Gilbert's Guide to Goober's Gaffes

 The Goober-in-Chief has a national speech planned for tonight on "threats to democracy". How he will do this without talking about the Democratic Party and himself remains a mystery. Inquiring minds don't even exist in the news media, so no one actually cares

On their website Merriam-Webster defines "gaffe" as this: Definition of gaffe

1: a social or diplomatic blunder

2: a noticeable mistake

President Goober is not making gaffes, Goober is telling lies. We have spent the last seven years listening to the "news" media call Donald Trump a "liar". Have you heard or seen anyone in the mainstream media use that term with Goober? Of course not, they are too busy sucking up to report the truth. The media doesn't just kiss Goober's ass, they lick it dry!

The media furloughed all of their "factcheckers" on the day that Goober was inaugurated and won't bring them back until the next Presidential campaign begins.

So, to help you through the next several months, here are a few "gaffes" that are in fact, lies. 

1. Beau Biden died in Iraq. He actually died in Maryland, several years after leaving Iraq. My brother-in-law died last year from cancer caused by Agent Orange exposure. We don't tell people that he died in Vietnam.

2. Goober got an appointment to the Naval Academy after having graduated from a four-year college. No one goes from a four-year college to the Naval Academy.

3. Goober attended an HBCU, Delaware State. He repeated this one the other day. His Press Secretary said that he gets that mixed up with the University of Delaware, which he actually attended. If he only he didn't claim that he attended an HBCU?

4. Goober has often claimed that he graduated in the top half of his class at Syracuse Law School. He graduated 76th in a class of 85. He probably failed math at Delaware or Delaware State. You pick!

5. In a speech recently, Goober claimed that gas was $5 a gallon when he took office. It was actually about $2.39.  Are we back to he failed math at Delaware, Delaware State, or the Naval Academy?

All of these things could be easily verified by the mainstream media, but they won't do that. Why not?

Shoot your television!!