Meaningful and Meaningless Monday Minutiae

 The World Cup is live on television today. WOW!! This is almost as dull as watching the Jan 6 Committee taking turns kissing each other's ass.

Soccer is a sport that needs a shot clock. 

Soccer players like to slide across the grass on their knees after scoring a goal. I have spent the last 69 years trying not to slide on the grass.

The real show in soccer is the fans in the stands. In the five minutes that I watched today I had to remind myself about a dozen times that "fan" is short for fanatic.

Lots of people are angry that beer is not being sold at the World Cup. Look at those loons in the stands and tell me why we would even consider adding alcohol to that mix. Reminds me a little of the old Andy Capp comic strip.

In July of 1986 there was a column in the sports section of the local paper that was good enough that I clipped it out and saved it. I dragged it out of a file cabinet 36 years later this morning so that I could share it during the World Cup. It was written by Scott Ostler of the LA Times. At age 75 Scott still writes, but now for the San Francisco Chronicle. 

Here's the best line of the column, "Soccer? You have to wonder about any sport where the worldwide goal total is regularly exceeded by the body count. If racing is the sport of kings, soccer spectating is the sport of coroners." Remember that the next time somebody claims they need beer to be sold in the stands at the World Cup.

From the "There's a sucker born every minute" file, this pearl. The University of Nebraska has hired Matt Rhule who was fired by the Carolina Panthers a few weeks ago. They are actually paying him as much, if not a little more, than Carolina was paying him. Maybe Congress needs to form a select committee to study this whole practice.

Joe Biden now wants to ban semi-automatic weapons. A couple of weeks ago he wanted to ban "assault weapons". No one is sure exactly what Joe wants to ban, other than banning people who don't vote Democratic. His lead liar, KJP, has not yet tried to clarify exactly what Sleepy Joe meant to say. Maybe Jill has not decided yet about what Joe meant? 

After removing Republicans from Congressional Committees, Democrats are now claiming that they can't be removed from committees when Republicans take power in a few weeks.

Ever wondered what happened to the "ruby slippers" from the Wizard of Oz? Donald Trump bought them at an auction. The Wicked Witch, Hillary Clinton, keeps trying to get them away from Trump but her magic is not strong enough. While Hillary and her army of flying monkeys try to get the ruby slippers from Trump, other Republicans are going to take the New Republican Party on to better things. Meanwhile, Hillary continues to deny that there is "powerful magic" in those slippers. What does Hillary know?  I heard that Monica Lewinsky wore those slippers, but maybe on her knees.