Saturday, April 09, 2011

Car Show Part 2

I spent three days at the Food Lion Auto Fair or as most of us call it, the Charlotte Car Show. The spring show is larger and more enjoyable than the show later in the year. The later show used to be the fall show, but after three changes in the date, it is now a dog days of August show.

Today I pulled off a double play. In separate accidents, I was able to cut both my hand and my head. If you are the person who tells me that I need a toupee to help prevent head wounds, the answer is still no.

If you read my previous post, you are probably wondering if I made it back to Denny's for the Maple Bacon Sundae. The answer is no. I have been struggling with my blood sugar for a couple of weeks and I decided I wasn't ready for insulin. Maybe next time!

Chivalry is dead, at least at the car show. As a young man growing up, my mother taught my brother and I all those little things that men are (were?) supposed to do for women. Things like opening doors, holding doors, carrying things, paying checks at meals. All those things that make feminists refer to me as a chauvinist. Thanks girls, I can live with it. At the car show, a lot of people have a wagon or cart to carry their purchases, children, and beer. Today I saw a lot of women pulling loaded wagons while their husbands walked on ahead of them, usually carrying a beer. Are you kidding me, guys?? Did you marry a pack mule?? If my mother ever found out that I had done something like that, she would kick my butt. Let's work on our manners, guys.

Around noon today, I was standing in a vendor's tent swapping stories with some other artists when one asked "What's that noise?" I responded, "There's an airplane pulling a sign in the air over the speedway." He asked, "What does it say?" I stepped out of the tent, looked up and said, "Surrender Dorothy!" They all broke up laughing. Who says that I don't do movie references??

The Idiot of the Weekend came to my spaces on Friday. I watched him try to open an ammo can without any success. I tried to help by saying, "Those lids aren't hinged. They unhook on both ends." He snapped at me, "I was in the Army for twenty years. I know how to open this." I watched him for another couple of more minutes jerking on the handle like he was trying to start a lawn mower. Finally I told him,"Hey partner, I understand that you were in the Army twenty years, BUT that is the carrying handle that you are trying to tear off. The grip to open the can is about two inches above that. You won't need to pull that one as hard." He answered with a simple "@### You!", threw the can down, and stormed away. I picked up the can and yelled "Hey Army man!! Come back, I opened it for you!" He didn't come back. Win some, lose some.

When I arrived Thursday morning, my neighbor Glen was sitting in his chair wearing a tee shirt, shorts, and a pair of orange crocs. When I got out of the van, I looked in his direction. He said,"I know you are going to give me some @@## (crap) about my shoes." You know that he was right.

I put all of my carbs into one basket for lunch today. I had a Bruster's butter pecan ice cream cone with a waffle gone. It was really good!

More tomorrow on some of the special people I met at the car show.


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