Monday Moments

A new group of racists surfaced in South Carolina on Saturday. Obama won the Democratic primary over Hillary with John Edwards somewhere in a distant third. Hopes that Edwards would drop out turned out to be premature. Obama won with 80% of the black vote. People who base decisions on the color of someone's skin are, by definition, racists. So for all you folks who voted for Obama because you want him to be the first black President, you are racists.

South Carolina, too small to be a country, too big to be an asylum.

Fred Thompson has allegedly dropped out of the Republican race for President. I am still searching for evidence that he ever was in the race. Evidently, there was no "political Viagra" available to help his campaign.

Rumors that there is a Republican candidate named Rudy continue to surface in Florida. No one has actually seen him, but the rumors of a campaign persist. He's doing so badly that he trails John Edwards, even in the Republican polls.

Only six more days to the most over-hyped event of the year, the Super Bowl. Mercifully, I can't remember the number or actually, the Roman numeral of this year's game. The all day snooze-athon starts early in the day. I have heard that there is actually a football game somewhere between the commercials.

Actor Heath Ledger died last week from unknown causes. His masseuse called 911 AFTER placing three calls to Mary Kate Olsen over a ten minute period. Note to my family and friends: If you find me unconscious and naked on the bed, hold your laughter long enough to call 911. I don't even know Mary Kate Olsen.

Last week, one of our customers came in with a "Kucinich For President" button. I guess that they were out of the "Lyndon LaRouche for President" buttons. I really miss Lyndon's campaign rants. One of my favorites was his claim that "Ed Muskie is a stooge of the Soviet KGB". He could have just stopped at "stooge".

I have to get to sleep before the State of the Union speech starts. The video Sominex (It never matters who is the President) starts in about an hour. My wife lives in fear that I will do my Elvis impression and pop a few caps into the TV if I watch it.