Thursday, February 03, 2011

We have a new record!!

You know that it's going to be a tough day when the first thing that you have to do in the morning is move a dead animal. Yeah, dead animal. This morning, when I headed down the road for my morning run, jog, walk, crawl, I saw something on my side of the road. As I got closer, I realized that it was a dead doe. Apparently, it had been dead for a couple of hours. It was cold to the touch. (Those with queasy stomachs should have just vomited.) To prevent more cars from hitting it, I pulled it over to the ditch beside the road. Then I headed down the road to finish exercising. I know that this wasn't quite the story of the Good Samaritan, but I didn't have a lot to work with in this case.

I have been working on a post about an issue that irritates me on a regular basis, but I tossed it aside for a day when the mail came in this afternoon. The mailman, postal carrier, mail person, whatever term you want to use, delivered a stack of mail today at the restaurant. As I looked through it, I realized that the bulk of it was from the Guilford County Child Support Enforcement Department. That's always good reading!! In addition, it creates more work for me. What's the big deal?? I had fifteen minutes I wasn't using.

There were seven letters from Child Support. ALL were in regards to the same employee. One was a request for earnings information and SIX were child support withholding orders. SIX withholding orders for one employee in one day is a new record. The old record for a single day was four.

The all time record for withholding orders for a single employee is seven, but they were received over a month's time. That guy had eight children by five different women, none of whom shared his last name. I always like to look at the birth dates of the children when I read the withholding orders. That particular man had two children born a day apart, obviously from two different women. There must have been some real tension in that hospital nursery!!

Let's get back to my current employee. He has five children by four different women in about a twelve year period. Here's a few thoughts, Pal. Those things that they are giving away at the Health Department are called condoms. If shyness prevents you from going to the Health Department, they are also sold at convenience stores, drugstores, and finer truck stop restrooms. They are probably available at other places, but I haven't been in the market for any in a long time. You probably want to check out the free ones because your potential usage sounds pretty high.

What else can you do? Go to a computer, Google "vasectomy". It will only hurt for a little while. I would suggest that you Google "abstinence", but I'm guessing that's not even a possibility.

Why did this bother me today?? I was working on my income tax return. First, this guy's hobby is costing me money, lots of money. It's costing all taxpayers a lot of money. You want to have a baby? No problem. You want me to pay for it?? Wait! We need to talk first. Second, as a man, I am offended by the image people like this create. Men are going from being fathers and husbands to being sperm donors and "baby's Daddy".

So what's the bottom line? If you are a man and don't want to raise children while supporting them financially, here's a few pointers. First, keep it holstered or covered. Second, one word, vasectomy. Third, if all else fails, play Solitaire. Anything would be better than the mess that we have now.


Post a Comment

<< Home