Monday, October 31, 2005

Book him, Danno!!

The news the other day about Lewis "Scooter" Libby being indicted hardly comes as a surprise. I am fascinated by the way that justice is administered our legal system. If Libby identified Plame as a covert agent why wasn't he charged with that? Instead Libby is charged with lying to the grand jury. Clinton lied to a grand jury, all he got was a pension, a library, and lifetime Secret Service protection. Hopefully, the taxpayers will get off cheaper in the Libby case. Of course, Bill has to sleep with Hillary, so the argument can be made that he has been punished enough.

This brings to mind the Martha Stewart case. Why didn't they charge Martha with insider trading? Simple, it's too hard to prove. This is a favorite tactic of inept, cowardly prosecutors. Charge someone with the easiest crime with which to secure a conviction. Wouldn't life have been different if prosecutors had charged OJ Simpson with impeding traffic during his now famous chase on the Interstate? They could have charged him with littering for dropping a glove at the scene, maybe the jury would have supported that. Had they tried Charles Manson with this practice, they would have charged him with speeding as he left the scene. Hopefully by now, even the slowest among you is getting the idea.

What's the big deal about lying to the government anyway? Before any of you self righteous types get your panties in a wad, two words, FORM 1040. Actually that is one word and four numbers, but you get the idea. The government lies to us constantly, has anybody indicted Congress lately? Gilbert, what do you mean "The government lies to us constantly"? How do I count the ways? Let's start with the grand daddy of all lies, The Social Security Trust Fund. From there let's consider, in no particular order, weapons of mass destruction, the Warren Report (that's for all you conspiracy theorists), the Gulf of Tonkin resolution, the Pueblo, the Shah, free trade, the Turner Joy, the USS Liberty, Oklahoma City, the term "balanced budget", "I did not have sex with that woman", Mary Jo Kopechne, and global warming(take either side on that one).

What is Libby guilty of doing?? Simple, going by "Scooter" should be a felony for any real man and any male over the age of fifteen. "Scooter" may be cute at age five, but by high school it's time to use a real name. At age 23, I encountered a guy named "Killer". I probably offended him by suggesting that I wasn't Beetle Bailey or Sergeant Snorkel and life wasn't a cartoon strip. I told him that I wanted to know his real name. He wouldn't tell me, I figured it was Rheinold or worse. For someone Libby's age to go by "Scooter" is a travesty. It may not be as stupid as "Danno" in "Book him, Danno", but's it's real close.


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