Sunday, January 30, 2011

Go Figure!!

This week the U.S. National Figure Skating Championship was in Greensboro. Did I attend? If you answered "yes", go on to another site until you sober up.

I thought that the Figure Skating Championship would make an excellent blog topic. While I was gasping for air yesterday during my morning exercise, I ran through many thoughts about this post. In retrospect, my time would have been better spent reviewing the thermodynamic properties of paradichlorobenzene.

I hate the idea of watching figure skating. In 1974, the young lady whom I was dating wanted to see "Holiday on Ice". It was the longest two hours of my life. It would have been less painful to break up with her than to watch that show. Looking back, I would have rather been "waterboarded" by the CIA than to watch two hours of figure skating.

This will stun most people but I do try to be fair. So this morning at work, I spoke to the Queen about the Figure Skating Championship. I knew that she had bought tickets for the event. It turned out that her tickets were for today's finals. I told her my "Holiday on Ice" story. She suggested that hating figure skating was "a guy thing". I offered my opinion that men who watch figure skating wear clogs and vote straight Democratic tickets. She told me that she was attending with three other ladies. Mercifully, I had to get busy and our brief conversation ended before I had a chance to bury my foot in my mouth.

A few minutes later, a waitress told me that one of our other customers, a funeral director, told her that he had attended the skating event on Saturday. That was hard enough for me accept, but it was soon to get worse.

This was my Sunday to attend church. As I sat in Buffalo Church listening to the sermon, the Reverend Bledsoe somehow made a transition from the Beatitudes to who won on Saturday in the Figure Skating Championships. I wish that I could see a video of the sermon so that I could track the path from "Blessed are the meek" to which skater won. I was stunned. Could I be that wrong?? Could I be the only guy who ranks figure skating with synchronized swimming or American Idol? Could I be the last dinosaur?? If you are waiting for me to own up to being that wrong, click ahead to some other site.

I guess that there exists a possibility that my opinion is in the minority. Maybe...Maybe not. I should have gone with the post about paradichlorobenzene.


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