Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Weekend Wrapup

Yes, I know that I haven't posted in a while. This may stun you, but I have been busy. It's tough being without a real job. I have no reason to avoid doing other things if I'm not working.

This weekend I was in Charlotte for a gun show. I went there to sell a few things, I didn't have any firearms on my list of needs. Gun shows are always interesting experiences. So I will share a few thoughts with you about my trip to Charlotte, the Queen City. That nickname comes from Charlotte being named after Queen Charlotte, not my friend The Queen.

The gun show was at the Merchandise Mart on Independence Boulevard. It is now The Park Expo, but it's still known locally as the Merchandise Mart. It's next door to the Bojangles Coliseum. Bo's purchased the naming rights a few years ago. It is the original Charlotte Coliseum, having  opened in 1955. They built a new one out near the airport in the 1980's for the Charlotte Hornets. Then they built a new arena, the Time Warner,  for basketball downtown a few years ago and demolished the newer Coliseum. They still owed money on it at the time. City planning??  The original Coliseum continues to operate.

The show was run by C & E Gun Shows, but judging by the crowd, it could have been a P.T. Barnum production. Saturday's theme was obviously Bearded Fat Guy Day. While I am not a petite, I felt like a dwarf standing near some of those guys. There's such a "crack" problem with that crowd, I wish that they would just leave stuff on the floor when they drop it.

As TV shows like Pawn Stars and American Pickers proliferate, I get more idiots who don't understand negotiating. Take a class, guys!! I had an item on my table marked at $200. Some moron picked it up and said, "I'll give you $50." I took it from his hands and said, "I could have stayed home and given it away. I drove 120 miles and rented space here to SELL things. I would give it to the Salvation Army before I would sell it to you for $50." He scratched his beard, rubbed his enormous belly and walked away.

Sunday was Women with Tattoos Day. I love to look at beautiful women. Having said that, I don't think that beautiful women have tattoos. The ones that I saw on Sunday were not little indiscreet tattoos, they were like comic book pages. I hate to stare, but I just couldn't read that fast.

Shorts? As I said, I love to look at beautiful women. Girls, write this down. Shorts are not for everyone. If your butt is bigger than mine, throw your shorts away! While I  appreciate the beauty of a voluptuous woman, the gun show isn't the place for that display. I would rather see them naked than busting out the seams of a pair of Daisy Dukes. Only Betsy Clark ever looked good in those.

Guys and girls with bellies as large or larger than mine need to donate those skin tight shirts to Goodwill. Love handles, muffin tops? I don't care what you call them, just don't come by my table with them.

The concession stand at the show featured a soft drink stand where you could buy a cup and get refills all day for one price. That price was $13 !!  Just when you start to lose hope, you realize that there really is one born every minute. You can't drink enough soda in one day to get your money's worth out of that. Let's face it, a two liter bottle sells for less than two dollars. I couldn't drink enough in my pre-diabetes days to justify that. Yet scores of people were walking around clutching those cups. What do I know?

Speaking of suckers, the venue was charging $50 for Wi-Fi access at the show. FIFTY DOLLARS, are you serious? Yes. I actually considered paying the fifty bucks and  selling the code to everyone else for $10. I decided that it wasn't worth the effort.  At that point, I wasn't aware of the soda scam and didn't realize that so many were waiting to be fleeced.

The Park Expo is on the east side of Charlotte. It appears to be near the city limits of Guadalajara. The only things on that side of town in English are the street signs. The only mainstream businesses left on Independence Boulevard in that area are the car dealers. All of the other businesses are tattoo parlors, pawn shops, night clubs, strip joints, Mexican grocers and mattress stores. You are left to draw your own conclusions.

Looking forward to the show there in November!!


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