Happy New Year!! Bah! Humbug!

2009 has finally arrived! Big deal! What's all the fuss about? Do we celebrate the start of a new month? The start of a new day or new week? Why celebrate the start of a new year?

I love the people who rave about all the great things that the new year will bring and then proceed to get drunk to celebrate the start of the new year. That's a great strategy. The new year is going to be so wonderful that these people waste the first day of it partying until they are shit-faced and then spend the rest of the day nursing a hangover. These people don't need a new year, they need a course in planning. Remember your 6 P's, proper planning prevents piss poor performance.

I actually had high hopes for the beginning of the new year. I had hoped that I would wake on the morning of January 1, and like Bobby in "Dallas", would find that 2008 was all just a bad dream. I had hoped that I would wake and it would be January 1, 2008 not 2009. There would have been no President Obama, no talk of Senator Caroline Kennedy, no Hillary Clinton campaign, and no Senator Kay Hagan (AKA Goober spoofs Bette Midler). It was not to be, I woke up and realized that it had all happened. At least, the Sarah Palin part was worthwhile.

You don't need to wait for a new year to resolve to change your life. You can raise your standard of living, you can help your children, you can change the world, you can be more productive. You can get up tomorrow morning and resolve to never vote Democratic again.