300???

This is post number 300 on this blog. I started this in July, 2005 as away to vent about life's issues. I have averaged about one post a week. I'm still not sure that it works, but it has been fun.

I have a select group of friends and acquaintances who tell me "You ought to blog about that!". Thanks to all of you for your suggestions.

For those of you who have offered criticisms, don't worry, I have stopped using some of those words on the blog.

Thanks to my employees and customers for furnishing blog material on slow days.

Enough of the touchy-feely stuff, there's fresh stuff to blog about. Last night at the restaurant, a customer asked for an assortment of crackers with her salad. Unfortunately, we have only saltines. Apparently, the waiter confused the word "assortment" with the word "abundance". She got a plate with SIX packs of saltines on it. Only a coyote could have choked down six packs of crackers. She ate one pack and told me that she hoped that we could use the rest of them.

My favorite customer was talking to one of our new employees about her family in an attempt to determine if they might be related. She asked the young lady, "What's your father's name?" "Bobby" "What's your grandfather's name?" "I don't know." The customer walked away to tell me. At least the young lady didn't answer "Grandpa"!!

Sunday was National Pigs in a Blanket Day. We had a special on our Three Pigs, $2.99 instead of the usual $4.95. Was it a success? It must have been, my son Walter cooked yesterday and told me that he wants the next National Pigs in a Blanket Day off. If you can't get your own kid to work.........

Last week, my Scoutmaster gave me a little grief about my wife's reaction to my pink shirt. Unfortunately, the next day his wife, the Fetching Mrs. Loman, questioned his judgment in his attire. I believe that she compared his appearance to that of Boss Hogg. Judging by his description, she may be right. He believes that women are all watching "What Not to Wear", I've chosen to avoid comment.

In the last couple of days, I have had a couple of conversations with an employee about whether or not she is wearing a bra. I am so embarrassed by having to discuss this that I am considering an Obama solution. I am going to name a female employee as the Bra Czar and put her in charge of employee compliance with dress codes.

Let's revisit my pink shirt. Sunday was Easter, a perfect day to wear my pink shirt and tie. I thought that it looked great, but my wife's reaction was one of disgust. Sunday afternoon, I helped my son move a china cabinet. They always save the heavy stuff for the fat guy to move. A good friend told me that I need to stop using the "fat guy" term. Thanks, but I'll wait for about another fifteen pounds to drop. Anyway, after the moving was over, I called Susan to see if she wanted to meet me for dinner. I was told that I would need to change shirts before that would happen. Am I on some sitcom? No problem, I had my Allstate Restaurant Equipment shirt (Thanks Jerry!) with me. This is a lot of trouble over a pink shirt. Maybe, I'll go buy the lavender shirt!!

While I am writing this, my wife's puppy is in the living room barking at her own reflection in the fireplace doors. I told you that she was stupid.

Finally, Sunday, May 1 is the day to receive new members at Buffalo Church. I am slated to join, but my wife fears that like Barney Fife trying to join the lodge, I might be "blackballed". Darling, step away from the TV!! Hey!! I can wear my pink shirt to church that day.

Thanks for reading!!