Monday, December 25, 2006

This just in!!

Famed wife beater and drug abuser James Brown assumed room temperature early this morning. The news report on television claims that Brown was an influence on many singers such as Prince and Michael Jackson. Now we know who is to blame.

Liar Mike Nifong, Durham County DA, has dropped the rape charges against three lacrosse players from Duke University. Last week's news that Mr. Nifong had withheld information from DNA tests for the past seven months is said to be the cause for dropping the charges. Apparently Mr. Nifong has lied repeatedly to the judge in the case, as well as anyone else who has asked him a question. Mr. Nifong thought that DNA tests that found the DNA of the accuser's boyfriend, as well as several other men (none of whom were Duke lacrosse players) on her body or in her underwear not to be worthy of mention. More on Liar Mike on another day!

Two people were shot at Four Seasons Mall in Greensboro Saturday evening. Police were able to easily catch the shooter. After shooting a man, the shooter shot himself in the leg putting his gun away. The shooter is now out of the hospital and in jail unable to post the one million dollar bond.

On the way to work on Saturday, I stopped at a local store where the weather had driven the BS group inside. They were discussing capital punishment when one old guy broke it down for everyone to grasp. "Why screw with lethal injections? Who cares if killers suffer? Hell, all we need is an oak tree and a piece of rope."

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