Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Illegal Immigration Explained- Class 101

Illegal immigrants seem to be a hot topic lately so I thought that I would throw in my thoughts. Someone at work asked me what illegal immigration was all about. So I explained it at their level.

Here's the story. One night you go to bed without locking your back door. When you get up in the morning, there is a family of five living in your garage. The good news is that they are willing to clean your house and take care of your yard for a lot less than you are paying someone to do it now. The bad news is that you have to give them groceries, medical care, and carry extra auto insurance in case they hit your car. Oh yeah, you have to learn their language and you can't take any taxes out of their paycheck.

I don't have a problem with immigrants coming to this country BUT, there are a few catches. Since immigrants from Mexico are getting all of the attention now, let's address this area.

1. If you are going to take advantage of the system, pay into the system. This means not claiming six dependents if you are single just so there won't be any taxes taken out of your pay. Don't bother telling me this doesn't happen. I see it all the time.
2. Learn the language. You are coming to MY home, this doesn't require me to learn YOUR language. A friend of mine, excuse me, my only friend, tells me that I am the only restaurant manager in the country who doesn't speak any Spanish and isn't even interested in learning. He's right. Many Hispanic immigrants understand much more English than they admit. As immigrants from around the world have done forever, they use the language thing to their advantage. One day at work, I told a dishwasher to clean the walk-in cooler. He stood talking to a friend of his who was a cook for several minutes without starting the cleaning. I went by two more times and told him to get started on it. When I told him the third time to get started on it, he told me that he didn't understand my English. I cleared up this misunderstanding by grabbing his time card from the rack and telling him "I will just clock your ass out M***** F***** and you can come back when you speak English!" We were able to instantly bridge the language barrier as he threw himself between me and the timeclock. That was the last time he played the language card.
3. Check a map!! North Carolina isn't Mexico, lose the Mexican flags.
4. Obey the law! Get a drivers license the way I did, at the DMV. Don't use the counterfeiter on the corner. Auto insurance, get it!! I shouldn't have to pay more for insurance so that you can do without. We have enough drug dealers here, we don't need to import any.

Any questions??

Welcome to America!!


At 1:03 PM, Blogger jkimbrell said...



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