Target is missing the Target

 I used to shop at Target pretty regularly. It's been a long time. When I stopped working in Greensboro about thirteen years ago, I stopped going to Target. I have aged out of any serious shopping for anything but groceries. The purchase of tools and hardware is not covered by any of these statements.

Anyway, yesterday at the grocery store, I was looking for some Chinese Chow Mein stir fry noodles that I like. Food Lion has stopped stocking the brand that I like. Neither Wal-Mart nor Lowes Foods in Reidsville stock these noodles. So, I decided to look online.

In my online search, I found that Target in Greensboro had these noodles in stock. Naturally, no Target closer to my home stocks those noodles. I ordered ten packs of them and got the usual e-mail that they would notify me when my order was ready. A couple of hours later, I checked my email and found the message that my order was ready. I read the message carefully about the pickup procedure. Armed with what I needed, I headed to the Target in Greensboro on New Garden Road.

 I walked into the Target at 4:50 PM and went over to the "Order Pickup" counter and that was the last thing that went well at Target. The young man behind the counter was wearing a face mask. I waited while he issued a refund to the woman in front of me in the line. When she was done and walked away, I approached the counter.

He offered some greeting, and I said to him, "My name is Gilbert Jones, and I am here to pick up an online order." He said, "Do you have your bar code?" I said, "No, I don't have a bar code." He told me, "I need your bar code to look up your order." I responded, "The instructions in the email that I received telling me that my order was ready said that all I needed was a government issued ID with my name on it. I have that." He said, "Just show me the barcode in the message on your phone." I told him, "I don't have a smartphone." He replied, "Then how did you place your order?"

As close as I can recall, that may have been the moment that the top of my head blew off. As I started to respond, I raised the volume level a bit and worked on my assertive conversational skills. "At home, I have a box on my desk and a keyboard and a video screen. I believe that they call that setup "a computer". It allows me to access that magic place called the Internet and communicate with Target. I don't know if you still do but y'all used to sell those things here. That's how I was able to order this without a smartphone."

He again told me, "I need a barcode to find your order." I raised the volume another notch and said, "The email that Target sent me said that all I needed to pick up my order was a government issued ID with my name on it." At that point, I slammed my driver's license on the counter and said, "There is my government issued ID with my name on it. You either need to find my order or find a manager for me to talk to about this." He said, "I will be right back."  

A couple of minutes later he returned. He looked at my license and entered my name on the magic device in his hand. He then said, "It will be out in a couple of minutes." I walked a few steps away to wait. I was actually a little disappointed that he had not brought back a manager.

While I waited, he handled a few other transactions that were refunds or exchanges. Then there was a woman who was there to pick up an order. He told her that it would be a couple of minutes for her order to be brought out. I decided at that point that if she got her order before I got mine, there might be a need to "go postal". Then I realized that I was driving Susan's car, and I had only brought one firearm. I worked on calming down. 

After I had waited about ten minutes, he walked out from behind the counter and walked outside. At that point, I was trying to decide whether to find intelligent life on the staff or just call the store and ask for a manager. About that time, he walked back in the door with my purchase. Apparently, it was in some other part of the store not in the pickup area. It may have been out at the drive-through pickup station. I really don't care. 

Between my problem communicating with the masked moron and waiting 20 minutes while they found my purchase, I will not be returning to Target. The next time my cardiologist tells me that it is time for a stress test, I will tell him that I have already had one.

I will be communicating with Target later this afternoon. They will probably feign surprise that someone that stupid is employed by them.