Greedy Stupid Lawyer

This just in !!!!

When you thought that it just couldn't get any worse, you find out that you are wrong.

In Gulfport, Mississippi, attorney Paul Newton Jr. is suing Popeye's because they did not include a plastic knife in his dinner box. According to his lawsuit, Mr. Newton was then forced to eat the chicken by picking it up and biting into it. He choked on the chicken and needed emergency surgery. Does he not know that you are supposed to chew your food? Can you trust a guy this stupid with a plastic knife? What if he slashes his wrists? 

First, this guy takes any idea that lawyers are greedy and stupid to heights never seen before. Billions of times a year, people pick up a piece of fried chicken and eat it. A small child can do this and millions do everyday. Ever seen a kid with a chicken leg??  Apparently, Mr. Newton lacks the physical skills to pull this off. Where did this guy learn to eat? Does he bite a banana or just shove it down his throat? Watching him wrestle corn on the cob must be some kind of family fun fest.

Second, this guy has no pride, no ethics, no brains. Who will be his next target? Will Krispy Kreme have to include knives and forks with donuts?? Will Baskin-Robbins have to give you a spoon with your cone?? Will pizzas come with steak knives and forks?

This guy should be barred from any event where "finger food" is being served. He should not be allowed to buy potato chips or Fritos. I would suggest that he become a vegetarian, but he would probably sue me when he chokes on a corn cob. How does this moron eat a sandwich?

The court should dismiss this suit based on the fact that Mr. Newton is obviously mentally incompetent and move to have him disbarred.

Who wants this guy as their lawyer??