I love stupid people- The restaurant version

Two weeks ago, a busboy called in sick for his 7:30 AM shift. That afternoon around 5:30, I looked out into the dining room and saw him in line at the cash register. I walked out and asked him, "Didn't you call in sick today?". "Yes, but I am here with my mother for dinner. I am feeling better." I guess nothing heals quicker than Mom offering to buy dinner! Note to idiots everywhere- Stay AWAY from your job after calling in sick for that day.

A group of nine people came in on Wednesday evening (our busiest night) and asked for a table. "We have some things to discuss and we would like to sit where no one can hear us." Looking for privacy, they came to a busy family restaurant. Here's your sign! I seated them after explaining the privacy they sought did not exist.

Sunday morning with thirty to forty people waiting in line to be seated, a couple walks in the door. The man comes up to me and asks, "Is there a wait?". In an incredible show of self restraint, I simply responded "Yes" and headed back to the kitchen to laugh.

I walked into the office and found a cook sitting in my chair talking on the telephone. I suggested that he get off the phone and out of my chair. After hanging up, he said "I was just calling to have them bring me some cigarettes." Stunned by his level of stupidity, I explained my anger to him. "Let's see, you are in my chair, on the phone and you think that telling me that all you were doing was calling for cigarettes will make it better. It's a non smoking restaurant, dumbass. You aren't supposed to smoke while at work!!"

We had a bunch of long distance calls on our phone bill. I tracked them down to one of our hostesses. When I confronted her about them, she responded "I didn't know that they were long distance." Let's see, it's 120 miles away, you have to dial 1 and the area code first, sounds like long distance to me. I had a few other employees that were making long distance calls and all responded with the same answer "I didn't know that it was long distance." Any idea that people just don't understand the long distance concept is negated by the fact that each of these employees carries a cell phone but made their calls from our phone. I'm guessing that they do understand long distance.