Motorcycles, Mopeds and Morons

 Before starting this rant, I will make my full disclosure statement. In 1975, I owned a Yamaha motorcycle. It was one with a smaller engine. It might have been a 150, maybe a 175. I just don't remember. I bought it used from the guy who sold eggs to us at the Waffle House. I rode it twice for a toral of about five minutes and sold it. Sometimes you just know that something is not right for you. I didn't need to die to reach that conclusion.

In North Carolina, as in most states, we have those digital information signs out on the interstates and other major highways. Thye all have the same message, so on an extended trip you will see the same stupid thing several times as you travel. As I was traveling home from the Endless 301 Yard Sale recently, the message was about watching out for motorcycles. 

One of the tips was "check your blind spots". I hate to point out the obvious to those writing these messages, but if I could "check my blind spots", they would not be "blind spots". 

The real problem with these warning signs is that they were aimed at automobile drivers and not motorcyclists. While I realize that automobile and truck drivers are frequently faulted for motorcycle accidents, the reality is that lots of accidents are the results of the way that cyclists operate their motorcycles. Here's a few of my complaints. 

While the size and power of motorcycles enable riders to weave in and out of traffic, it doesn't mean that it is safe to do that. There's nothing more irritating than to sit in a traffic backup while some asshole on a motorcycle weaves in and out of the stopped vehicles. Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should. Motorcyclists should remain in the line of traffic as if they were in a car. They cause accidents by being in places where they should not be. 

It's the same thing with obeying the speed limit. Just because you can accelerate to a high speed and evade the police does not mean that you should. Evading a ticket is not a good public relations move for bikers. Write that one down!!

Coming home from Selma after the 301 Yard Sale, a guy on a motorcycle cut in front of me from somewhere on my left in Raleigh. Despite the digital signs imploring me to check my blind spots, the biker chose to ride in my blind spots. Either that or he just cut around someone in one of the two left lanes and pulled in front of me. Then he decided to stop quickly. I was able to shift to the left lane and avoid destroying the motorcycle. Motorcyclists all need to take a physics class. Your motorcycle can stop quicker that my truck and trailer, which have a combined weight of more than four tons. Do the math, schmuck. Stopping suddenly in front of much larger vehicles is a suicide attempt.

Mopeds are an even bigger problem. A few years ago, I was coming home from Hillsville on a Labor Day afternoon with my truck and cargo trailer. On I-40 in Greensboro, there was a backup in the right lane where I was driving. Traffic was so heavy that it was difficult to change lanes, so I just slowed down to 35 MPH, which was the speed of the tractor-trailer in front of me. After a couple of miles, the tractor-trailer suddenly shifted to the left lane when an opening appeared. When what to my wondering eyes should appear? A moron doing 35 miles per hour on a moped on I-40.

This was in the Top Ten list of stupid things that I have seen in my life. I picked up my phone and called 911. I explained the situation to the operator, and she just asked, "So, what is wrong?" Stunned that this woman was even able to answer the phone, I told her, "You may as well get an ambulance headed this way because the idiot on the moped is about to die in this traffic." She mumbled something about notifying the Highway Patrol and hung up. Mercifully, he exited at the next ramp.

Mopeds are prohibited on most, if not all limited access highways. But morons on mopeds remain a problem for drivers. They obey fewer traffic laws than the motorcyclists that I was complaining about earlier.

I see no useful reasons for mopeds in this country. They are the vehicle of choice for those who have lost their driver's license for things like DUI. Years ago, a Guilford County judge was listening to me complain about mopeds on major highways. She told me that as far as she was concerned, riding a moped after dark, was prima facie evidence of drunk driving. She encouraged the police to stop them. There's a judge with an attitude that I can understand!

In large cities like New York, electric scooters are now just a tool to use in committing crimes. Let's make America Safe Again, ban mopeds. We can deal with the morons later.