Saturday, September 15, 2007

Saturday stuff

Last night, my wife was watching "Are You smarter than a fifth grader?" and I mistakenly decided to watch. The first guy washed out on his first question, which was about a common noun. The second contestant was a woman and her first question was pretty simple, "Who was the president before Franklin Roosevelt?" Seemed easy enough. Three of the fifth graders had the right answer. The woman got to see their answers and then announced that she was going with an answer that none of the kids had. Her answer, James Madison. Yes, James Madison, Father of the Constitution, President during the War of 1812, husband of Dolly. Change the name of the show to "How stupid can one person be?" or "How little do Americans know about our own history?". She was only about 120 years off.

I'm sure that if you are on the Internet you have seen it, BUT if not Google "Miss Teen South Carolina" and watch the video. There's a chance the "James Madison" woman is a relative of hers.

Why do small churches have such long names? You go by a large church and the sign reads something like "First Baptist Church, Pastor Bill Smith". You go by some little storefront church and the sign reads something like "First Apostolic Church of Faith in the Lord as written in two of the four Gospels, Bishop Lawrence Roosevelt Hiram Jefferson, Founder". I guess they figure that you will have to stop to read the sign and then come in.

It finally rained in Piedmont North Carolina yesterday. I guess that we will all have to find something else to talk about now.

College football is on TV on Saturdays again. Thank God for PBS.

Sysco, our primary grocery supplier at work, held a golf outing on Tuesday at Grandover Resort in Greensboro. I was invited and since I rarely pass up free food and a chance to drive a golf cart around a great course, I attended. While eating lunch before we started, someone asked how well I played. I told him that I played as well as you would expect for a guy who had to move two bags of goat feed to find his clubs in a shed. It could be a new Foxworthy thing, "If you have to move the goat feed to get to your golf clubs, you might be a redneck."

I haven't heard from Jim Hickmon, the clown threatening to sue me for libel, this week. Maybe Walt Hilderman changed enough on his website to placate the bottom feeder.

Jim Hickmon's threats may be part of a vast conspiracy by the Sons of Confederate Veterans and other Southern "Heritage" groups to deny Hilderman and I our civil rights. I could probably find a lawyer who believes that but most of those guys are representing the other side. It was worth throwing the idea in anyway.

Larry Craig has filed a request to have his guilty plea thrown out. Doonesbury has been spoofing the whole episode this week. Hard to believe that Trudeau and I agree on anything, but his take is pretty funny. Apparently, not everyone believes that tapping your toes and waving your arms in a men's room is criminal behavior. Have the police surveyed airport restrooms to determine the magnitude of this criminal activity? There are probably thousands of people engaged in disorderly conduct of this kind as I write this swill. How many are bored or listening to music (even the background music) as opposed to looking for a homosexual encounter? While we are at it, what's going on over in the ladies room??

Newsweek's cover story is about Hillary Clinton and "what kind of decider would she be?" I guess that whole nomination and election process has already been decided.

Twenty years of Clinton or Bush is enough for ANY country. We would be best served by someone from outside our current ruling circles. At least, let's elect someone from outside those two families. What has happened in the last twenty years that we need another four or eight years of in this country?

There was another story in Newsweek about "Quirky Kids". What do we do with them?
I guess we let them manage restaurants and write weblogs.


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