Fat Carving for Dummies

There's a large billboard on Wendover Avenue in Greensboro hawking "Lipo Sculpture". For the slower among you, this is a marketing term for a process where plastic surgeons slice you open and vacuum the fat out for a more shapely YOU.

While there are some cases that may warrant plastic surgery, the whole thing has gone way too far. If guys were getting their penises enlarged at the rate that women are getting breast implants, Oprah would be too busy talking about it to campaign for Obama. I realize that some people want to maintain their youthful appearance with a little face lift, but look at the risks. Wayne Newton looks like he is Chinese, now that he's had his face done. God only knows what happened to Kenny Rogers! He looks like he had his face done by students at the Acme School of Plastic Surgery. Kenny, that wasn't the time to save a few bucks.

In this country, we wouldn't let someone cut open a hog and suck the fat out, but we pay to have it done to ourselves. Go figure!

It's the same old story in hospital nurseries across the land. A husband gets his chin fixed and his ears tucked back. His wife gets her nose done, her breast implants, and gets her butt done. They have a baby and look at it with the same reaction, "It doesn't look like us!" No kidding! Sorry, but the DNA doesn't pick up on the surgical changes. Read the disclaimers.

Got to go! I am getting out the Shop Vac and a utility knife to help the dog lose some weight.