Yes, Commissioner?

 Last Saturday evening some deranged young man with an AR--15 and a bad case of body odor tried to kill Donald Trump in Butler, Pennsylvania, The Secret Service is refusing to release any information about the shooting other than to acknowledge that Trump did, in fact, actually get shot. Of course, the Joys (Reid and Behar) and Whoopi Goldberg don't even believe that.

I have had several email exchanges with people about the shooting. Theories are sprouting about the shooting like weeds in my yard during the recent drought. My personal belief is that conspiracy theories abound where the facts are few. By not putting out some serious data, the government encourages conspiracy theories. The refusal of the head bitch at the Secret Service to answer questions from United States Senators is not going to end well. It's an election year, Honey. You better start talking!!

I heard someone on the news the other day claim that the government needs to form a "commission" to investigate the shooting. Yeah, like that worked out so well with the Warren Commission and the Kennedy assassination. I haven't heard any questions about the Warren Commission report in almost 8 hours.

Assassination conspiracies are a cottage industry in the United States. How many books have been written about the Kennedy assassination? How many movies, magazine articles and television shows have resulted from the Kennedy assassination? 

If you know someone who actually believes that Oswald killed Kennedy without involvement from any other person or group, call me immediately with their name. I have some great investment opportunities for them.

Will a commission end the conspiracy theories? Do you believe that Sirhan Sirhan killed Robert Kennedy with three shots from a nine shot Iver Johnson .22 caliber pistol? Oh yeah, he also wounded five other people with that same gun. Sirhan may have been the best shot in the history of .22 caliber handguns. Just to finish off the conspiracy, Sirhan is a Palestinian. Who could have guessed?

Did James Earl Ray kill Martin Luther King? King's son Dexter met with Ray before Ray died and Dexter is not a believer. James Earl Ray who had worked all kind of menial jobs, fled to Canada and then to London. He flew to London on a bus boy's paycheck. Really? Most of the bus boys that I have known would have had to borrow money to take the city bus home. He was arrested at Heathrow Airport as he waited to board a plane for Rhodesia. I guess Rhodesia is some kind of bus boy retreat.

The government has waited a week and is still not releasing any facts. Memo to government morons: Millions of people watched this happen live on television. If may be time to just release the facts and tell the truth. The government is hampered by the axiom, "The truth will set you free!" It's just too easy.

Life is cruel. Commissions won't work because this is real life and there's no Caped Crusader waiting by the Bat phone to answer a call with those famous words, "Yes, Commissioner!"