Free at last, thank God Almighty, free at last!! The Duke Three Story ends

Attorney General Roy Cooper of North Carolina announced that all charges against the Duke Three have been dropped and that the three are innocent.

After months of verbal abuse from members of the Duke faculty and student body, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, community "activists", Geraldo Rivera, and other idiots the game is over. It turns out that no crime was committed. The accuser is incapable of telling the same story twice. Months ago I asked, "remember Tawana Brawley?"

The Duke Three are currently in seclusion awaiting apologies from the famed racists Jackson and Sharptom. Mr. Seligman's future as a porn star has been destroyed by Cooper's announcement. It was widely assumed that if Seligman was having sex with the accuser while he was miles away at an ATM, he had the longest schlong in history. Say goodbye to the new Big John Holmes!