Texas Pete and the New Standard for Frivolous Lawsuits?

This week in California an idiot, Phillip White, represented by the Clarkson Law Firm, ambulance chasers, filed suit against the makers of Texas Pete Hot Sauce. They want the firm to change the name of their product because it is not made in Texas. They want class action damages for the trauma caused by the stupidity of Californians who cannot read the label on the bottle telling them that the product is made in North Carolina.

Here's some more product information that Californians, who are obviously the dumbest folks on God's green earth, need to know. 

The California Angels are not real Angels. The San Francisco Giants are not real giants. Most of them are average height. The San Francisco 49ers are not real 49ers. Most of the real 49ers died looking for gold in the 19th century. Not only that, but they don't even play in San Francisco. The Los Angeles Dodgers aren't dodging anything. Judging by their record, the Oakland Athletics are barely athletic. The Los Angeles Lakers have nothing to do with lakes. The Golden State Warriors have never fought an actual war. Not only that, but California is hardly "golden". The Dallas Cowboys are neither real cowboys nor do they actually play in Dallas. The New Orleans Saints are far from being Saints, The Atlanta Falcons and the Seattle Seahawks aren't really birds. The Carolina Panthers play more like pussycats, but does any law firm in California care? What do the Washington Commanders command? Is the Clarkson Law Firm suing any of these folks?

Just for my last shot at sports, this thought. For some unknown reason, NASCAR races in California. The Chevrolets, Fords, and Toyotas that they race are not real Chevrolets, Fords, and Toyotas. Does the Clarkson Law Firm know this?

Here's some more food facts for Californians who think that Texas Pete must be made in Texas. French fries aren't made in France. Swedish pancakes aren't made in Sweden. Belgian waffles aren't made in Belgium. Texas toast isn't all from Texas. Kansas City BBQ sauce isn't all from Kansas City. There's no rib in a McRib. There is no actual part of a chicken called the "tender". New England clam chowder is not all from New England. New York strips are never raised in New York City. Manhattan Clam Chowder is not made in Manhattan. Most Kentucky Fried Chicken is not cooked in Kentucky. Church's Chicken is not from a church and Popeye has nothing to do with the chicken at Popeye's. Mr. Bojangles neither plays music nor dances at Bojangles Chicken & Biscuits, The French Toast at IHOP is not from France. For you real morons in California, the Waffle House is not made out of waffles. Hawaiian Punch is not from Hawaii, it started in California!!  Almost 90 years later, no one has sued them. Is there a home field advantage here?

When did you last see a bottle of Russian dressing that was actually from Russia? Is Ranch Dressing made on a ranch? Where's the manufacturing source for French and Italian dressing? Is all of that imported? Are there really a thousand islands in a serving of 1000 Island dressing?  Is White House vinegar made at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Are Buffalo wings all made in Buffalo? Do we even want to discuss Boston butts? 

Here's my last shot at Californians and food. Is Taco Bell really Mexican food or have they been deceiving people? Taco Bell was started 60 years ago by Glen Bell. Glen had served as a cook in the Marine Corps in World War 2. He had a couple of other fast-food places before opening Taco Bell in 1962. The world's biggest Mexican food chain was started by a white guy. Who knew?

By now even the slow among you get the point. The Clarkson Law Firm should be dissolved for filing such a frivolous suit and compelled to compensate the folks at Texas Pete for any expenses they incur in defending themselves from "California Dreamers' looking for an easy payday. Phillip White should be sentenced to stand on a street corner in Los Angeles holding a sign that reads, "Will work for Brains".