Saturday, September 10, 2011

Saturday, the day after Friday

Having spent all of my adult life and most of my formative years in the food service business, I have never quite understood the term T.G.I.F. In the restaurant business, Friday just means that you will be working harder the next two days as you struggle through the weekend.

The best thing about today is that it has been two days since Obama unveiled his latest brainstorm and boondoggle. He wants to cut payroll taxes by 50%. For those who didn't follow that, he wants to cut Social Security taxes by 50%. Let's see, they keep telling us that Social Security is almost bankrupt and now they want to cut the flow of funds to Social Security by 50%. Is it making sense yet?? Raise your right hand if you understand this.

I do like his idea about a $4000 tax credit for small businesses that hire individuals who have been unemployed for more than six months. When an employee asks, "Why are you firing me?", the answer is easy. "The government is giving me a $4000 tax credit to replace you." Will that make them eligible for unemployment? Probably. I knew that there was a catch.

I told my favorite customer that if the tax credit program passes, she should look for lots of new faces at the restaurant. If you work for me and irritate me, the government wants to give me $4000 to fire you and replace you. What a deal!!

The good news is that this program will give me a raise. Let's see, I am waiting for Obama and Congress to pass a law allowing me to keep more of what I earn. I have to call the doctor!!  Time to cut the dosage.

In short the Obama program may not reduce unemployment, it will just change the faces of the unemployed. It's kind of like government funded musical chairs.

The big question is whether Congress will have time to address the issue between the Labor Day recess and the Thanksgiving holiday. I think that there are a couple of work days in that period!

I got word from the doctor yesterday that the growth on my arm was not melanoma. I wasn't expecting it to be melanoma, but it was growing fast enough to worry me. If you are one of those folks who have asked me about it, thanks for your concern. I'm calmer now.

If you are a regular reader of this swill and are wondering about how my wife's dog is doing, wonder no more. Dolly is alive and well. She appears to be a little retarded, but who's perfect? Here's a link to a dog even dumber than Dolly. See for yourself.

Traumatic experience!! I am writing this while I am at the surplus store "working". I had to stop when a couple came in a few minutes ago. As I was talking to them, it took about two seconds to realize that this woman had the worst case of body odor that I have been near in years. I'm telling you that Mr. Clean couldn't kill this stench. It was tough talking while I was fighting the gag reflex thing. I should have brought some of the "dumpster deodorant" that we use at the restaurant and turned the hose on her.

Actually "working" is a little misleading. I actually do work on some days. Saturday is my day to clean the store. This morning I got the brush and squeegee and washed the windows. Before leaving this afternoon, I will sweep and mop the floor. Yes, it's a lot like being at home. Most people won't believe this, but I have great domestic skills. It comes from a lifetime of cleaning up after people at the restaurant. I once told my wife that if anything happens to her, I am auctioning myself off to the highest bidder in a group of women looking for a house husband. Yeah, she didn't laugh either.

Ending on a sports note, both college and pro football have started. There is a rumor that they have an NFL team in Charlotte. We will have to wait and see.


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