Monday, May 30, 2011

Memorable Monday?

Yes, I know that it is Memorial Day today. This is not about what Memorial Day is supposed to be, it's about what it has become.

The day took a bad turn early when one of the busboys called to tell me that he didn't know if he would be able to get to work today. I explained that he was fifty minutes late at the time he called and he should hurry in to work. He never made it! Someday in the future, he will be talking to friends and it will go something like this, "Hey, Bro! Remember when I got fired on Memorial Day?"

The Marine Corps League stages a flag raising ceremony at the shopping center on Memorial Day. After the ceremony, they come to the restaurant for breakfast. This morning we had about 45 show up for breakfast. As they were leaving after breakfast, I was up at the register helping the cashier. One man was paying his check and said "Where's the guy who paid all of our checks a couple of years ago? I could sure use him now." I explained to him, "First, it wasn't a guy, it was a woman and she's not here this morning." He responded with the stupid question of the day. "Are you sure that it was a woman?" I explained it a little more, "Yes, SHE is a woman. She's a regular customer and I will bet the farm that she's a woman. Got any more questions?" His wife was laughing. She said, "Some of these guys have been trying to figure out who their benefactor was. They all figured that it was probably some old guy or a retired Marine. I guess that they were all wrong." She was still taunting him as they headed out the door.

In the good news department, one of the cashiers showed up an hour early. Since we needed a cashier earlier than scheduled, this worked out well. Thanks, Pat.

Memorial Day is the unofficial start of summer. It is also when those who are more stylish than I am start wearing lighter colors and whites. Pink shirt, yes. White pants or shoes, not a chance!!

Speaking of fashion, let's work on bringing back the concept of modesty. Evidently, today marked the start of some kind of "breast-athon". There were more low cut blouses on women today than I could stand. Hey girls!! How about leaving a little to the imagination?

Don't worry guys, there's some room for improvement in the way that you are dressing also. Fat guys, small t-shirts, what more can I say? If you can't look down and see your feet, give up on the muscle type shirts. Or get some muscles.

On the way home, I had to stop at Target and Harris Teeter. Both stores were busy and filled with customers who made those folks at the restaurant look good. Can we get a law outlawing spandex? I'm only grateful that I didn't go to Wal-Mart.

If you are a professional who specializes in laser hair removal, please go to either store and hand out some business cards or coupons. I don't think that those people will need all that hair to get through the summer.

What was the best thing for me about today? Breyers ice cream, 2 for $5 at Harris Teeter. I'm not fat, my body retains ice cream.


At 3:34 PM, Blogger pat said...

no problem Gilbert, glad my awful memory could come in handy, haha


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