Saturday, January 14, 2006

Wuff!! Wuff!! Happy Birthday Mom!!!

I was at Target this morning picking up a few items and thought that I would go ahead and get my mother a birthday card. It's pretty early for me to do this. I mean, today is the 14th and her birthday is the 15th. If she gets the card before March, she will be surprised. I digress, back to Target and my shopping. As I searched the card racks for the appropriate card, I found an incredible card. Under the category "Mother from Dog", there was a card. I couldn't believe it! Of course, I can't decide which was more shocking, a marker with "To Mother from Dog" or the fact that there was actually a card in the slot.

Buy a card for your mom from the dog? Hell, my mother's shocked when her sons send cards. A card from the dog could send her to the cardiac unit.

How do you sign the card? Do you forge the dog's name? Do you have him put his paw on a stamp pad and then stamp the card? Do you cram a pen into his paw and then move his paw to write his name? What if you just duct tape the pen into the dog's paw and let him freehand (or freepaw) his signature? I guess that rubbing his butt on the card and waiting for Mom to sniff it is out of the question. Does it really matter if the dog signs it?

If any of these problems bother you, next fall when you order the dog's Christmas cards, just have his name engraved on them.

I think that I will make a birthday card for Mom and see if I can get the goat to sign it. Wait!! Let me first call American Greetings and see if they have a card labeled "To Mother from Goat". That noise you hear is P.T. "A sucker born every minute" Barnum laughing from his grave.


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