Stupor Bowl Sunday

They are playing the Super Bowl again today in case you are the other person in the United States who just doesn't give a rat's ass!! 

Duane Thomas was a running back for the Dallas Cowboys in the 1971 season. Before the Super Bowl, he was asked what it was like to be playing in the "ultimate" game. Thomas replied, "If it's the ultimate, why are they playing it again next year?" Some quotes can't be topped. 

They are having their first Super Bowl in Las Vegas. Las Vegas is emblematic of everything that's wrong in America today, but I will save that rant for another day.

Some people claim that they watch the Super Bowl for the commercials. These are the same people who tell you they drink beer for the shape of the bottles.

You won't need to get your world maps out for the game. Even though they claim that the winning team is the "World Champions," they don't play this game on any other continent. 

Joe Biden has declined an interview with CBS, one of his biggest fans, at halftime. Given his after Biden-bedtime press conference on Thursday evening, one might understand his reluctance to speak after dark. With Biden not willing to be interviewed at halftime, you can lock up the world maps or the globes that you might need to find the countries that he would mix up in the interview. Following his comments on Thursday night, someone remarked that they can now go to the border with Mexico to see the Pyramids.

I miss the old days when the Super Halftime show was a marching band. If we had a marching band tonight, they could spell out "Gratuitous" to entertain all of the leftists in the crowd. Follow that with "Senile Joe" for the conservatives and the crowd could go home happy.

I will have to wait for the news on Monday morning to find out if any entertainers lose items of clothing or offend the masses at halftime. 

Several news "sources" ran stories this week about Bud Light advertising on the Super Bowl. Can they un-offend the millions of people that they paid some transexual to piss off last year? It's hard to get mad at a Clydesdale. There is actually a simple solution. Have the CEO appear and say: "We are sorry. We screwed up. We are going back to just making beer. Give us a second chance." Then have the Clydesdales drag him and the alleged transexual off into the sunset. That would be the ad everybody talks about on Monday.

At the Waffle House, I worked for a guy who was so conservative that he thought the John Birch Society was a bunch of liberals. His favorite political theory was, "Everything that liberals touch turns to shit." He didn't live long enough to see Trump say that now or to see social media to prove he was right. 

I tried to watch the news last night, but it appears that the only problem bigger than illegal immigration is the world's concerns about whether or not Taylor Swift's private jet can get her from Japan to Las Vegas in time for the game. As far as I can tell, no one worries about the emissions from Tay-Tay's private jet. You may have to walk to the game from New Mexico to save the atmosphere, but Tay-Tay's jet will fly from Japan.

Last, but certainly not least, the Roman Empire collapsed just before the birth of Biden, can we ditch the Roman Numerals on the game number? They started off the early games with regular numbers. It wasn't even the "Super Bowl" at the start. I think the Roman numerals came with higher ticket prices. I would hazard a guess that most folks can't read the Roman numerals. You have enough pretension with the "ultimate game " term. Bag the Romans!