Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Weird Wednesday

The headline in today's Greensboro News & Record was "Surprise Earthquake." Really? When was an earthquake last accurately predicted?

Pat Summitt, the University of Tennessee women's basketball coach, has announced that she will continue to coach despite the onset of dementia. In similar news, Joe Biden will be the Democrat's Vice Presidential candidate in 2012.

In personal news, I have some kind of growth on my left arm that's bothering me. I am going to the dermatologist next Thursday about it. I know what you are thinking, will this impact his blog? Not a chance, my typing finger is on my right hand.

Tiny Tim, my dishwasher, has added another child support withholding order to his resume. This means that seven children and "Baby Mamas" are depending on him for support. Let's start mandatory vasectomies!

My wife is in Louisiana this week with her mother. I have full custody of Dolly, our somewhat retarded dog. I tried to use a rolled up newspaper to discipline her last night. I think that I will need to roll a gun up in the newspaper for it to be effective. Thanks anyway for the tip, LoCal.

There's a story in the news today about Old Navy producing thousands of T-shirts with a typographical error. Lets, let's (pick one) face it, what are the odds that any of there, their, they're (pick one)customers will even notice?

Congress is in the middle of a six week summer recess. Raise your hand if your job gives you a six week paid summer vacation.

Two girls with green hair were in this afternoon. That's a sure sign that school starts tomorrow. The home burglary rate will plummet as the little  ##@@** return to vandalizing school buildings and assaulting teachers.

I had a couple of wait staff meetings this week. In a dress code discussion today, I pointed out that they were not to wear black or dark colored bras under white shirts. After the meeting, one waitress told me that I should be checking to make sure that they were all wearing bras. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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