To Tell the Truth??

 The alleged news media is awash with stories about Joe Biden switching from using a podium microphone to using a handheld microphone. They all claim that he is much more at ease speaking with the handheld microphone. That switching the type of microphone would result in this level of news coverage by the media says more about the banality of our news reporting than it does about microphones.

Why is this such a big story? Biden has been in public office for the last fifty years; did podium microphones suddenly change? If the goal was to make him more comfortable, why not just mic him up like they do on television shows? That way he won't need to hold anything. 

This is such a trivial detail that one wonders, what are they trying to really distract people from noticing? It's a rainy Monday morning here in Piedmont North Carolina, so I have time to go full conspiracy theory on this issue of national media interest. Let's get started!

Maybe the handheld microphone works like those training collars for dogs. If he starts talking about something that the handler doesn't approve, they hit him with a little voltage to stop his train of thought. The problem there is that with Biden's tendency to wander mentally and verbally, it would require a battery pack the size of a full field pack.

Maybe we need to shock the news media into reporting. The country is drowning in a sea of inflated prices and politicians want us to go to war for Ukraine, but here are the three items covered by the mainstream media this week. 1. Biden switched microphone types. 2. Biden ordered chocolate chip ice cream at Baskin-Robbins. 3. Biden ordered chicken enchiladas and paid for them himself. What's really going on in the world? These things should have only been news if Biden had ordered chicken enchiladas at Baskin-Robbins.

"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain". While CNN focuses like a laser on Biden's choice of microphones, what else is going on in that scene? No one knows. We just know that Biden is actually "holding" a microphone. Will inflation start dropping? Who knows, but doesn't Biden look great holding that microphone? Yeah, so much for breaking news.

Here's my personal theory on this. Feel free to laugh it you want. I think that they have switched microphones because they have switched the person using the microphone. The media keeps saying "He is so much at ease with a handheld mic." That's because he's a different human being!!

More than fifty years ago at a Waffle House in Tampa, I met the "parade double" for Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame and fortune. It was early one morning, and he was in town to ride in a parade. He looked like Colonel Sanders to me, and I saw him from a distance of four or five feet. If The Colonel rates a double, surely the Commander-in-Chief does.  If there is a Biden double, he would not be the first world leader to have a double. There are doubles for actors, why not doubles for demented Democrats? "Demented Democrat Doubles"? That could be a new definition of 3-D.

Why switch microphones to use a double? Because you get him off the podium and into the crowd. At the podium, the cameras and the crowd focus on Biden. He is the center of attention at the podium. If he is in a crowd, there is not as much detail noticeable. The television audience is watching what is happening around Biden. The only time that they focus on Biden is when he eats chocolate chip ice cream. Let's face it, one demented old fart looks like every other old fart when they are eating ice cream.

I ran this theory by my censor, and they asked, "How does the double sound and talk like Joe Biden?" My response was simple, "Ever heard of Rich Little?" Rich Little has made his living for the past 60 years impersonating other people. Do you think that he is the only one with that talent?

Will they still roll out the real Joe for Presidential appearances? Yes, they have to keep him because he can't deliver the State of the Union speech wandering the House chamber carrying a microphone. 

All of this reminds me of the old television show "To Tell the Truth". Will the real President Biden please stand up?