Thursday, January 08, 2009

Road trip rant!!

In the 1960's I bought a book at the Salvation Army in Tampa that was a humorous history of Russia. I can't remember the title, don't bother asking. My favorite part of the book was about the death of Rasputin. After Rasputin was shot and killed, his body was thrown into the River Neva. An angry mob pulled his body out of the river and set it on fire. This is believed to be the origin of the phrase, "Better lit then Neva." I wrote the following post before Christmas and thought that I had posted it, I had not. But as they say in Russia, better lit than Neva.

My mother had partial hip replacement surgery last week and was not doing well, so I drove to Florida on Thursday to see her for a couple of days. The thrill of the 682 mile, 13 hour drive (each way) is more than words can describe, but I will give it a shot.

Two words that apparently no driver understands, "SPEED LIMIT". There's nothing to compare with driving in the right lane with some moron behind me flashing his lights. Where the hell am I supposed to drive when doing the speed limit? There's a way for states to generate revenue, cut fuel consumption, and cut highway traffic deaths. How about enforcing the speed limit laws? Instead of staging roadblocks to find out what desperado doesn't have his seatbelt buckled, how about stopping the bastard who is riding my bumper at 70 MPH. BONUS!! This could also reduce some of those road rage incidents. I was reluctant to shoot at those morons riding my bumper and then flipping me as they went by due to the fact that I only had about 100 rounds in the van with me. Memo to self: Need to plan on carrying about 50 rounds per 100 miles on road trips.

Clean restrooms. It's easier to find hairs on my head than clean restrooms in Georgia. Apparently the state has passed some sort of law discouraging businesses from cleaning restrooms. At least, it appears to be the case. I stopped at a Chick-Fil-A in Commerce, Georgia. At 10:30 A.M., the stale urine stench in the restroom was overwhelming, the floor and the fixtures were dirty. On the plus side there were plenty of paper towels and soap, as these items are apparently rarely used in the Peach State.

Alabama, what can I say? Alabama is a lot like television, a vast wasteland. I am sure that there are nice parts of Alabama, but I haven't been there yet. I don't have the time or patience to search for such small areas. I traveled US 331 from Montgomery to Florida. If you are ever wondering where they filmed "Green Acres", take that drive. That area of Alabama makes Caswell County look like Beverly Hills.

Florida. I hate the traffic in Charlotte, but the traffic in the Fort Walton Beach area is almost as bad. Where the hell did all of these people come from and where are they going in such a hurry?? See SPEED LIMITS above for more details.

Driving back on Saturday, I encountered the great mass of "recession traffic". As I traveled from Montgomery to Greensboro on I-85, I could see that there were mobs of shoppers at the malls and shopping centers that line I-85. Parking spaces appeared scarce and traffic near shopping areas was heavy. Apparently word of the recession has not reached this area.


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