Carolina on Saturday. Obama won the Democratic primary over Hillary with John Edwards somewhere in a distant third. Hopes that Edwards would drop out turned out to be premature. Obama won with 80% of the black vote. People who base decisions on the color of someone's skin are, by definition, racists. So for all you folks who voted for Obama because you want him to be the first black President, you are racists.

South Carolina, too small to be a country, too big to be an asylum.

Fred Thompson has allegedly dropped out of the Republican race for President. I am still searching for evidence that he ever was in the race. Evidently, there was no "political Viagra" available to help his campaign.

Rumors that there is a Republican candidate named Rudy continue to surface in Florida. No one has actually seen him, but the rumors of a campaign persist. He's doing so badly that he trails John Edwards, even in the Republican polls.

Only six more days to the most over-hyped event of the year, the Super Bowl. Mercifully, I can't remember the number or actually, the Roman numeral of this year's game. The all day snooze-athon starts early in the day. I have heard that there is actually a football game somewhere between the commercials.

Actor Heath Ledger died last week from unknown causes. His masseuse called 911 AFTER placing three calls to Mary Kate Olsen over a ten minute period. Note to my family and friends: If you find me unconscious and naked on the bed, hold your laughter long enough to call 911. I don't even know Mary Kate Olsen.

Last week, one of our customers came in with a "Kucinich For President" button. I guess that they were out of the "Lyndon LaRouche for President" buttons. I really miss Lyndon's campaign rants. One of my favorites was his claim that "Ed Muskie is a stooge of the Soviet KGB". He could have just stopped at "stooge".

I have to get to sleep before the State of the Union speech starts. The video Sominex (It never matters who is the President) starts in about an hour. My wife lives in fear that I will do my Elvis impression and pop a few caps into the TV if I watch it.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

It's not always funny

On Thursday, January 17, Sayed Rawi was robbed and murdered at his store on Highway 158 in Caswell County. My family and I had known Sayed for several years. While his store was not on my normal travel route, I would stop there every week or two to discuss politics and the changing socio-economic trends in Caswell County. Yes, that translates to a B.S. session. Sayed was an artist who operated a store as a way to have a place to paint and display his work. My art IQ is pretty low, so I am not sure that I understood his work, but it was pretty good. A few years ago, The Center for Creative Leadership in Greensboro had a show of his work. My family and I attended the opening night reception there and we were almost as excited as he was about the reactions of other people to his work.

On Thursday, with school cancelled due to weather, three young black men entered his store, robbed him, and shot him to death. Within 12 hours, the three had been arrested and charged with his murder.

On Friday morning, I went to the Caswell County Courthouse for details on the first hearing for the three killers. I arrived around 10:00 A.M. and sat listening to the twenty or so family members of the killers discuss the incident. Many wondered how their children could have done such a terrible thing. Several were concerned about the death penalty in the case. The talk around the courthouse and among family members was that the 16 year old had confessed to shooting Sayed twice in the face. The police had arrested two of the killers a couple of hours later not more than 15 miles away in the car described by witnesses as the getaway car. Questioning of those two led to the arrest a few hours later of the 16 year old. By the time of the hearing Friday, the Sheriff's Department apparently had the three killers, a confession, the car, evidence from the store in the car, the weapon, and the person from whom the weapon was obtained.

Around noon, we were told that the hearing would be at 2:00 P.M., so I went to lunch and returned around 1:30. At that point a reporter and cameraman from Channel 8 arrived to cover the story. The change in family member attitudes was incredible!! The same people who only a couple of hours earlier had been wondering how their children had gone astray, were now claiming that the wrong people had been arrested. One women who was interviewed claimed "He wouldn't do anything like that." Only a few hours from honest concern to a state of denial unmatched in recent history.

At the hearing, the three were denied bond and informed of the charges against them. All were charged with First Degree Murder and Robbery with a dangerous weapon. The 16year old cannot face the death penalty because of his age, but it is being pursued against the 18 year old and the 20 year old. Two of the three are students, and none has a job, other than robbing and killing.

Over the weekend I read several stories about Martin Luther King Day and the need that we still have for better race relations. It was the same drivel that I read every year on this subject. This year I have a new starting point on how to improve race relations. We could all get along better if your kids weren't robbing and killing my friends.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Does anyone in government understand "illegal"??

The folks who run the North Carolina Community College system have decided that all community colleges must admit illegal immigrants. Apparently the word "illegal" is not easily understood by "educators". As a taxpayer and a citizen, I am more than a little curious as to why my tax dollars should be used to educate those who are here illegally. Perhaps Governor Sleasley, pardon me, Governor Easley, could take a moment and explain this to me. Incidentally, none of the announced candidates for governor supports this idea.

In a moment of complete boredom yesterday, I looked at an issue of Pravda (Time Magazine). An article by the famed leftist Joe Klein caught my eye. Mr. Klein wrote about Presidential candidates being stunned to find out that the leading issue among voters is illegal immigration. Mr. Klein then explained how illegal immigrants actually contribute more in taxes than they use in government services. Of course, he does not actually offer any data to support these claims. I started to write a letter to Pravda rebutting Mr. Klein's statements, but I have been unable to get past my opening statement, "Bullshit!" Possibly I can work through this writer's block later in the week.

Erskine Bowles, perennial Senatorial candidate and president of the University of North Carolina System, says that we need to admit illegal aliens to the UNC system and at in-state tuition rates. Bowles claims that to do otherwise would "Create a permanent underclass." The only "permanent underclass" that I am worried about Bowles creating is the underclass of TAXPAYERS who have to fund his views.

I am more than a little confused on this whole issue. As an employer, I have to make sure that my employees all have the legal right to work in this country OR I can be fined. In the meantime, the state wants to admit people who cannot legally work here to a state college, where I can subsidize their education. When they get out of school, I still can't legally hire them for the job that I subsidized their training for in school. Why would we do this?????

Breaking News!!! I-80 Shut down!

Interstate 80 in Iowa has been shut down this morning as a mob of loose hogs has filled the highway. Trampling campaign signs across the state, the herd of hogs, estimated to number more than two million by the Iowa Hogway Patrol, seems unable to determine their future direction. Analysts from all the major networks seem to agree that the hogs are simply reflecting the actions of their owners.

In Thursday's caucuses, Iowa Demoncrats overwhelmingly supported Obama, a man who many feel should be president because Oprah endorses him. Apparently this is enough for most Demoncrats. In related news, police have acknowledged that Miss Winfrey,the famed yo-yo dieter, billionairess, African schoolmarm, and the person most to blame for Dr. Phil (How's that working for you?)is being stalked by a candidate known only as Rudy. Rudy first came to Miss Winfrey's attention when he claimed "I took over a city that was known for pornography and licked it." Winfrey is reportedly uneasy about the sight of even a pseudo-Republican such as Rudy on her show. However, her aides are confident that if Rudy can prove the "I licked it" comment, he will be summoned by the TV queen for an audience, possibly an endorsement. Your reporter feels that this may involve more licking than even Rudy is capable of handling.

From the Repulsivecan side of the hog house comes word that Huck Finn is the big winner in Iowa. Apparently Iowans could not separate Romney, presidential candidate, from Romney, the automatic feeder used in most hog parlors. Rudy, John, Fred, and others are reportedly snowed in at an American Legion Post somewhere in Iowa shaking babies and kissing the hands of ugly women. No word on their survival outlook.

Back to the hogs, dawg! (It's American Idle season, again.) The herd o'hogs is torn between heading to Illinois to follow Obama or to Arkansas with Huck Finn. It is too early to call, but the road to Arkansas, where hogs are worshipped at the University of Arkansas seems the likely path. To head to Illinois and the Chicago Board of Trade would seem unlikely. That herd would almost certainly end up before a federal grand jury for insider trading in pork bellies.

Maybe the Hampshires among the hogs will head to New Hampshire???

Thursday, January 03, 2008

The News & Record

Landmark Communications, owner of the Greensboro News & Record and several other papers has announced that they have retained a company to explore the sale of their business. One of their blogs invited readers to tell them what changes they would make in the paper, with the note to "be kind". As I doubt that many people actually read those blogs, I have copied my comments here.

If the News & Record is sold, it will be for the same reasons that most privately owned businesses are sold as the founder ages, TAXES. The irony of the N&R being sold because the founding family doesn't want the tax burden of keeping it, is music to the ears of those who have disagreed with your politics over the years.
Here's a simple change that will keep your paper around for years, "Talk to your customers!" For years, you have abused your status as a virtual monopoly in Greensboro. As readership shifted to online sources, you raised advertising rates to make up the difference in revenue. As an example, you destroyed People and Places, the Sunday tabloid section. You created the Guilford Record in several editions to replace it. Now to reach the same readers costs several times as much. The business that I manage used to advertise weekly in People and Places. Now we have found that while we can't do that in the Guilford Record because of the cost, it doesn't matter. Our customers, who used to read People and Places every Sunday, line the kitty litter box with the Guilford Record. Thanks for saving us the extra money! We advertised in People and Places for years, did anyone from the N&R talk to us before you killed it off? Of course not, what would we know?
Before all the Rhino lovers chime in, the Rhino is worth what you pay for it. I was a right wing extremist BEFORE it was fashionable and I rate the Rhino right up there with the Guilford Record.
The Sound of the Beep is a trail of swill that mars an otherwise mediocre high school newspaper.

Happy New Year!!

Yes, I celebrate the New Year with the same partying and revelry that I use to greet each new day.

Customer question that I overheard at work the other day, "What's the difference between a vegetable omelet and a vegetable omelet with cheese?" There's been no spike in the average IQ in the New Year!

A customer called last week to see if we would be open New Year's Day, I told her that we would. She then asked if we would be serving collards and black eye peas. I assured her that we would not be serving those. Why not? The smell of collards cooking makes me gag. I'm guessing that she ate somewhere else on New Year's Day.

The prevailing superstition in the South is that eating greens on New Year's Day will bring you riches. Just for the record, you will make more money going to work than sitting at home eating greens.

The Iowa caucuses are tonight. The state where hogs outnumber humans about 5 to 1 is trying to tell us who our next president should be. I would rather eat collards than pay attention to Iowa. John Edwards should win the Democratic side in Iowa. He's been there the last two years campaigning. If you live in Iowa and haven't met Edwards, you are in some kind of witness protection program. The Iowa caucuses are such a waste of time that I'm looking forward to the New Hampshire primary. That's the one where the 245 voters of New Hampshire offer us their opinions on the next candidates. Obama, Hillary, Breck Girl, offer the same range of choices as Larry, Moe, Curley. I won't even get into the lack of candidates on the Republican side. Hell, why not? Insane McCain, McCain-Feingold, any need to say more? Huckabee, sorry Huck Finn, but I wouldn't vote for another governor of Arkansas on a bet. Rudy, call me when you become a real Republican, northeastern Republicans are just Democrats in drag. Romney, nice guy, where did he get all those flip-flops? Watch as the automatron changes position without knocking a hair out of place. Fred Thompson, hot wife according to all who support him. Maybe she should run. Sorry guys, he's not another Reagan. Ron Paul, good ideas, some crazy ideas, should be writing a blog instead of running. No chance, but entertaining.

In the "news" the other day, Jessica Simpson is going to record a country music album. Having grown up listening to country music on the Waffle House jukebox, this is about as exciting as hearing that Tiny Tim albums are on sale at the Dollar Tree. I have seen Jessica's future and it can be found at , go see for yourself.

In just a few more days, all of the New Year's Day bowl games should be over. This is The Longest Day.