High Maintenance Voters

 If you read the title and thought, "He's going to write about Democrats," you can go to the head of the class. 

A man in New York has been sentenced in federal court to seven months in prison for posting a meme telling people that they could vote for Hillary by texting their vote. The feds claim that this was an attempt to "suppress the black and brown vote". WOW!! Usually, even Democrats won't say the really stupid part out loud. 

Back in the Stone Age, when I was just learning to walk upright without my knuckles dragging the ground, we voted on Election Day. After voting, Fred, Barney and I would usually go grab a couple of bronto-burgers. No one does that anymore. We don't have Election Day; we have election season. Why? Because Democrats have to cater to the voters who make up the swing voter group that keep Democrats in office. If not for these voters, Democrats would have to get real jobs.

We used to vote on Election Day. Now we have anywhere between a couple of weeks and a month of "early voting". Why? Because Democrat voters can't get anywhere at a designated day and time. It's too much for us to expect them to get their asses to the polls and vote on one specified day. Why can a majority of Republicans make it to the polls on Election Day, but Democrats cannot do that? How does that work?

Why indeed? This brings us to High Maintenance Voters or HMV if you are a government worker. HMV, either High Maintenance Voters or Hates Moving Voluntarily, you choose. HMVs have to be transported by the Democrats to the polls. Makes you wonder how they get to the grocery store, the liquor store or the overpriced athletic shoe store.  WAIT!! I forgot the smart phone store.

Having transported them to the polls, Democrats then have to furnish them with a sample ballot showing which deadbeat Dems that they are to support. God knows the world might end if an HMV voted for someone with an "R" after their name. While the HMVs wait in line at the polls, Democrats have to keep them fed and watered. If you are a Republican, you have to bring your own water and snacks. I have never waited so long in a line to vote that I needed provisions, but I am not an HMV. 

After they have finished voting, the Democrats take the HMVs for a beer run. Pardon me, they return them to their homes.

So, what should we do? First, go back to voting on one day. Open the polls from midnight to midnight so that everyone including HMVs can make it there to vote. Second, use paper ballots. I realize that Dominion Voting Systems claims that their machines cannot be hacked or otherwise manipulated. Since Pentagon, CIA, and bank computers can be hacked, I doubt the veracity of the Dominion claims. Go ahead and sue me guys! 

Eliminate this "ballot drop box" shit. When the IRS starts accepting returns and cash payments at those boxes, we can talk.

Finally, free that poor son of a bitch in New York on this insane idea that he tried to suppress voting by "brown and black people". How does the court know that white people didn't read that meme? Do you have to be brown or black to be stupid enough to believe that? Does the Justice Department seriously believe that white people aren't stupid enough to believe that meme? I have some former employees that I want them to meet. 

Did no one read that meme and think "I should check to see if that is true?" I realize that everyone's reaction is "I saw it on the Internet. It must be true." If you really believed that you could vote by texting, sent me your name and email address immediately. Since we are discussing voting, I will need your Social Security number also. Tell me that you saw it on Tik Tok.

If you believe that you can vote by texting, you are just too stupid to vote. Maybe you can have Hillary Clinton get you in on some of that "reprogramming" shit that she is hustling now. 

What really amazes me is that none of these HMVs or schmucks as I prefer to call them, bothered to use their smartphones to verify the idea of voting by text. We live in a country where the poor are dying of obesity, and they use an $800 smartphone to check their Food Stamp balance. Yet no one bothered to check with Mr. Google on how to vote by text. WOW!! There really is no cure for stupid!

Maybe we could go back to literacy tests for voters. They would get all of those college kids out of the lines at the polls!