One-liners and more

 Hunter Biden came out against illegal immigration in a televised interview just before Christmas. This is why Republicans still believe in Santa Claus.

Does Hunter 's latest statement mean that he's not servicing Jill anymore?

Tyler Robinson, the killer of Charlie Kirk, is trying to have the entire team of prosecutors dismissed because they received text messages about the murder before they were on the prosecution team. Why don't Robinson's lawyers just try to prove that the son of a bitch didn't do it??

Robinson was in a relationship with a man trying to transition to a woman. Is that only a temporary homosexual relationship? I am sure that I don't understand that. If I were his lawyer, I might go with the insanity defense.

Let's not forget Luigi Mangione. New York should convict him and hang that piece of crap in Times Square. Police in Altoona should have shot him when they found the pistol magazine wrapped in a pair of wet underwear in his backpack.

Mangione and Robinson are walking ads for capital punishment. Also, for birth control. Somewhere, there are a couple of fathers who wished that they had just jerked off on that night, instead.

Churches who are redoing their Nativity scenes to support illegal immigration need to go back and read their Bibles again. Or maybe for the first time?

Gasoline at Sam's was $2.26 a gallon the other day in Danville, Virginia. In California, gas is between $5 and $6 a gallon. Remember that when Greasy Gavin runs for President. 

A consultant is a guy who knows one thousand ways to make love but doesn't know any women.

Thanks to Elon Musk and the Tesla Cyber Truck for knocking the 1975 AMC Pacer out of first place in the "Ugliest Vehicle Ever Made" competition.

The Cyber Truck is so ugly, that if were a gas-powered vehicle, it would have to sneak up on a gas pump to fill up.

Democrats are in danger of overdosing on the pictures of Bill Clinton in the Jeffrey Epstein photo collections.

Did they take pictures of Epstein with Michael Jackson because Epstein didn't know any real black pedophiles?

Why don't we ever see anything about female pedophiles on the news? 

Why are taxpayer funded universities giving scholarships to guys who make thousands, if not millions of dollars in NIL money? Colleges are just subsidizing a minor league pro football team.

Let's impeach Judge Boasberg first.

How badly does the business environment suck in California? Valero is spending about $1.1 billion to close their California refinery and leave the "Golden State".

This is the time of the year when Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D) likes to talk about his military service. He used to claim that he had been in Vietnam. It turned out that he ran the Toys for Tots drive in Washington, DC. Today, he would be safer in Vietnam than DC.

Since Dims are all excited about pedophiles, let's have them release Ashley Biden's diary where she wrote about showering with her father. The FBI had to recover her diary after she left it in a halfway house somewhere in the rehab process. They didn't put the FBI on the case because it mentioned some guy named Biff.

Why didn't Conan O'Brien just call the police when Rob Reiner's son Nick, caused a big disturbance at that Christmas party? 

Memo to self: Don't go to a Christmas party in California.

  

MADD?

No, this post isn't about Mothers Against Drunk Driving. It's about an epidemic sweeping our nation, Media Attention Deficit Disorder. This is when the news media pays absolutely no attention to something that they were consumed by 48 hours earlier.

The nation spent six days consumed by the story of Claudio Manuel Neves Valente, who killed three people in a rampage across New England before killing himself a couple of days before police found him in a storage unit in New Hampshire.

For six days, you couldn't sling a dead cat without hitting a reporter trying to find someone who could identify the killer. Depending on your perspective on competence, the Providence police may or may not have been spearheading a search for Valente. 

Valente came to the United States and to Brown University in 2000 to study physics. He was not happy with the education offered at Brown, so he left there some time in 2001. In 2017 he became a legal permanent resident in the United States. On Saturday, December 13 he killed two and wounded several more students at Brown University. On Monday December 15, he killed an MIT Physicist at his home in Massachusetts. Following that, he drove to a storage unit in New Hampshire and killed himself.

Two people who were classmates of his at Brown have commented to the media about Valente. I wouldn't rate either's comments as being complimentary of the deceased killer. In a nation of 350 million people, apparently there were only two people who knew him.

It appears that the media has lost all interest in the murderer. They are suffering from a case of "Media Attention Deficit Disorder". Once he was dead, nobody cared anymore. On to another media created crisis. 

We haven't seen such a sudden loss of interest in a killer since Donald Trump was shot in Pennsylvania. A few days later, the media was no longer interested.  What was the shooter's name? Rather than take a chance that you will quit reading this to go look it up, I will tell you that his name was Thomas Crooks. Actually, his full name was Thomas Matthew Crooks. I threw in the middle name to heighten the chances that you will remember his name. If you don't believe that will help you remember his name, who allegedly killed JFK? Lee Harvey Oswald. Who allegedly killed MLK? James Earl Ray. The memory retention rate is higher with the middle name. At least, that's my theory.

But back to Claudio Valente, what do we know about him today that we didn't know on Friday? Not a damn thing. The news people have lost their interest in the case. In their world, it's just one more immigrant killing a few people. That happens on a regular basis in this country. So, they don't want to talk about it anymore. 

I am a little more curious than the alleged "reporters" covering this story. Here are a few thoughts. What has Valente been doing the last 23 or 24 years? Did he have a job? What kind of work did he do? Was he a physicist somewhere?   Was he teaching? Was he married? Had he remained living in this country, or did he go back home? Did he live anywhere? Did he have neighbors? Did he just spend the last 23 years planning these murders? Did anybody in this country know him? Isn't anyone who "identifies" as a reporter the least bit curious about this guy?

I am inclined to believe that none of these questions are being addressed by the news media because they are afraid of the answers. They are afraid of any more bad publicity about immigrants. Rather than address the issue, they avoid the issue by not reporting.  That's one of the problems with a "free" press.

There is one fact concerning Valente about which I am certain. Valente is certainly not a follower of President Donald Trump. How can I be certain? Because if he was a Trumper, it would be on every television news show in the nation. There would not be a newspaper in the country published without that story on the front page! I can see it now; MAGA Maniac Murderer Slays Three Scientists!! Film at 11:00.

Kerry Me Back?

Democrats are aflame after the Kennedy Center board decided to rename the center as the Trump-Kennedy Center. Kerry Kennedy claims that she will go down there on January 20, 2029, with a pickaxe and remove the Trump name. Just another sad case of Trump Derangement Syndrome.

I can't believe that they even kept the Kennedy name on the building. I don't want to further inflame the enraged Kennedy chick, but I don't think that balling Marilyn Monroe made John F. Kennedy a patron of the arts. Possibly someone needs to share with Kerry the stories of how JFK and Kerry's father RFK, passed Marilyn Monroe around like a loaner car. What was it about JFK's support of the arts that caused them to name the center for him? Wasn't there a massage parlor or spa up for a naming?

Let's be honest about this, Kerry. The Kennedy Center isn't like the Lincoln Memorial or the Washington Monument. Millions of people visit those monuments a year. The number of tourists who have the Kennedy Center on their must-see list is pretty limited. Much like the Kennedy Administration, the Kennedy Center exists only to keep some of the wealthier locals entertained. 

Will your late uncle be best remembered for the Bay of Pigs fiasco or sending US troops to the quaint Asian tourism hotspot of Vietnam? Will they one day discover that Lee Harvey Oswald was just another jealous husband with a rifle? I have a free minute, tell me about all of the great things that your uncle did during his Presidency. I hate to be brutally honest, but the main memory that most Americans have about John F. Kennedy is that he was assassinated. If you think that I am wrong, stop a stranger on the street and ask them to list the five top accomplishments of the Kennedy Presidency. Be prepared to wait.

Maybe as a liberal Democrat, you might remember when your tribe removed the names of anyone who was on the other side in the Civil War from any public building, park or street? At least, Trump left the Kennedy name on the building. Deranged Democrats like yourself want to remove any mention of Trump because of your unhinged and unlimited hatred of Donald Trump. You guys need to get someone to put together a twelve-step program for treating Trump Derangement Syndrome.

Let's be honest here. Your judgments about Trump and other conservatives are called into question by your fifteen-year marriage to Andrew Cuomo. WOW!! A woman who slept with Andrew Cuomo hates Republicans. That's like finding out that the world is round.

I saw some highlights of your driving record online. I can only assume that you are emulating your Uncle Teddy with his driving skills and habits. I will bet that you are never asked to drive the carpool.

Finally, a pickaxe might not be the best tool to stand on a ladder with and use to remove letters. That statement shows how out of touch with physical labor and actual work that Democrats really are. 

Foul Mouthed Friday?

Jussica Tarlov on The Five on the Fox News Network has caused the folks who write the English-Profanity Dictionary to redefine "Cunt".

 Nothing in history has ever been the fault of the Democratic Party. That's their story and they are sticking with it.

If Democrats are correct, they will all see Donald Trump again when they arrive in Hell. Safe travels, fellows!!

In nearby Randolph County, North Carolina the Public Library Board of Trustees voted 5-2 in October to keep a book about a transgender boy titled, "Call Me Max" on the library shelves. Last week on December 8, the Randolph Couty Board of Commissioners voted 3-2 to remove the Board of Trustees. There's a lesson in there for anyone interested in learning. Voters talk; trustees walk!

The whole transgender thing is a plot by drug companies and doctors.  What happened in our country that caused a massive outbreak suddenly in people who claimed that they were transgender?  What happened is that doctors and drug companies realized how much money that could make by performing life altering surgeries that would cause people to have to take expensive medications for the rest of their lives. Boys have given up doing things that would irritate their parents and instead are claiming that they have decided that they are really girls. Things like this are making parents wish that they had just watched a movie instead on the night that their child was conceived.

What kind of horseshit parent thinks that a six-year-old is qualified to make a decision that will mutilate them physically, compel them to a lifetime of expensive drugs and which they may regret before reaching adulthood? If your kid tells you that they want to be a Marine, do you ship them off to Parris Island for boot camp at age six?

Just to question the whole process here, if your child comes to you and says that they "identify" as an amputee, are you going to let them have a leg removed? Of course not, but sexual organs are okay to remove? If you believe that, your child is not the only one who needs professional mental help.

When I was a kid, the teacher's pet was either the smartest kid in the class or the kid who was the biggest brown noser. Now the teacher's pet is the boy who wants to get his dick lopped off or the girls who wants her breasts cut off and to get fitted for an artificial penis. We need to end this shit! 

If you decide to host a Christmas party and have everyone bring some kind of dish, don't invite Kameltoe Harris. All she will bring is that damned special recipe word salad. Well, that and one of those gallon boxes of cheap wine. And she is only bringing one glass.

It's been six days, and we haven't heard from a single student who was in that classroom at Brown University during the shooting. Are they using Maxwell Smart's Cone of Silence? Authorities will neither confirm nor deny that the shooter shouted something. Is the Providence police force really this incompetent? Before identifying a shooter, do they first have to determine whether or not he (or she) was a member of some "oppressed group"? 

There's a Keystone Cops remake being filmed at Brown University. In the background music is a loop playing "Car 54, Where Are You?" The radio is blasting "One Adam 12, See a man about some murders at Brown!" Andy has told Barney to put his bullet into his gun. 

Doing some research about the Providence police chief, I "Googled" his name and got an article about DEI hires and a picture of the Frito Bandito. But the Bandito was much taller. 

My favorite piece of asinine wisdom in the claims from Brown University is that the building was too old to have cameras. Have any of those schmucks been to or even heard of the White House? Yeah, there's more than a few cameras at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. By the way, the White House is a little more than 200 years old. I don't believe that there is a space open to the public where every square inch is not on camera. Yes Brown, you too, can install cameras in an old building.

I can't believe that with the tuition rates at Brown that every student doesn't have a personal security guard.

A few days before Christmas fifty years ago, I went to a meeting of Waffle House managers from our area. After the meeting, several of us gathered for dinner. One of the guys was telling us about how his youngest son had lost a tooth a couple of days earlier. He went into detail about how he and his wife had the boy put his tooth under his pillow for the tooth fairy. He also described the struggle to get the tooth out and put a dollar bill under the pillow without waking the boy. When he finished, one of the other guys said, "I know exactly what you are talking about." Knowing that the second guy was neither married nor had children, I asked. "How do you know anything about the tooth fairy, as you have no children." He replied, "Every night, I put a pair of women's panties under my pillow before I go to sleep." I asked the logical question, "Why?" He laughed and said, "I keep hoping that the pussy fairy will visit my house!" Fifty years later, I can still see all of those guys laughing.

Ending where I started, Fani Willis testified before a Georgia Senate committee yesterday. The cunt in question had hired a lawyer who had never tried a RICO case at a rate higher than ever paid by her office to any other lawyer. I can only assume that any man willing to ball her was entitled to the extra money. It's a moot point now, but since she claimed that the decision to prosecute Trump was hers alone, I offer this question. Why did her employee/lover/friend/ fuck buddy meet with the White House Counsel twice? Inquiring minds, and there are none in the Democratic Party or their wholly owned subsidiary, the news media, want to know.

Thank God It's Thursday!!

 Somewhere in the United States today, a federal district court judge issued a ruling against Donald Trump that will be overturned by a higher court in a few weeks. This is some kind of liberal judge's mental masturbation that makes no sense to the rest of the world. These decisions are a waste of time and money.

This is a problem caused by lack of accountability. In the last 230 years, there have been only fifteen federal judges impeached and only seven of those were removed. There is a better chance that a federal judge will be hit by a meteor than they will be removed from office. It's time for terms for federal judges. Frankly, I think that they should be limited to a single five-year term at each level. While we are at it, let's end retirement benefits for judges. Last, we need an age limit. I think that judges need to be between 40 and 75. I just don't think that anyone under forty has enough actual life experience to decide difficult cases. And I don't want to bet on the mental skills of everyone over seventy-five.

Moving on from morons in the judiciary, how about some term limits for Congress? I am sorry, but I just don't believe that government work should be a career field. Eighty-year-olds wanting to shake down the public should just do like the Somalis do in Minnesota. Call Tim Walz for more info and a complimentary corruption startup kit. 

If we have to subsidize Obamacare, solar panels, electric vehicles and windmills, are they really practical?  Would any solar panels be sold without the tax credits? The odds are good that we will soon have another government shutdown about Obamacare tax credits. 

Is turning American farmland into solar farms, wind farms and public housing really the best use of our limited land resources? Georgia Power likes to brag about this enormous "solar farm" that you drive by for miles on I-75. I am so old that I remember when we used to grow food in those fields. Food costs more because there is less land left to grow it on. Even the slow among you can grasp this concept.

The saying "Nothing lasts forever" is a concept not recognized by the federal government. The excise tax on tires started n 1918 to help finance World War 1. More than one hundred years later we still have those excise taxes. Apparently, excise taxes are where the rubber meets the road. In the old days, the rubber met the road when you tossed a condom out the window on Lovers' Lane. But I digress. My point is that taxes never die. Personal income taxes first started during the Civil War. Those were just "temporary". They didn't become permanent until 1913. 

As the polar ice caps continue to grow, I keep looking for one of those polar bears that Al Gore was so worried about, to float down the creek in our back yard. I will post a picture when he shows up. I went outside yesterday morning at 5:00. Our dog hasn't learned how to flush the toilet, so I just take her outside to annoy my neighbors at that hour. It was 11 degrees. Global warming, my ass!!

Former Michigan coach Sherrone Moore was fired for having a relationship with a subordinate. The subordinate was not terminated. I am sure that somewhere in America, a woman has been fired for having sex with a superior, but no one on the Internet has ever heard of it. I just can't believe that no woman has ever had sex with their boss hoping to get some special treatment or favor out of it. Who knew that they were all so innocent?

Boycotts and Other B.S.

 I read an article yesterday about the Canadian "boycott" of Florida. Ontario Premier Doug Ford said that he will be abstaining from his usual winter vacation in Florida. He claims that lots of other Canadians will not be traveling to Florida also.

I hate to burst the bubble of Mr. Ford's imagination, but I feel compelled to let some of the air out of his balloon. My mother dragged us to Florida when I was six years old. I lived there until I was thirty and then returned home to North Carolina. While working more than six years at the Waffle House in Florida, I learned all that I needed to know about Canadian tourists. 

The first thing to know about Canadians is that there are a lot of restaurant and other hospitality employees who would rather deal with a New Yorker than a Canadian. The old joke is, What's the difference between a canoe and a Canuck? The canoe will tip! There are a lot of waiters and waitresses celebrating at the news of a Canadian boycott. Beyond that, Canadian tourists are not known for their friendliness. "Haughty", "aloof", "pompous", and "arrogant" are all used to describe Canadian tourists. Pick the description you like and run with it. Memo to Canucks: Those New York license plates that you see all belong to other tourists. This is the South. Learn to love it!

The handling of the shooting at Brown University has risen to a score of 10 on the Cluster Scale. Is there anybody left from Barney Miller or Hawaii 5-0 who is still alive to help these guys? If not, we may have to deputize Gomer and Goober to help Barney Fife with this case.

It seems like everybody in America has a smartphone and takes pictures of everything. Tell people to check their selfies that they deleted because someone was in the background. That's probably the shooter who strayed into their selfie. 

There is a communication problem between government officials and the press corps covering the incident. I don't believe that the first team is playing on either side. One thing that is obvious to even me, is that there is no one clearly in charge of what is going on in Providence. 

I watched the twenty or thirty seconds of video that the Providence police are sharing. They have 800 cameras on the campus at Brown and most of the neighbors have Ring cameras. If those are all of the pictures of the killer that are available, he must have parachuted onto the campus. How about some video from the stores and restaurants in the area? He must at least have walked by some of these places on his way to the campus. 

What is the one thing about this about which I am absolutely certain? If that murdering SOB had been wearing a MAGA cap, his ass would have been in jail on Saturday night. 

In Biloxi, Mississippi yesterday, a 33-year-old woman from Texas was arrested for putting razor blades into loaves of bread at two Walmart stores. She also placed a fishing hook into one bakery item. No one has been injured, yet. If you guessed that she has facial tattoos, you are correct. 

No Topic Tuesday

 Democrats are releasing scores of photos of different people with Jeffrey Epstein. Really? My wife used to have a photo of Scotty McCreery (country singer) and me on her desk. Does that mean that I was once friends with Scotty? Of course not, it means that he did a concert at a Bojangles management conference and they took pictures of us there. Yeah, someone (Scotty) was being paid to pose with me and others.

One night at the Waffle House years ago, someone took a picture of Andre the Giant with two waitresses and me. Did Andre and I hang out together? No, we were just 3:00 AM Waffle House friends. I am pretty sure that I never met Epstein, and I am certain that I never made it to his island. I am certain that there is not an authentic photo of Epstein and me. What does all of this mean? It means that public figures (and even private figures like me) are not always actually involved with people with whom they are pictured in photographs.

Last word on this. People are selecting which photographs of Epstein they are releasing. Either give us all of them or none of them. Stop culling the herd!

I think that it is tragic that Rob Reiner was apparently killed by his son. Hopefully, he is not one of those people with conservative views that Rob Reiner was constantly trashing.

On several occasions, Reiner said that everything that Trump said was a lie. If this was true, why are people mad about what Trump has said today about Reiner? If Rob was right, wouldn't that make it all lies? In the meantime, direct me to all of the nice comments that Reiner made about Trump after the Pennsylvania shooting. 

My mother used to tell me, "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything." I don't recall ever taking that advice. I am going out on a limb here, but I am guessing that Trump didn't always listen to his mother, either.

If you have guessed by now that I am never asked to speak at funerals, you are correct. But to be honest, there have been a couple of times that I didn't wait for someone to ask me to speak. 

The search for the shooter at Brown University appears to be about a nine on the Cluster Chart. To be a ten, Barney Fife would have to be the lead investigator. 

I had my annual physical on Monday. Apparently, the odds are pretty good on my making it for another year. I am smart enough not to ask Trump for a comment.

Evidence that the liberals have hit bottom surfaced on Monday in a piece by the editorial board of the Washington Post. Incredibly enough, one of the most liberal newspapers in the nation said this in an editorial titled "Chicago has lost its mind".

The Post board wrote. "The mayor proposes to increase the tax on the lease of ‘personal property’ like computers, vehicles and software from 11 percent to 14 percent, and to bring back the city's ‘head tax,’ which would result in large employers paying $33 per worker, per month, By making it more expensive to do business or hire workers in the city, these measures threaten Chicago's future economic growth and tax collections."

WOW!! A liberal rag like the Washington Post is excoriating Brandon Johnson. It's a good day to be a right-wing extremist!! 

If I were a betting man, I would put some money on another government shutdown coming in the early New Year. Washington is filled with slow learners. The most anti-American group in the country is the Democratic Party. They will keep shutting down, because they want to punish Americans for voting for Trump.