Tuesday, August 14, 2007

I can't believe that!!!

From the Daily Press in Hampton, Virginia comes news that Michael Vick may plead guilty in a plea bargain agreement. It also appears that his co-defendants will be in court this week to change their pleas to guilty. Vick's attorneys are unwilling to comment, of course. Meanwhile, sales of Michael Vick chew toys are soaring.

A headline in the paper a couple weeks ago announced that disability claims for Social Security are at record high levels. Not mentioned, but painfully obvious is the fact that the number of lawyers is at a record high number. Could there be a connection? DUH!!! See cheeseburger story below.

Karl Rove is leaving the Bush White House at the end of the month. I had hoped to get the job but no one has called yet. Let's face it. If I get the job, they are just swapping one smart, sarcastic, fat, bald white guy for another. Who will notice??

Another pro wrestler died the other day. No need for Barry Bonds to worry, I am sure it's not steroid related. There has never been any evidence of wrestlers using steroids. If you believe the preceding sentence, call me immediately, I have a bridge waiting for your purchase.

The District of Columbia administrative law judge who sued a dry cleaner for $54 million for losing his pants has filed an appeal after losing his lawsuit. Must have been one hell of a pair of pants. Why is this idiot still on the public payroll??

This one is too bizarre to make up. An inmate in a federal prison in South Carolina has filed suit against Michael Vick for $63 BILLION. He claims that Vick stole two pit bulls from him and sold them on eBay and used the profits to buy missiles from Iran. He wants the $63 billion (backed by gold and silver) delivered to the prison. I am having Iran-Contra flashbacks!

A man in West Virginia is suing McDonalds for $10 million for serving him a Quarter Pounder with cheese after he told them about an allergy to cheese. He then went home and ate the sandwich in a darkened room while watching a movie. He must have had his eyes closed if he could not see that electric yellow color of Mickey D's cheese. He claims that his reaction was almost fatal. McDonalds offered to cover his $700 in medical bills, he declined. I hate to criticize anyone BUT, I cut my thumb a few years ago and the ER bill was more than $500. A $700 hospital bill is not reflective of a near death experience, even in West Virginia. Other than greedy lawyers, what is there in a $700 hospital experience and a $1 cheeseburger that is worth $10 million? America, the litigation nation.


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