Friday, February 15, 2008

Jane Fonda, my new hero

Sometime this morning, I went online to read the news and found an incredible headline, "Jane Fonda drops the C-bomb on the Today show". Sorry folks, but my profane vocabulary is extensive enough that I wasn't sure what the "C-bomb" was. I had to watch the video to find out.

I was worried that she might have said "Clinton" on live television. Wait!! She's a liberal, maybe she said "Cheney". Or she could have insulted us all and said "Carter". Alas, it was much simpler.

WARNING!!!!! Strong Adult Content!!
Before reading any further, be advised that what follows is a profanity-laced, irreverent, sarcastic, insulting look at this incident and the "C-bomb". There is something here to offend EVERYONE, don't feel special. If you read past here and are offended, don't waste your time and mine telling me. Loretta, you have been warned!

This morning on the Today show, Meredith Viera was discussing the play "The Vagina Monologues" with Jane Fonda and what might have been another woman. I am not sure, the third person showed no signs of life. Jane said that she had been asked to do a monologue called "Cunt". Hence the "C-bomb".

Let's face it. If you are going to discuss a play called "The Vagina Monologues" on live television, there's a chance that something is going to slip. I'm just glad to know that "The vagina monologues" is a play. I should have known. I have seen a few vaginas, but I have never heard one talk. I know that they all have lips, but I always figured they were mutes. I will hazard a guess that if they ever do find a talking one, the first words will be "Not tonight".

Jane should be intimately acquainted with the word. For years people have used that term to describe her. In her defense, it is usually preceeded by "pinko, Commie". I guess she was using it out of the context she normally hears it in.

How offensive can the word be? I mean she's discussing "The Vagina Monologues." What did you think that title represented? Some kind of travelogue to a foreign land? I guess that for some it would be.

I checked my English-Pervert Dictionary and it describes "cunt" as "a small fur-bearing creature that consumes great quantities of meat without choking." I just threw that one in for the animal lovers among you.

George Carlin once listed "cunt" as being one of the seven words that you can't say on television. Another myth bites the dust!

Since it seems that women are all excited about "The Vagina Monologues", men should have their own production. How about some "Penis Poetry" or "Prostate Prose" or "The Talking Testicles"? Actually I was hoping for something with more of a plot. How about "The Testicle Trilogy"? It's about a guy who has three.

Frankly, anytime that you can get an attractive, seventy year old woman, even Jane, talking "dirty" on live television, I'm for it!

Finally! I am going to invite Jane to play a role in the play that I'm working on about the adventures of William Jefferson Clinton. I want her to star as Paula Jones in "The Crooked Cock Chronicles." We will cover all of the "C"s.


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