Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Whacko Wednesday

A Washington woman is suing Best Buy for $54 million for losing her laptop computer. To be worth $54 million, there's either a cure for cancer or the world's best porn collection on that hard drive. America, the litigation nation.

Barack Obama won in the District of Columbia. Why have a primary in an area where people don't have a vote for the President?

As Obama and Hillary continue to trash each other, the Republicans are still searching for a candidate with a pulse.

We are fighting a war in Iraq, fighting a war in Afghanistan, gasoline is over $3 a gallon, jobs are going overseas, and criminals are roaming the streets. Naturally enough, Congress is holding hearings about baseball players and steroids. In the Senate, Arlen Specter is concerned about the New England Patriots spying on other teams. Congress, priorities?? I'll bet that those two words rarely turn up in a sentence.

In Greeensboro, the City Manager is under fire for repeatedly lying to and misleading the City Council. Last week, a city attorney denied that a memo existed only to have it published on the front page of the local weekly two days later. Memo to Greensboro city staff: If you are going to lie, do it well!! Putting your usual mediocre, half-assed, government employee effort into it won't work!!

I was at the flea market in Raleigh on Saturday. After a day at the flea market, my self-esteem soars and I feel positively svelte. The biggest problem that we are facing may be obesity. There were women walking through the flea market who should have been preceeded by a small truck with flashing lights and a sign reading "WIDE LOAD". I had several guys waddle up and ask if I had anything in a XXXL. I had to tell them that I didn't. I wasn't sure if the two man tents would wrap all the way around them.

If you are a regular reader, you know that I hate tattoos. An acquaintance told me last week that his son's girlfriend was telling them about her new tattoo at dinnertime. She told them that she had just had a butterfly tattoed on her lower back. In a "Gilbert" moment, he blurted out, "That butterfly on your back will be a buzzard in the crack of your ass when you get old."


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