What I learned on the way....

Last week one of my employees was sitting on the bench outside the restaurant listening to his CD player. I went out and asked  "What are you listening to?" He said "Gospel." So I asked him who it was. He wouldn't tell me and after I asked repeatedly about it, he finally told me that it was a bootleg CD. "You're listening to stolen gospel music? Are you serious? What's the hypocrisy level in this?"

The GOP Presidential hopefuls appeared in a "debate" last night. I had to settle for watching the highlights this morning. I once had high hopes for Newt Gingrich. Here's a guy with great ideas and plans, but he's never going to be President. He's also a great writer. Unfortunately, I don't think that he can bridge the gap between ideas and action. I'm not sure of his leadership skills. Combine that with the fact that he has enough personal baggage to fill a circus train and you have an unelectable candidate. As long as I am taking a shot at Newt, here's another. Hey Callista!! Either get Newt to drop 75 pounds or get a tailor who can fit a suit on a fat man.

My Scoutmaster, Rick, recently brought me an article out of Backpacker magazine. He claims that the subject of the article reminds him of me in hiking shorts. The article was titled "Madman walking". Go figure!

I received an e-mail from someone last week who described me as a "sweet guy". I responded with a plea not to use the "S" word again. I'm now a "good and decent man". I may be able to live with that.

An employee called in on Sunday, claimed to have a headache. She told me that she didn't know how to get rid of a headache. I suggested that the first step would be to stop sleeping with him.

For those wondering about my arm, I had a squamous cell carcinoma removed last week. "Squamous" is obviously derived from the word squeamish, which is how you feel after watching them scoop a large piece of your arm out. They also froze about seven spots on my head. As a friend said, "Talk about a brain freeze." Yes, I had a headache for several hours after that.

My doctor, actually a nurse, Ann, who comes into the restaurant on Sunday examined my arm and approved. I'm going to wait for the test results anyway.

Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod. "I'm going to do that when I win the lottery," announced Blonde #1. "Do what?" asked Blonde #2. "Send my lawn out to be mowed."

I attended a family gathering last weekend in Charlotte. While I enjoyed myself, it was a reminder that you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family.

I spent a considerable amount of time trying to get a speaker for the church men's group meeting in September. I finally got Danny Harnden from Fox 8. Thank you, Fox 8. Channel 2 failed to respond to e-mails or phone calls. I told someone that if it had not been an event for the church, someone at News 2 would have already received a sampling of my finest vocabulary!

I am constantly reminded that it is better to have one good friend than a dozen so-so friends. There are times when you have to have someone to vent your issues to. Being my friend requires good listening skills. I would write a rant here, but I'm not sure if any friend is going to read this. Thanks!!

We are trying to have a pancake eating contest at the restaurant later this month between representatives of two high schools. Grimsley is on board, apparently it takes more discussion at Page. I'll keep you posted.