Sunday, December 10, 2006

I can't take anymore!

WARNING- The following essay is critical of pop singer and celebrity-slut Britney Spears. If your existence is based on the happenings in Ms. Spears life, do not go any further. Stop and go take your own life immediately.

For the past few weeks it has been impossible to turn on the television, read a magazine or newspaper, or go online without seeing something about Ms. Spears exposing herself again and again. Why does she keep doing this? A few possible explanations-
1. I think that she is from Louisiana. Maybe that's how women in Louisiana announce their availability after separating from their husbands. "Momma, can you watch the kids while I go down to the bar and expose myself? Go ahead and wash my one pair of underwear, I won't need them."
2. She's trying to get an underwear endorsement deal from Victoria's Secret. I can hear the advertising guys from Victoria's Secret talking now. "We have to get her to cover that thing. I can't keep my lunch down."
3. Like other singers, she slept through English or just cut class everyday. Britney, the word is PUBIC not PUBLIC!! It is your PUBIC area, not your public area.

Having seen the pictures of the now famous crotch of the celebrity slut Ms. Spears, a few thoughts of my own-
1. Like most other teenaged boys growing up in the '60's, I never thought that I would see an ugly one. Wrong again!
2. Ms. Spears, if your career path is based on exposing yourself and having people enjoy it, you need to see either a plastic surgeon (with a high tolerance for suffering) or a career counselor.
3. Britney, please don't expose yourself on a windy day, someone could get hurt with all the flapping.
4. Maybe these are "Before" photos for her upcoming Genitalia Jewelry collection to be sold on the Home Shopping Network.

Last, but certainly not least, every picture I see of that overexposed area reminds me of the old World War 2 poster, "Loose lips sink ships!"

Please keep that thing covered!!!


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