Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Tuesday Tidbits

The "Jelly Belly" jelly bean show was at the Harris Teeter on Sunday. I considered offering to guess how many jelly beans they had in the RV, but one mistake a week is plenty. Thank You.

Car Show Porta Johns- They aren't that disgusting to use on Wednesday morning, the day before the show starts, but by Thursday there's just no way that I'm going into one. I would rather use a catheter and a bag than go in there. I walk the quarter mile uphill to use a real restroom. Of course there is a good bit of humor written on and about the porta-johns. Witticisms like "Flush Hard, it's a long way to Mexico" and "Out of Order, Does Not Flush" abound at the porta-johns. Not to mention the usual crude remarks about your mother, sister, or that gay cousin. Save yourself, walk to a real restroom.

I love Saturdays at the car show. On Saturday, the tire kickers and appraisers come out. These are the guys and girls who want to tell you what your stuff is worth. They don't want to buy it, they just want to talk about it. This year was no different. A guy asked me if I had any old Mopar stuff. I pointed out some wheel covers from the 1950's and a set of hubcaps from the 1940's. He asked what model year the hub caps were. I told him 1941. He told me that I was wrong, they were from 1946-48. He asked where I had obtained them. I explained that I had taken them off a 1941 Plymouth in partial trade for a good set that I had. I then suggested that he take his fat posterior further down the road and appraise someone else's merchandise.

Missing from the Charlotte Car Show, but desperately needed is a vendor of bras for men. There's a bunch of fat guys walking around shirtless with breasts that make you want to run a chromosome test on them. Hey fellas!! If you're sporting double d's, please keep your shirt on, you're scaring the kids. Where's Rodney Carrington when you need him??

If you are Barbara from Buffalo Church, I'm still apologizing for not seeing you and your husband this morning at the restaurant. While I now realize that you both spoke to me and hit my arm, I was just too focused elsewhere to pay attention. The ADHD is never pretty. Actually, I thought that I had hit someone with my arm and I wasn't going back to find out. I'll do better on your next visit.

Warning!! This may stun many of you!!
I had a discussion this evening with a friend about Shakespeare, the writer, not the fishing rod. I mentioned that I had read "Alias Shakespeare" by Joseph Sobran. Sobran believes that Edward de Vere, the 17th Earl of Oxford was Shakespeare. My friend was telling me that there is a movie coming out about Shakespeare called "Anonymous". Good Grief!! I'm ahead of the curve on this one.


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