Sunday, October 02, 2005

Flea Market Musings

Saturday morning I took a van load of my finest military surplus clothing to the Starlite Drive-In Theater Flea Market in Durham. It was a little slow early, so I had time to scrawl out a few thoughts on a piece of a cardboard box. I had left the house without a notepad, but cardboard works well for this crap. There is no coherency to this string of thoughts, so don't look for one.

1. Forget AIDS and cancer, obesity is the epidemic in this country. When I was a kid, we made fun of the fat kid. Today they are making fun of the skinny kid.
2. Why do fat, lower class, white women wear stretch clothing? I have nightmares about being killed in a spandex explosion at the flea market.
3. Among Hispanic and black women, obesity is rampant. I think that the burden of birthing multiple, illegitimate children must be what turns skinny teen-aged girls into obese women.
4. Stupid questions abound at the flea market, not unlike at a press conference. A young girl pointed to a pair of camo pants and asked "Are these pants that I can wear to school?". I told her that it was OK with me but she might want another opinion from her parent(s) or school. Her response was "What do you mean?". I sold her the pants.
A young man stood in front of four tables of camo clothing with his mother and asked "Do you have any Army coats?" My defense is that it was early and my medication obviously hadn't kicked in yet. My response was "OPEN your Damn eyes!". I guess I could have been a little more polite but he was standing there with his hand on a stack of Gortex field jackets. He walked away with his mother still laughing at him.
5. Was Tom Thumb Mexican? I had watched "Barnum" the night before and at 5'8", I towered over the crowd. If you are still confused, check the name of this blog.
6. A few hours at the flea market and your only thought can be that the national average IQ is dropping faster than Clinton's pants at the sight of a big breasted intern. But this is only a small sampling of the National Intellect, we still have a chance. Go to the living room and shoot your TV.


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