BREAKING NEWS!!

Anna Nicole Smith died from an accidental drug overdose!! In other shocking, late breaking news, the sun will rise tomorrow in the east.

In another expected twist, Anna's "companion", Howard K. Stern, blamed the media for her death. He claims that she would not go to the hospital for fear of the media attention. This is the same media that turned a sack of silicone into a celebrity. Go figure!

On "The View" today, renowned bull dyke and talk show host(ess) Rosie (Call me Butch) O'Donnell, stated that "almost everyone in the Bush Administration is under indictment or suspicion". This merely confirms Ann Coulter's claim a couple of weeks ago that it is now illegal to be a Republican. Pray tell, Mr. O'Donnell, exactly who is "under indictment" and "under suspicion" of what? Add Rosie's mouth to the list of things to duct tape over the weekend.